Still can't quite believe the ambulance service said 'we can't help you' :-O

[mineofuselessinformation]

DC2 (young adult) woke me at 6.30 this morning in severe abdominal pain. I ran through the usual things: painkillers, constipation etc.
By 7.30 it had escalated (pain score 8), so I called 111. They advised that DC needed to have help: they would call back within the hour or send a non-urgent ambulance. Advised if pain worsened to call 999. Happy with that although not good to see DC so unwell.
30 mins later pain had increased - DC slapping themselves on the leg to try to distract from the pain and in clear distress, so called 999. Ran through symptoms with them, told them 111 had advised to call.
Their response after asking questions: 'we can't help you'.
Luckily 111 called back five minutes later so I told them what had happened. They sent an ambulance which attended. Advised to take DC straight to A&E as symptoms weren't giving a clear picture as to what was wrong, clearly needed to be seen, but not at death's door just yet. (I don't have an issue with this but did tell them I was concerned at driving quite a distance with someone so unwell in the car in my own.)
We duly attended and the upshot was that DC has what used to be called a 'grumbling appendix'. We were told symptoms may well recur and to attend A&E if they do. (By this point the pain had settled a lot due to codeine.)

I've never experienced this before - the 999 call handler had no way of knowing nothing serious was wrong with DC, yet still gave me a flat no - and I was told to ring by 111. (And DC could have had a ruptured appendix, given their pain and symptoms.)
I don't know why I'm posting except to get it off my chest, but I am wondering if the call handler needs to have a bit more training?

@Canigooutyet no offence, but poor you 🥴

I can understand why you didn't want to drive him yourself.

But on the other hand. I live in Germany, I cut my finger badly a few years ago at work. I asked for help, someone phoned me an ambulance. The ambulance then phoned back and said can she walk? As I could walk, they asked me to make my own way to A&E. It was the right thing to do. I wasn't thinking straight, but there was no reason I needed to be in an ambulance. A normal car driven by a colleague was absolutely fine and it saved an ambulance from being tied up dealing with me when it could have been going to another emergency.

I thought at the time that the NHS should do similar rather than sending an ambulance to anyone who asks for one. I think we've become a bit dependant on it as a service where as perhaps we could use our initiative a bit more.

I was refused an ambulance for my toddler when he had a coin stuck in his throat. It was a scary drive to the hospital, I spend the whole drive worried the coin was going to twist every-time he vomited and block his airway.
A+E were horrified an ambulance had been refused, but he didn't follow the algorithm to need one. We were ushered straight through on arrival.

We are lucky in the fact that we have limited parking straight outside a&e so I parked there. If not though I would’ve just dropped as close to entrance as possible before parking as my husband wasn’t really able to stand or walk unaided at all.

Sorry this happened OP. Did the call handler even know if you had access to a car or did they just immediately say that they couldn't help?

I do think that the call handler needs more training too. They could have at least advised you, rather than just saying we can't help.

I don't blame you for driving if you didn't feel able. I'm not a confident driver, I can drive around the small town where I lkve, but if I had to take someone to the nearest hospital in the bustling city 30 mins drive away, I don't think I'd cope very well, especially if they were in a lot of pain and could potentially deteriorate even further. People suggesting a taxi is all well and good, but that presumes that everyone has the money in their bank account for a long taxi journey.

Well, I'm feeling a little more relaxed now, and that's despite the nest of vipers handing me my arse on a plate...
Not to drip-feed, but it was the combination of being told to call 999 if pain worsened, which it did, the call handler not giving any advice (no idea if they are allowed to), and being left to deal with a very distressed young adult who, (sorry if this is a drip feed) suffers from anxiety, which is why I was trying to hold it together. (This DC is also severely visually impaired although I didn't find it necessary or relevant to post in my OP, but maybe it is).
I was neither trying to use an ambulance as a taxi (I have already posted about this), nor trying to jump a queue.
I have been in more than a few medical 'incidents' if you want to call them that, including fighting for my older DC to get seen earlier for a life-threatening condition which a GP brushed off, holding my DF's hand while he vomited up his own blood, eventually bleeding to death into his gut, and trying to cope with my DMum's advancing COPD, which results in frequent hospital visits and stays.
I have no-one here to help. No partner, no neighbours that are able to step in and no family nearby.
Maybe now those that are enjoying giving me a good kicking might try to understand why I panicked. Or, maybe they will now accuse me of drip-feeding. Maybe I'm a weak person. But, I'm a human being, genuinely concerned for their child, however grown, and needing some help and guidance as to what to do.

