If you go to bed early, how do you cope with having a short evening?

[jassixa]

Let’s say by the time you’ve got home, had dinner and finally sat down it’s half 7. How do you manage only have 2.5 hours to unwind before getting ready for bed at say 10, to fall asleep by 10:30?! Especially if you might have a job to do such as an online shop, doing some washing, replying to emails, writing some Christmas cards etc.

I’m currently getting to sleep at about 1. I know it needs to be sooner due to the horrific correlation statistics but I like my evenings!

I am interested in all ideas!

Concurrent activity, innit. Do the food shop on the train home, or in front of the TV at 7.30.

Spread your tasks over the week so there isn’t one long evening of them

Get a few bits done during the day

Lol at 10.30 being “early” to bed though, I love to be in bed at 9.30!

I’ve been going to bed a lot earlier than 10.30 since I had DD, that’s a late night here (in the week anyway, maybe not at the weekend).

I don’t really see it as something to cope with - I try to get jobs done at other times, and we eat dinner early again because of DD. I like to read in bed, or listen to a podcast or occasionally will watch some tv although I know that’s not great.

Well me personally, I’ve generally finished wfh by 4. So no commute. I go to bed around 9/9:30, read for a bit then sleep.

When I worked in an office, any admin type tasks I’d do either on the commute or during breaks. Things like putting a wash on, I’d do that in the morning before leaving for work. So in the evenings it was literally just cook, eat, flop! But I wouldn’t say it took me hours to unwind. Usually an hour watching something and then say half an hour or so reading in bed (which is what really relaxes me).

I literally don't have an evening as I put both kids to bed and then tidy the kitchen, put the washing on etc as quickly as possible whilst watching the baby monitor and normal having to go back and resettle at least once... then go to bed ready for the night waking and baby getting up for the day at 5.30. I now look back at the days you describe with longing!

Crikey, maybe I need to reframe my perceptions!

Why do you need 2.5 hours or more to unwind? Why are you so wound up? Sounds like need half an hour of intensive exercise to tire you out and gift you physical relaxation and sleepiness.

I do feel there’s an irony in that - if I had more sleep, I’d be more energetic in the (shorter) evening to do tasks.

I assume that people who go to bed early get more done in the early morning ?

@jassixa I'm the same as you, DC are in bed by 8, then there's stuff to do, bath to have etc. Even if that takes just an hour, it's 9pm at the earliest. I need/want at least a couple of hours after that.

I'm with you OP. I need time in the evenings to just be
If I came home from work at 6 / 6.30 & cooked, ate, cleaned up, sorted school uniform, sorted lunches & then went to bed I'd feel like I was literally living to work.

I do the tasks & at about 9pm it's my time. I might whatsap a friend or sibling.
I might read my book for an hour or two. I might chat to dh or watch a movie etc

I need to feel like I have a life outside of work & domestic drudge.

I aim to be in bed by midnight & I'm up 6.45 - that's plenty of sleep for me

I need time to myself too, a pause, a moment just to be, to remind me who I am. Not 2.5+ hours of it though.

My routine on long work days used to be:

5am Get up, shower, dress etc.
6am- Get kids up, bath them, dress them, etc.
7am Leave the house.

Commute and work day

6.15pm Get home, sort out bags, shoes, coats.
6.30-7.30pm Dinner, a load of laundry and load the dishwasher.
7.30-8pm Get kids changed and teeth brushed, quick story.
8pm- 9ish Watch TV or other wind down activity.

Housework on weekends/days off, also lots of meal prep, all the food shopping (online or otherwise), all socialising, all fun activities, etc.

I don't think that is uncommon, but I couldn't maintain it indefinitely, so I don't know how people do that forever with little kids. I had to go part time or burn out.

Crikey I'm generally in bed by 9 due to very early rising dc. Some night not sitting down until 7 after clubs etc. I don't really need hours to unwind, I'm generally knackered enough that I'll sleep

I always used to think I had to stay up late to get stuff done until I actually recorded what I did with my time after 9pm. Rarely anything constructive at all! Eg. One night I took an hour loading the dishwasher, which usually takes 10 minutes! It was just wasted time, lots of staring at screens and not much else. I do still do that sometimes, but I am no longer under the illusion I am up late for any constructive reason.

When I'm struggling with a sleep debt I need a lot of time to process my feelings and my day and plan my tasks and for things like that, but I've realised now that when I get enough sleep a lot of those things I don't need time for or need as much time for because they now seem to happen 'automatically'. I realise this is because life is much easier when functioning on enough sleep, and also that a lot of this 'processing' happens whilst we are asleep. Now if I feel I'm in emotional turmoil about something or struggling with a life or work decision, I get an early night and sleep on it. Often the problem is very easy to solve with fresh eyes. Other times I literally wake up knowing the answer. It's the magic of sleep.

I'm with you. DS eats dinner early, then bath and bed, then I cook our dinner, tidy up the mountains of toys, put the washing away and it's already 9pm. I stay up til at least 11.30pm to unwind and asleep by midnight usually then regret it every day as DS is waking up 3 or 4 times at night because of bastard teething.
Wish I could switch my brain off sometimes.

If I went to bed that late I wouldn’t get enough sleep. I’m in bed reading by nine and mostly laying down by ten ish.

2.5 hours to unwind?? Crickey, if i've been to work, done some exercise, had dinner, showered, washed up, made lunch for the next day etc etc and sit down by 9pm I think i'm doing well to get an hour or so before I go to bed!!

I go to bed early. I admit I have changed jobs recently and feel much less stressed and actually take my breaks now so don't really need to wind down.
I find I am much more focused when having shorter evening. I walk for 40 mins after work. Tend to do multiple jobs at the same time where as before lots of time was wasted on screens etc. Meal planning and pre also help. Also the fact that I do not mind my clothes being darked on in the summer helps

If I went to bed regularly at 1am, I'd either sleep through the alarm, or fall asleep at work.
So HAVE to go to bed before about 11, to allow me to function the following day. Even if it means stuff doesn't happen, keeping a job is more important.

I go to bed at 10, I have 2 hours after the kids are in bed to do stuff. I also wake up at 5:30am so have an hour or so in the morning to wake up and do jobs before the kids get up

I don’t think 10.30 is early. I think that’s about right for an adult although it’s a rare night I get to bed by then. I usually go to bed closer to 11.30. I get home from work by 6, cook dinner, watch something on tv with the family, hang out washing or some other job and still some time to relax. I occasionally stay up late til 1 or 2 but only when I don’t have to go to work the next day.

A “normal” bedtime for us is 10. If I want an early night I go as soon as possible after the baby is asleep (8ish) but as he still wakes up seventy million times a night I’m not getting as much actual sleep as I’d like!!

I read in bed to unwind and help me fall asleep - sometimes 10 mins sometimes 2 hours! But if I stay downstairs later then nothing extra gets done, I just get less sleep!

I can’t believe how little time some people seem to have in the evenings to chill out; once I’m home from school run at 3:10 I sit & watch TV until I make the dinner then husband does bit of washing & ironing, older kids do their own lunches/uniforms/school bags then we all just relax until we go up to bed together

Put washing on first thing and hang up to dry while you're at work (use the timer function if you have it e.g. starts at 5, finish by 7am). Online shop on train or in front of TV. Write cards instead of watching TV. I think 2.5 hours to relax is quite generous. It's normal to use part of the evening to do chores.

As soon as dinner is done my arse hits the sofa and I don’t do any other jobs. The day is done. Then I end up getting bored and going to bed to read esp if nothings on tv.