Need neutral opinions on this please. I'm coming from a place of selfishness I think.

[Iknowwhatineedtodoreally]

Ex and I have 2 daughters.

Last year he had them all hyped up for going to his on Christmas day, 2 days beforehand he said he couldn't as he was working.

After much arguing back and forward he finished work slightly early and I left the rest of my dc for an hour to go and drop the little ones off at his (about an hour round trip, ex doesn't drive).

This year (supposed to be my Christmas) he has now announced he's having them as it falls on his normal weekend and therefore has the day off.

I have family coming to see them, I have arranged all the food and was looking forward to having a lovely day. I was also looking forward to a glass of something on Christmas morning, plus I don't want to leave the house to drop them off again.

He isn't the worst father in the world. He has them overnight every second weekend, when I was very ill last year he took a fortnight off work to look after them (then threw it back in my face later). He doesn't really contact them in between every second weekend either.

They adore him, but his home (as I've discovered recently) isn't very cosy and homely, he has no carpets or curtains, washing machine or cooker. The only reason he has a tree and decorations is because I bought them last year for his house. So the thought of my girls stuck there is breaking my heart (they seem absolutely fine there though, so that's my issue).

If he doesn't get the girls he will be 100% alone, he moved here to be with me years ago and his family lives hundreds of miles away, so I do feel bad. Having him here isn't an option.

I did tell him that I may be able to sort a lift out later in the day (near bedtime) but the person now has covid so that's a no.

I feel awful for him being all on his own on Xmas, but equally I don't want to do all the running around, and I wanted my girls this whole Christmas. If he doesn't get them it will be a month between seeing them.

What is the best thing for the girls here?

I am aware my op is also bias towards me as well, but I was just trying to give facts. Please tell me honestly what's the best for them. TIA.

Unless there is domestic abuse I never understand why adults put their children through this shit. Grow up both of you and have just have Christmas together. Thank the lord my parents did and still do for their grandchildren. And not just Christmas but birthdays graduation etc

Why on earth doesn't he have an oven? How does he eat?

And why do you do the washing for their bedding? Doesn't he have a washing machine?

Why can't he drive?

I'm sorry but he sounds like an incompetent dopey teenage boy. Stop doing all the lifts and washing.

Did you send a text?

You're clearly trying so hard for your DC but history will just repeat itself and when they're older they'll end up seeing him for what he really is, a shit Dad. He wouldn't work when you were married, he has a DC he doesn't even bother to see,he makes no effort unless you do all the running around_ he's a total manchild and he'll never change unless it's forced on him.
Time for change ,@Iknowwhatineedtodoreally, in future you resolve to step back, let your DC see him but he does the work. If he stops seeing them that will be sad for your DC but he will hurt them one day, now or later, when they see he can't be bothered to do anything for them.