If there are no staffed ambulances available, they can't send one.
That's what a pandemic does to an NHS already decimated by a decade of Tory cuts. Don't vote Tory next time!

I got in a taxi with my semi conscious 5 yesr old who was breathing rapidly..signs if severe pneumonia. We waited in A and E and found she was very ill and developing sepsis.

Quickest way to hospital is to get yourself there.

As someone said. People drive their partners in advanced labour (I got taxis while rolling in the back having contractions ).

I gave birth on my kitchen floor two months ago. My husband was talked through it by the dispatcher. We then had to wait a further 40 minutes for an ambulance to arrive to take me and my newborn to hospital.
When they arrived, they said they thought I was in early labour and just needed a taxi.
God knows what happened. The dispatcher heard me give birth so she knew it wasn’t early labour.
Luckily, all was well except for a retained placenta and a haemorrhage which was quickly sorted at the hospital.

We rang for an ambulance when my mum fell and was stuck on floor. She had terminal bone cancer. We were told they couldn't help us and that we were to persevere trying to get her back into bed ourselves. It took us 6 hours, but we managed it, one tiny movement at a time. Who knows if we broke any more of her bones, she was in enough pain as it was. Horrendous.

Here is a list of some of the people to blame for the :

1. Tory MPs for underfunding the NHS for years.
2. The right wing media for propping up the Tories and keeping them in power
3. Pharmaceutical companies/businesses that are buying out the NHS for profit
4. People that voted the Tories in and allow the selling of the NHS and the constant underfunding.

5.

@mineofuselessinformation

Well, I'm feeling a little more relaxed now, and that's despite the nest of vipers handing me my arse on a plate... Not to drip-feed, but it was the combination of being told to call 999 if pain worsened, which it did, the call handler not giving any advice (no idea if they are allowed to), and being left to deal with a very distressed young adult who, (sorry if this is a drip feed) suffers from anxiety, which is why I was trying to hold it together. (This DC is also severely visually impaired although I didn't find it necessary or relevant to post in my OP, but maybe it is). I was neither trying to use an ambulance as a taxi (I have already posted about this), nor trying to jump a queue. I have been in more than a few medical 'incidents' if you want to call them that, including fighting for my older DC to get seen earlier for a life-threatening condition which a GP brushed off, holding my DF's hand while he vomited up his own blood, eventually bleeding to death into his gut, and trying to cope with my DMum's advancing COPD, which results in frequent hospital visits and stays. I have no-one here to help. No partner, no neighbours that are able to step in and no family nearby. Maybe now those that are enjoying giving me a good kicking might try to understand why I panicked. Or, maybe they will now accuse me of drip-feeding. Maybe I'm a weak person. But, I'm a human being, genuinely concerned for their child, however grown, and needing some help and guidance as to what to do.

Yea still doesn't make it an ambulance situation.

OP, i can see that you were panicked, and probably felt inadequate to deal with the situation on your own initiative.
if it happens again, consider if there are any neighbours who you can ask to help you, even people you are not normally chummy with.

1. My phone for being too trigger happy

I sympathise op irs really horrible when yoi don't get proper information. But I think generally (not specifically you) people need to avoid calling an ambulance unless its absolutely unavoidable.

In terms of knowing exactly where you are, I’d recommend the what3words app. Every location is mapped by 3 words which are unique to that location and gives a really accurate description of where you are the the emergency services and anyone with the app.

