Page 3 | Introverts with house guests...

BringMeTea · 24/12/2021 15:33

This thread was going so well... sigh. Not one person has said they are monosyllabic or unwelcoming so not sure what someone's monosyllabic house guest has to do with the price of fish. Solidarity with fellow introverts... Merry Downtime!

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 24/12/2021 15:56

I don’t think enforced hermitry over the last two years have helped at all. I hate Christmas. Always have since my 20s. I feel it approaching like a sickening wave of depressive miserableness. However. Mum expects me to stay at hers. I’m thinking max 2 nights. But dad died this year so I can’t just fly off the minute last after eight is eaten. I have a new house. I love my new house. I just want to stay in my new house. I also have a shitload of uni work (teacher training) to do. Especially as took a bit of time out when lost dad. I just want to stay home. But I’m feeling more and more like this these days. Lockdowns gave an excuse not to go anywhere and I struggled to adjust back. Now we’re encouraged gently at the mo not to go anywhere. And that suits me fine. I know I’ll have a lovely time at mums. We’re spending tomorrow at my sister’s however. She lives a little further away than a quick pop. And I can’t take ddog as she has cats and it does not work at all. Boxing Day I’m going to cousins and we play games and I love that. It’s just the being stuck somewhere with no escape I struggle with. And not having 24 hr access to food and chocolate. And my niece ate all the skin off the turkey last time we were there. I just want to stay home. Snuggle my dog. Read uni stuff. Have my shit on the tv. And sleep in my own bed. Anywhere else I’m like a fish out of water. The plus is I will be spending time with ds - 19 who moved out this year and I miss him so much. I think I am a little depressed. I always am this time of year. I hate inflicting this on myself. Or indeed others. But I love my mum so much. This can’t be the first Christmas in 18 years we don’t stay at her house. She lives in our town. But it still feels like we’re miles away from home… Merry Christmas Everyone!!

coodawoodashooda · 24/12/2021 15:59

@Tittie

How do you manage over Christmas? I find it quite draining having to host for several days, and will miss having quiet down time.

I've deliberately under-bought on a few things so I'll have to pop out to the shop (hopefully alone!), but I'm not sure how to grab a few minutes in the evenings.

Go for long baths.

Original poster

Tittie · 24/12/2021 16:39

@BringMeTea

This thread was going so well... sigh. Not one person has said they are monosyllabic or unwelcoming so not sure what someone's monosyllabic house guest has to do with the price of fish. Solidarity with fellow introverts... Merry Downtime!

Being monosyllabic isn't introverted, that's just rude

I do think that people often mistake shyness for introversion. It's perfectly possible to be an outgoing introvert or a shy extrovert!

Anyway. I'm off to pour a gin Merry Christmas!

OP posts:

Original poster

Tittie · 24/12/2021 16:44

@Dontfuckingsaycheese

I don’t think enforced hermitry over the last two years have helped at all. I hate Christmas. Always have since my 20s. I feel it approaching like a sickening wave of depressive miserableness. However. Mum expects me to stay at hers. I’m thinking max 2 nights. But dad died this year so I can’t just fly off the minute last after eight is eaten. I have a new house. I love my new house. I just want to stay in my new house. I also have a shitload of uni work (teacher training) to do. Especially as took a bit of time out when lost dad. I just want to stay home. But I’m feeling more and more like this these days. Lockdowns gave an excuse not to go anywhere and I struggled to adjust back. Now we’re encouraged gently at the mo not to go anywhere. And that suits me fine. I know I’ll have a lovely time at mums. We’re spending tomorrow at my sister’s however. She lives a little further away than a quick pop. And I can’t take ddog as she has cats and it does not work at all. Boxing Day I’m going to cousins and we play games and I love that. It’s just the being stuck somewhere with no escape I struggle with. And not having 24 hr access to food and chocolate. And my niece ate all the skin off the turkey last time we were there. I just want to stay home. Snuggle my dog. Read uni stuff. Have my shit on the tv. And sleep in my own bed. Anywhere else I’m like a fish out of water. The plus is I will be spending time with ds - 19 who moved out this year and I miss him so much. I think I am a little depressed. I always am this time of year. I hate inflicting this on myself. Or indeed others. But I love my mum so much. This can’t be the first Christmas in 18 years we don’t stay at her house. She lives in our town. But it still feels like we’re miles away from home… Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Sorry to hear about your dad

