If you go to bed early, how do you cope with having a short evening?

[jassixa]

Let’s say by the time you’ve got home, had dinner and finally sat down it’s half 7. How do you manage only have 2.5 hours to unwind before getting ready for bed at say 10, to fall asleep by 10:30?! Especially if you might have a job to do such as an online shop, doing some washing, replying to emails, writing some Christmas cards etc.

I’m currently getting to sleep at about 1. I know it needs to be sooner due to the horrific correlation statistics but I like my evenings!

I am interested in all ideas!

@emmathedilemma

2.5 hours to unwind?? Crickey, if i've been to work, done some exercise, had dinner, showered, washed up, made lunch for the next day etc etc and sit down by 9pm I think i'm doing well to get an hour or so before I go to bed!!

maybe it's about that separation of "jobs" and wind down OP. Try and pack up the admin by 8.30 or 9pm and have a shorter but actual wind down.

I'm with you op! I need down time. Work, cleaning, adulting all feels relentless. I hate always feeling on the go and having things to do. I go to bed around 10 but usually rebel and stay up till 11 just to carve out some more time for me

@GingerbreadandJellytots

I always used to think I had to stay up late to get stuff done until I actually recorded what I did with my time after 9pm. Rarely anything constructive at all! Eg. One night I took an hour loading the dishwasher, which usually takes 10 minutes! It was just wasted time, lots of staring at screens and not much else. I do still do that sometimes, but I am no longer under the illusion I am up late for any constructive reason.

When I'm struggling with a sleep debt I need a lot of time to process my feelings and my day and plan my tasks and for things like that, but I've realised now that when I get enough sleep a lot of those things I don't need time for or need as much time for because they now seem to happen 'automatically'. I realise this is because life is much easier when functioning on enough sleep, and also that a lot of this 'processing' happens whilst we are asleep. Now if I feel I'm in emotional turmoil about something or struggling with a life or work decision, I get an early night and sleep on it. Often the problem is very easy to solve with fresh eyes. Other times I literally wake up knowing the answer. It's the magic of sleep.

You are so right, but I’ve never seen it written down like that, thank you!

I do know that, somewhat ironically, when I get enough sleep I find it easier to go to bed on time the following night. If I don’t, I don’t.

It's a tough one but I don't personally think 10.30pm is early to go to bed. To me, early would be 8ish. I am in bed by 11pm the very latest.

With regards to your question, DH and I tend to encompass down time with chores we need to do such as doing the dishes, washing up, laundry. For example; I did the online shop in my lunch break yesterday and did the laundry whilst watching TV. He'd wash up and tidy kitchen whilst I do bath & bed or vice versa. It's very extremely rare (non-existent atm) that we would get 2.5 hrs in the evening literally doing nothing but winding down. That would mean, as you say, pushing everything out and going to bed at 1am and it's just not possible for me / us as have to be up at 6-6.30am with toddler and for work.

It’s a very emotional/ MH thing too, when you’re feeling down you don’t want the day to end because you’re still looking for something to make you feel better.

I'm with you op. Before DS I used to watch TV or see a friend and be in bed for 10pm. Now it's sometimes 845 by the time DS is down, and I want to watch TV or a movie, I'm usually in bed 1130/12 and I need at least 8 hrs sleep.. so, it's killing me

I’m definitely in bed by 10pm, often by 8 tbh, to relax and read. Any night may be disturbed by children, last night my teen needed a drink of water at 3am; I’d hate to feel even worse the following day than I do now!

I usually sit down about 7 and maybe do jobs such as an online shop/emails etc until 8. Then I put my phone away and watch TV until about 10.40. Then I go to bed.
I go out once a week from 7-10.

At the moment, 3 of my nights I'm home about 6.30, the other nights I am home about at 7.30 due to different jobs... I noticed on the day I'm home an hour earlier I waste my time on social media thinking I have all this extra time and feel disjointed and unrelaxed.

I've taken my social media apps off my phone now to get myself into a better bedtime routine which is working (Mumsnet still my crux).

My aim now is to be getting ready for bed before 9, in bed reading from 9 until tired and ready to sleep. It is so easy to fall out of this routine but it works for me for feeling my best at work so I get myself back into the habit and notice a difference.

I am pregnant due in Jan so all gonna change but routines are so important for mental health!

2.5 hours daily is quite a long time when you have kids IME!

I find I'm not really done with dinner etc until more like 9. But I go to bed at about 11. That feels like enough time to me.

I have a husband who shares the workload with me.

This thread has just cemented my decision to not have kids 🙃 couldn't function without downtime in the evening, I'd go mental. Would be running on autopilot all the time and too tired/distracted/empty to give anything or anyone my full attention.

