Introverts with house guests...

[Tittie]

How do you manage over Christmas? I find it quite draining having to host for several days, and will miss having quiet down time.

I've deliberately under-bought on a few things so I'll have to pop out to the shop (hopefully alone!), but I'm not sure how to grab a few minutes in the evenings.

Well DH would go and have a long poo, but I guess a bath might work for the more refined

I'm an introvert - I wouldn't invite anyone to stay over at Christmas for multiple days. I'd end up in tears in the bedroom. I just don't invite people for anything more than a nice meal.

I was also going to say a long poo.

Nipping out is a good idea. Take a book, find a lay-by and then bitch about how busy the shop was.

I tend to get up quite early and go to bed early so I can have quiet time on my own at the beginning and end of the day. Sometimes I run myself a bath so I can get half an hour uninterrupted. Other times I will just sit in my bedroom for 15-20 minutes. People don't tend to notice if you disappear for 15 mins (at least that's what I've found).

I’m not an introvert and still find this draining - most people do.
On which note - so will your guests to some degree, so try and build in some “quiet time” for everyone.
Stick a buffet type breakfast out for example and sod off back to the bedroom - that gives your guests the feeling that they can do the same.
Suggest that they might want to go and see “local attraction/walk around nice place” etc but give no indication that you’re coming.

Honestly this will relax them too.

This is where my baby comes in handy. I'll 'need' to feed him in another room, change him, take him out for a walk, take him somewhere quieter to help him nap

@GirlOfTudor that is GENIUS anyone know where I can get a baby last minute?

Thats what dogs are for they desperately need an hours walk twice a day !

No dog, no baby so I go and turn the compost.

Ask them to do shopping - gives them a purpose and you a quiet house.

We have a dog, she gets walked a lot at Christmas.

I sometimes have to go and water the greenhouse.

I have been known to have a headache and disappear, just go for a walk or just go off to my room for a bit (sometimes on the pretext of a call with family or others.)

I find getting everyone who wants to out for a walk helps.

Walk the dog
Swim in the sea
Go to my room for a nap
Go to bed early

Some good ideas, thanks! I hadn't really considered that they may feel the same way @Allmadeoflego - good point!

This is one of those times where I wonder if DH was right and that maybe we should have got a dog

@Shedmistress

No dog, no baby so I go and turn the compost.

@ShippingNews

I'm an introvert - I wouldn't invite anyone to stay over at Christmas for multiple days. I'd end up in tears in the bedroom. I just don't invite people for anything more than a nice meal.

This.

I don't do christmas at all, and if anyone randomly turned up at my door they'd be lucky if I answered in the first place, and then they'd be asked what they wanted and certainly not invited in.

I moved house about 18 months ago and deliberately withheld my new address specifically to pre-empt any unannounced visits. I don't know why other introverts force themselves through the sheer hell of having other people in their private spaces because of some strange notion of convention. Tell them to beat it, you'll feel much better for it.

I used to have to go to the pil's every xmas and I'd have a bath around 7pm then go to bed. I found being around people very stressful and irritating, plus I didn't want to be there.

I’m an introvert. I find being vegetarian helps. Nobody wants you at their house as they have to make an alternative main course for you, and nobody wants to come to yours as they know they won’t get a traditional turkey dinner, so everyone leaves you alone. It’s great!

Turning the compost a clear winner here...

I hadn't really considered that they may feel the same way @Allmadeoflego - good point!

As an introvert I'd actually rather host people at mine. Means I can escape much more easily (to the shop, to my room, to have a bath). When you're a guest at someone else's house it's a bit awkward to go and sit in a quiet room on your own (although I have been known!).

I avoid gatherings if I can, but if I couldn't, the dogs would need walking. Frequently. And separately, of course.
And (genius idea) I do have a compost heap or 3.........

On the other hand - Our Xmas just got cancelled due to Corona and I couldn’t be more grateful not to have to sit in someone else’s house for hours until it’s deemed a polite time to leave.

I feel for you OP. I don’t have people over for more than 6 hrs.

I'm introverted and we never have overnight guests, ever. I am welcoming though and people come to drop in ours at several times throughout the day. We have dinner at home now; every year up until my step-dad died we used to go around for a big, busy Christmas with one of my relatives, along with loads of others, and although it was fun it was draining. This will be the first year we've invited someone for the meal but it's one person and I enjoy their company.

I also don’t think of myself as an introvert but am dreading this and don’t want to do it again.

I'm an introvert spending a week with relatives and my kids over Christmas. It's easy to say just don't do it but I'm always torn between my need for quiet solitude and my need to see loved ones I live far away from. I miss them all year but once I'm here I'm overwhelmed. I go to the shop for them as soon as something runs out which means multiple trips for different things. I go for walks on my own or with a similarly introvert relative who I know will walk peacefully. I pick a time like 8am, dusk or just as the rain starts to reduce the chance of someone wanting to join me! I do jobs in another room like offer to cook or do the washing up if they're all watching TV or playing a game. I agree, I find hosting more introvert friendly, as I know where the escape routes and quiet hiding spots are in my own house. I would also escape up to my allotment to empty the compost scraps or pick veg for dinner. As a kid I used to hate visiting people's houses as I always used to get told off for hiding behind sofas reading a book, but if you can do it without getting told off sitting with others but reading a book can feel like an escape whilst you are still in the room. It works with my family but DH's need you to make eye contact and chat or board game if you're in the room with them, I'm more likely to suddenly realise I need to deep clean the kitchen or garage when they visit.

I wash the kitchen floor, but intentionally wash it in the wrong direction so that I am "stuck in the far corner" conveniently where I can't be seen from the hall.
Also can't be seen is the copy of the Financial Times Christmas crossword and a glass of bailey's

I can’t lie, I’m pretty stoked at the second year in a row of not having house guests for Christmas. If we have to do it all together (always PIL) then I’d rather do it here than stay elsewhere because then it’s even harder to escape. But I do really struggle having people here for more than a day or two. Doesn’t help that PiL are quite formal people and don’t really watch tv. Hard to get any down time.