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Original poster

Mother to take me to court for access to grandkids

56 replies

Kanfuzed123 · 20/12/2021 22:47

I’m LC with my mother due to the fact she was physically and emotionally abusive growing up and continues to be emotionally abusive (spiteful comments, gaslighting etc). I’m the scapegoated child and my brother is the golden child.

I have 2 children one is 2 and a bit and the other a few weeks old. My mother has been ignoring me since the birth of dc2, she also said some spiteful things about how I let down my father and disappointed him before his death. I had limited contact with her more so than usual prior to birth as she has a tendency of trying create drama and stress and I was worried I wouldn’t go into spontaneous labour as I went over my due date.

Now she is saying she plans on taking me to court for access to my children. I know grandparents have no legal rights in the UK without going through the courts. I know why I’m limited contact with her, because of how she acts and each time I do speak to her she tries to start an argument or makes barbed comments and I don’t want my children exposed to that. Also due to how she treated me as a child, and continues to treat me and my husband but I have no ‘proof’ she abused me as a child and she will claim I’m the worlds worst person and deserved it.

Where do I stand in this? Will she win?

OP posts:
Fupoffyagrasshole · 20/12/2021 22:49

Just block her and go absolutely no contact with her

She’s got nothing - she sounds awful

VanCleefArpels · 20/12/2021 22:54

It will be a long and expensive road for her. You have no control over her actions so in your shoes I’d cut all forms of contact if that is what suits you best right now and wait and see what happens. If it got that far the court would consider the needs of the children above all else.

TerribleCustomerCervix · 20/12/2021 22:58

I’m not a lawyer, and I’m happy to be corrected, but I thought that grandparents have previously only been given visitation rights when they’d previously had a longstanding, close relationship with the grandkids, and saw them very regularly.

So just being related to them doesn’t give her any rights one way or another?

furballfun · 20/12/2021 22:58

No, she won't - a relative of mine tried this, and she had previously had very regular contact with the grandchildren, including overnight care every couple of weeks. She still lost.

Longdistance · 20/12/2021 22:59

She’s got a card hell in chance. Let her waste her money, stupid woman. Perhaps speak to a solicitor yourself and see if you can get them to help with her harassing you with solicitor letters. I’d go full NC.

Theunamedcat · 20/12/2021 23:01

No chance my mom wanted to go for this the solicitor made it clear she would have to prove a long lasting and meaningful relationship with my daughter to even stand the remotest of chances and she literally saw her once a fortnight for a few hours and even that wasn't recent

Just block her

WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia · 20/12/2021 23:07

She probably has no intention of going through the courts. That will be expensive and time consuming. She’s just trying to scare you/manipulate you into letting her see the children.
Block her number. Have no contact at all.

FFSFFSFFS · 20/12/2021 23:09

She would one hundred per cent without a doubt lose any such action.

Cut off all contact and move very very very far away

Original poster
Kanfuzed123 · 20/12/2021 23:13

She’s under the impression that as she’d recently sent a box of boden clothes and some expensive wooden toys that this proves she’s a dedicated grand parent.

She’s seen dd about 6 times in 2 and a bit years. Supervised only and no caring responsibility.

She’s of course re written history in her own mind to make herself the victim and has now ‘forgotten’ every nasty thing she’s said/ done. The premise of her ‘court case’ is for FaceTimes, she wants to sue me to get more FaceTimes 😐😐

OP posts:
Knittedfairies · 20/12/2021 23:14

Just drop the rope and stop engaging with her. Just block her. She has no chance of winning.

Original poster
Kanfuzed123 · 20/12/2021 23:27

Good to know she’s not got a chance in hell! Thanks everyone!

Flowers
OP posts:
AliceMcK · 20/12/2021 23:46

Agree with others go NC and don’t worry about it, she is all talk, even if she isn’t she dosnt have a chance.

MarmitesMyMate · 20/12/2021 23:51

Unlikely to win
Keep a copy of any contact she makes. No matter how small.

tokyodreams · 20/12/2021 23:51

The best place to look for advice on this is do to do a search on the legal section.

Grandparents don't have automatic rights to grandchildren but they can apply to family court for a hearing. The same family court system that is entirely closed and often finds in favour of abusive fathers.

If you search for real world examples then yes, you will find that there is court ordered access to grandparents even when the relationship isn't well established. It's far better to seek advice from people who have been through it than from people who repeat advice by rote on the internet.

If I were in your shoes (I have been in your shoes) and couldn't prove abuse (I could prove some of the stuff I went through but not all) I would make it clear that all any contact from them is unwanted and if they continue report them to police for harassment. This is the only thing that worked for us and it put paid to all the family court posturing from my millionaire parents.

Hen2018 · 21/12/2021 00:31

That’s not even a thing.

Ignore her.

tokyodreams · 21/12/2021 00:37

@Hen2018

That’s not even a thing.

Ignore her.

It is a thing, sadly.
Hen2018 · 21/12/2021 00:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

MinnieMountain · 21/12/2021 07:08

But it is a thing @Hen2018 Confused

FreeBritnee · 21/12/2021 07:11

Yeah tell her to go for it and youre happy to go along with the court’s decision. Then block the bitch.

Cherrysoup · 21/12/2021 07:14

Stop engaging with her. Go nc. Why would you maintain contact?

alongwayhome · 21/12/2021 07:28

She hasn't got a hope in hell. I think in your shoes I'd go totally NC.

GoGadgetGo · 21/12/2021 07:29

My mother did this and won. However, she did have a long-standing positive relationship with GC.

Original poster
Kanfuzed123 · 21/12/2021 07:33

@GoGadgetGo

My mother did this and won. However, she did have a long-standing positive relationship with GC.
@GoGadgetGo I’m sorry to pry but were you limited contact or no contact for a reason?
OP posts:
GoGadgetGo · 21/12/2021 07:37

It was a siblings partner who went NC to be spiteful after years of letting my mother see and look after the GC regularly.

Different situation to yours completely.

BakewellGin1 · 21/12/2021 07:38

Mil threatened this until I said go ahead and reminded her I had texts proving her being threatening, shop would have cctv of her threatening me in street with GC present, she sent many messages saying she wanted no contact, using DGC as bait and that she wouldn't babysit unless X, Y or Z happened...

I went NC. She hasn't seen oldest in 11 years and youngest never.

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