Hope your DC is on the mend!

Whilst you were wasting time on phone calls you could have been at the hospital.

It was not life threatening and you have a car. I wouldn’t have waited for an ambulance or called one. I would have just taken them to A and E, in my car 🤷‍♀️

@mineofuselessinformation

Well, I'm feeling a little more relaxed now, and that's despite the nest of vipers handing me my arse on a plate... Not to drip-feed, but it was the combination of being told to call 999 if pain worsened, which it did, the call handler not giving any advice (no idea if they are allowed to), and being left to deal with a very distressed young adult who, (sorry if this is a drip feed) suffers from anxiety, which is why I was trying to hold it together. (This DC is also severely visually impaired although I didn't find it necessary or relevant to post in my OP, but maybe it is). I was neither trying to use an ambulance as a taxi (I have already posted about this), nor trying to jump a queue. I have been in more than a few medical 'incidents' if you want to call them that, including fighting for my older DC to get seen earlier for a life-threatening condition which a GP brushed off, holding my DF's hand while he vomited up his own blood, eventually bleeding to death into his gut, and trying to cope with my DMum's advancing COPD, which results in frequent hospital visits and stays. I have no-one here to help. No partner, no neighbours that are able to step in and no family nearby. Maybe now those that are enjoying giving me a good kicking might try to understand why I panicked. Or, maybe they will now accuse me of drip-feeding. Maybe I'm a weak person. But, I'm a human being, genuinely concerned for their child, however grown, and needing some help and guidance as to what to do.

Sounds like you’ve been through a lot but I would’ve thought this would make you more likely to want to get to hospital!

@Prescottdanni123

Sorry this happened OP. Did the call handler even know if you had access to a car or did they just immediately say that they couldn't help?

I do think that the call handler needs more training too. They could have at least advised you, rather than just saying we can't help.

I don't blame you for driving if you didn't feel able. I'm not a confident driver, I can drive around the small town where I lkve, but if I had to take someone to the nearest hospital in the bustling city 30 mins drive away, I don't think I'd cope very well, especially if they were in a lot of pain and could potentially deteriorate even further. People suggesting a taxi is all well and good, but that presumes that everyone has the money in their bank account for a long taxi journey.

If you can’t confidently drive to a town 30 minutes away then you either need more lessons, more practice or stop driving.

My BIL had this about 10 years ago and the ambulance service said they couldn't help which was frightening as he was in the foetal position in pain.
It turned out to be testicular tortion which can result in losing a testicle. Thankfully they caught it in time.

mineofuselessinformation I don't think anyone is giving you a kicking intentionally, the ambulance services are overstretched and if we can safely get someone to A+E without an ambulance we should do it as that will mean the ambulance service is free for someone else who might be critically ill. We all panic when a loved one is unwell and just want to get help for them.
I'm glad your DS is on the mend and next time (if it happens) don't bother with 999 straight in the car. You'll likely get them to hospital much faster than the paramedics.

Sorry you are getting such a hard time.on here, OP. I hope that your DC feels better soon.

@TolkiensFallow

This is a symptom of a fucked nhs

I’m sorry this happened to you

Nope, it's the symptom of people misusing ambulances. op should have taken her son to the hospital in her car.

I had police officers with a male who had been found collapsed on thr floor for 2hrs this morning with all the classic stroke symptoms. We were told 5hrs for a category 2 ambulance - this is meant to be 18 minutes. We had to do a lot of fighting but eventually we "only" ended up waiting an hour and a half.

The ambulance service is totally screwed.

I was in this situation last April, before Omicron. We knew it was likely to be appendicitis, call handler had said as much, so I took my DD into A&E where she was seen very quickly, triaged and operated on that night. I'm in East Anglia too, about 30 minutes from the nearest major hospital. I don't see how an ambulance could have got us there any faster and really, they're needed for immediate life and death cases.

If you want a better NHS, maybe make some better choices next election.