Go easy on yourself, I hope your time at your mum's goes quick enough and you can get back to your little bubble

OP posts:

BringMeTea · 24/12/2021 17:40

Dontfuckingsaycheese that sounds tough. Sorry for your loss and as you say you don't want your mama to be alone this Christmas. Just don't expect too much. From either of you. 2 nights sounds very fair and after night one, it's nearly the last night! Take care.

parrotonmyshoulder · 24/12/2021 18:00

Mine are lovely and know me well. Out of 8 of us here, 5 are definite introverts. We also holiday together and all find time to either do our own thing or just the right person to do it with. There’s always some washing up to do or a dog to walk.

GrumpyPanda · 24/12/2021 18:01

@JellyBabiesSaveLives

I offer everyone a hot drink and then I sit with my cup of tea in the living room and read my book. Introvert guests look at me with joy and find their books / phones too. My extrovert husband takes the hint and rounds up the extrovert guests to go and be sociable in another room 😀

Sometimes I just announce that I’m tired and going for a nap. I don’t invite anyone who would be offended by this!

Fully agree, except my shit bag narcissist "D"sis has accused me of ruining her family's Christmas for browsing one of my nieces' books when it was her turn to host last. Oh, and apparently I wasn't enthusiastic enough during carol-singing (for the record, I love both carols and singing but do find that in general it helps to a) use carols people know either the text or tune of, preferably both, and b) use a register suitable not just for guinea pigs but also for human altoes). She's also in therapy and it seems she, or her shrink, have been reading too many Dear Abby columns on the benefits of NC/LC so it's looking like separate Christmasses for the foreseeable

On a serious note, how about trying "would anyone like to come on an after-lunch walk, or do you digest better with the help of a solid nap?". It does help naps are an accepted, even revered, practice in my family - we then reconvene over coffee or tea.

parrotonmyshoulder · 24/12/2021 19:10

My grandad always, without fail, would have a nap in his chair after lunch. This was every day, not just Christmas. It’s a habit I think I could cultivate (if I didn’t work!) as even if he wasn’t actually sleeping, it meant an hour if quiet. No need to interact, everyone else respecting the time and space. I don’t think I ever understood that until now. He was an incredible man, full of wisdom and kindness and would listen with great respect to anyone. He enjoyed being with people and never missed a large family Christmas or celebration. He was most definitely an introvert and able to take time for his own needs.

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 27/12/2021 15:14

I’m home. We got through it. Surely if Christmas is such an ordeal opting out is a viable option. But really not allowed!! It was lovely to spend time with mum. I really do have a wonderful family with none of the toxicity I’m always reading about on here. I had the odd wobble. Was chatting with mum yesterday and I burst into sobs about how hard I find Christmas. Next year we have decided I am to cook my first Christmas dinner ever!! I am 52 next month! I’ve either been at mum’s, sister’s or for one year only my grandma’s. When I was little and we were having an extension built. It’s just that being with other people makes me feel odd and awkward through their eyes. On my own I can just bimble about. I reminded my mum of the time I had said I’d rather spend Christmas on my own with a plate of beans. And she said but you don’t like beans. I ate baked beans up to the age of about 7. Then absolutely could not bear them. That’s how young I was when I said it… Anyway. Survived. Had a giggle. Used the dog as an excuse to go back to mum’s empty house at 6. Had a good nap then read some uni stuff. Hope everybody else is surviving the ordeal!!