I’m probably in the minority but I get super early nights! I have a 3 and 5 year old and work a busy job so always tired and need 8-9 hours. I put my children to bed from 6.30 and they’re always asleep by 7.30/8. I eat with them at 5.30 and clean up/do jobs before we go upstairs. I then stay upstairs once they’re asleep and either watch/read something in bed. Im usually asleep by 9-9.30 and then awake at 6am.

@ShirleyPhallus

Concurrent activity, innit. Do the food shop on the train home, or in front of the TV at 7.30.

Spread your tasks over the week so there isn’t one long evening of them

Get a few bits done during the day

Lol at 10.30 being “early” to bed though, I love to be in bed at 9.30!

here too! On an early night I get into bed at the same time as the kids 🤷‍♀️

What time do you get up OP? I do loads before work (exercise and housework) but I get up at 5am. Trouble is with teenagers we are driving them from activity to activity in the evening so are stretched at both ends. Don't watch TV very often, and in bed by 10pm, DH stays up late 'washing the dishes' but he's actually doing very little washing but watching a lot of TV, if he leaves it till the morning it takes 10 minutes.

I'm a night owl. All the women I know who are early to bed, early to rise, have their 'me time' in the morning. As in, get up before rest of family, cup of tea alone with their thoughts/go for a walk/watch TV while styling their hair etc. Their morning routines fascinate me because I like to get-up and go.

I wfh, which has helped in terms of keeping up with things at home so I will put a wash on first thing in the morning when I come downstairs, then put it out an hour or so later, do admin tasks during down time at work or lunch breaks, etc.

I get up at 7, wake the kids up, shower, get ready, make packed lunches, empty dishwasher, feed cat and be at my table working by 7.30am so that i can finish at 4 to be present for the kids, go for a run, get dinner ready, have 30 mins in front of a quiz show or something.

By the time I've made and eaten dinner, etc its usually about 7pm but my DC are teens now so they do their own things in the evenings and I am on my own the rest of the evening! I actually find it quite boring as I don't like watching tv for too long (just get restless and bored) but I can't really go to bed until 10 as that's when the kids go and I don't trust them to turn all the lights off, etc.

I then read for about 30 mins and go to sleep 10.30-11pm.

I am a single parent and the evenings the dc are at their dad's I will go to my partners house.

I have never been a night owl though and am no use to anyone past 10pm. I am much more productive in the mornings!

I’m with you OP I need my me time in the evening when it’s dark and quiet and relaxing. To my mind it’s just as lazy to go to bed at 8pm as it is to get up at 10am but a lot of people judge nightowls as lazy

I’m with you, OP, I hate not having proper wind-down time in the evening when I have work the next day, and avoid arranging to do anything on weeknights for that reason. But I think 2.5 hours is fine, and pretty much have the same schedule as you: finish work/get home by about 5:30, two hours of chores, making and eating dinner and then relaxing on the sofa by 7:30-8, then I go to bed at ten.

I'm lucky if I get an hour or so after DD in bed. She often isn't asleep until 9, sometimes 8.30 (I'm not home before 7).

On WFH days I need to be asleep by 11, on office days it's 10.

I hate the feeling of the rat race, and think there's something a bit unbalanced when people are saying stuff like '2.5hrs in the evening is loads / generous', when the rest of the day has been spent running ragged around after other people / work etc.

I have no desire to be up at 5.30am for anything other than an emergency or the end of a fantastic evening!

I love the evening time and to me it's a pure waste to be in bed by 8 / 9 / 10pm. Getting an early night to me looks like being in bed for 11pm as it's more usually somewhere between 12 / 12.30am.

I hate the feeling that the day got swallowed up by obligations or stuff i have to do - work, look after family, housework, cooking, cleaning etc

I

I go to bed by 9/9.30 as I'm up early for work. I get very little life admin done during the week, any online shopping,etc ill do on the commute or lunch break. Washings etc done at the weekend

I'm everyday at 6.45am

up

I'm up every day around 430/5 - not that I want to be but that's life with kids 😂 I work full time often with travel so do what I can on the train - then by bedtime done for everyone it can be 730 - I could be asleep by 830! (Kids don't sleep through the night so got to take the wins when you can!) - I get online ordering done in any spare moments - 5 mins here or there or I'll get things ready on various baskets ready to checkout, could be 3am whilst settling a baby or 6am whilst grabbing a coffee. Washing machine might go on at 2am if a baby needs rocking - have been known to use it to get a baby off to sleep! , I spread jobs out over the week - I can't shower alone for more than 2 minutes so just don't get big chunks of time in which to get "life admin" done so it's all about efficiency and multi tasking