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Original poster

ASD son talking constantly about latest obsession -help!!

117 replies

PrancingQueen · 20/12/2021 16:10

How do I manage this?
He’s a lovely boy, 9 years old, but since the age of 2 he has developed obsessions about some quite random things. He watches You Tube, reads books to ‘research’ and talks about nothing else!
His current obsession is frankly so boring (to me) I want to scream Grin. He has talked about nothing else for 3 months - HELP!
How do I manage this?
If I say let’s chat about something else for a while, he’ll either manage this for all of 2 minutes before crow-barring in his subject, or just look at me like I’m mad!
I’ve really tried to involve myself - some obsessions have been more interesting than others, but honestly, this current one is so damn boring.

Any ideas welcome. Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
Original poster
PrancingQueen · 20/12/2021 16:16

I should add that it’s just the two of us so no one else to hear his fascinating facts!

OP posts:
CuriousMariette · 20/12/2021 16:42

Sorry no suggestions but I’m bookmarking hoping someone with good ideas will be along. My DP does this (he has mental health problems) and bangs on for ages about his latest interest 😴 to anyone who will listen (usually me). As an adult we can make a bit more of a joke about this as he has some awareness of what he’s like but it’s difficult not to hurt his feelings by telling him to give it a rest.

Boxbox2 · 20/12/2021 16:47

Hi OP, I wonder if scheduling in some specific hobby time with him would help, even if it's only say 10 mins a day, and it's made clear the rest of the time you'd rather hear about other things from him. I have experience of living with people with ASD and have had quite an easy ride of it once they've understood the schedule - and they know outside of the alloted time is variety or quiet time Brew might sound overly restrictive or harsh but I've found there's something in the ASD brain that rather relishes rules like these, even if friendly reminders are needed sometimes.

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9 year olds
Concestor · 20/12/2021 16:49

I'm autistic with autistic children. I just tell mine I've had enough and don't want to hear about that any more today/for now.

It's ok to explain that other people get bored of you go on about things.

RockPaperScissorLizardSpock · 20/12/2021 16:53

Oh OP, I can sympathise. Our 10yr old DS is being assessed for Autism, and ,boy, can that child talk for England when he has an obsession (or just generally!). Love him to pieces, but it’s not easy sometimes.
Sorry, I don’t have any advice, but just wanted to let you know you’re not alone.

haba · 20/12/2021 16:53

Same as @zurala - "Erm, DS, that's really enough about that now sweetheart."

Some days it takes me three hours to get to that point, some days it's more like twenty minutes! Blush

stripyleopardsleep · 20/12/2021 17:14

Autistic son here - I wonder if you need some social communication support with him around this area - to help him understand why it's not always well received to perseverate on topics - maybe some social stories etc. DS goes to an autism school and they do A LOT of social communication lessons on these sorts of things and it makes a massive difference to his awareness.

ImmutableSexQueen · 20/12/2021 17:17

Autistic daughter did the same until pretty much she was married. I well-remember 'counterpoint'. It's a thing in music, not a game show. I heard a lot about it. Prior to that it was 'Radiohead'. That was ok.

Nowadays we all know so much more and if feeling under pressure will say 'I'm out of spoons now!'

janicewheeler · 20/12/2021 17:21

Ds 7 diagnosed asd does this bless him. He will literally go on and on and on while walking round in circles, barely comes up for breath.

JackieCollinshasnoauthority · 20/12/2021 17:25

Mine is the same. Get him to write about/draw/do a vlog on it.

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 20/12/2021 17:25

Maybe he could practice his' speech' in his room and record on a device. Then he can sit and listen to himself!!
*in his bedroom!!
Tell him he is being David Attenborough or insert suitable famous voice over person!!

savagebaggagemaster · 20/12/2021 17:29

Luckily I have dh to absorb ds (13) tech related obsessions, however I would speak to him about how it can be boring for other people. With the best will in the world, not all children are particularly tolerant even when they have been made aware of ASD. Kids in the playground just walk off from my ds or tell him he's boring, then he spends all evening upset. I feel so sorry for him at times but he also needs to learn that not everyone is into the same stuff as him.

stairway · 20/12/2021 17:47

What is the topic if you don’t mind sharing.

Pleasedontputthatthere · 20/12/2021 17:52

This is my son! His latest obsession is coconut crabs. I do tune out a bit to be honest. He is only 8 and doesn't beef too much if he doesn't think I'm listening but I can see this is going to get worse. He is severely dyslexic so can't read yet as such not only do I have to hear about whatever his latest thing is, I also have to read him stuff about it.

I can't even say it will pass, I think we're a long way off that. My friends son is 12 and he has just upped the detail in which he talks about things. He could probably write a PHD in his chosen subject now.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 20/12/2021 17:57

Came on to say can he create youtube videos, posters, research guides?

Newuser82 · 20/12/2021 18:08

I’ve always suspected my son may have autism. He gets like this a lot. His last one was the American civil war! Goodness, I have never known as much about history as I do now 😂.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 20/12/2021 18:17

DS started with Berlin public transport aged 4, worked his way via dinosaurs and the the lord of the rings to minecraft, starwars and startrek. He is a young adult now and occasionally comes to me announcing his intention to "display an AS symptom" that is: a large scale infomation dump of the latest aspect of one of his interests.
At least he prewarns me now! Grin

StillMedusa · 20/12/2021 18:25

I raise you a 5 year obsession with supermarkets across the world. Including the Stats on the major shareholders and expansion plans Grin DS2 also has learning disabilities, but he can read and his knowledge on his 'specialist topics' is incredible.
And a 22 year obsession with Shania Twain (DS2 is 24 now and he literally became obsessed aged 2 and it has never waned)

I do have to tell him to stop, especially when he repeats himself endlessly, but it does fascinate me just how absorbed he is..I kind of envy that!

AmIgoinghomeforXmas · 20/12/2021 18:26

My ADHD ds does this as well.
I sometimes do listen with only half an ear.
Currently I am learning everything there is to know about Kayne West.
I had to assist in building a computer over the summer.

It boosts my education if nothing else.

AnnaMagnani · 20/12/2021 18:27

My mum has never forgiven the geography teacher who taught me about glaciated valleys.

Still think they are amazing now - an actual river, made of ice!

I'll go now before I get started.

minniep · 20/12/2021 18:27

I totally sympathise OP. My DS aged 6 is autistic and my god it can be a head melt. I just had a catch up today with his resource teacher and she says at the start of their sessions she sets a two minute timer and lets him talk away until the timer goes off.

Daisychainsandglitter · 20/12/2021 18:28

I've found my people. My DD with ASD loves to talk about her special interest. It's pretty much all she talks about. She's so busy talking at me she hardly ever realises that I'm just saying hmmm, oh that's nice etc.

IcedAbstinente · 20/12/2021 18:30

I get you! My Ds is currently obsessed with roblox, like most others. The two years he was obsessed about how balls are made was a little draining.

But I do like hearing the completely random things ASD kids get obsessed by. There was a terrific article in the NAS magazine about a young lady who adored Eddie Stobart lorries. I loved reading that.

I'd love to hear current obsessions from others!

Whatliesbeneath707 · 20/12/2021 18:31

I would ask him to turn it into a project & then ask him to present it to you. Could he create a book/Word document and a PowerPoint on the topic as a focus for his interest? Would this keep him occupied and interested?
It is also ok to say can we chat about something else now?

Newuser82 · 20/12/2021 18:35

@StillMedusa

I raise you a 5 year obsession with supermarkets across the world. Including the Stats on the major shareholders and expansion plans Grin DS2 also has learning disabilities, but he can read and his knowledge on his 'specialist topics' is incredible. And a 22 year obsession with Shania Twain (DS2 is 24 now and he literally became obsessed aged 2 and it has never waned)

I do have to tell him to stop, especially when he repeats himself endlessly, but it does fascinate me just how absorbed he is..I kind of envy that!

I’m so sorry but that’s really tickled me. A 5 year obsession with supermarkets around the world 😂😂. Bless him. X