If you go to bed early, how do you cope with having a short evening?

[jassixa]

Let’s say by the time you’ve got home, had dinner and finally sat down it’s half 7. How do you manage only have 2.5 hours to unwind before getting ready for bed at say 10, to fall asleep by 10:30?! Especially if you might have a job to do such as an online shop, doing some washing, replying to emails, writing some Christmas cards etc.

I’m currently getting to sleep at about 1. I know it needs to be sooner due to the horrific correlation statistics but I like my evenings!

I am interested in all ideas!

Me and the kids are up around 6 (DH starts work at 5), kids in bed by 8, I'm in bed at 10, asleep at 10:30 probably, I don't really clock watch like that.

Sit on the sofa most evenings but rarely doing JUST that. Tesco shop, xmas wrapping, replying to emails etc. The most restful thing you can do to unwind is to go to bed, surely?

I exercise in the morning - we have 2.5 hours from getting up to going on the school run, so plenty of time (although this week for the first time in his life my eldest has been sleeping until 7:30, which is a shock!).

I hate the feeling of the rat race, and think there's something a bit unbalanced when people are saying stuff like '2.5hrs in the evening is loads / generous', when the rest of the day has been spent running ragged around after other people / work etc.

^^ agreed I think it's very sad

Finished your jobs and sat down by 7.30..... the dream!

I don't sit down until at least 8.30 and have to fight to stay awake past 9.30.... that's how I cope... I long for sleep

How much relaxing are you actually doing in the evening and how much time are you staring at your phone?

The nights I leave my phone in another room, I can get jobs done super quick and relax quickly. The nights I'm on my phone, I lrt myself get distracted and take ages yo do stuff. Then I find it hard to switch off and go to bed.

If you work 8 hours and sleep 8 hours that's 2/3rds of your time used up. Daily living tasks are going to take a big chunk of that, plus any commute time as well. If you've got 2.5 hours left you're doing well. If you have kids, then 2.5 hours of time after they are in bed really is lots. I'm not sure I had much more than that before I had kids

My routine is:

5.30am get up- me time
6.15am get 11yo DS up, shower and get ready for work. Make sure DS is ready for school (he leaves at 8am, but I have to make sure he is washed, dressed and packed before I leave or he might not!).
6.50am leave house to be at work for 7am
5.30- 6pm get home & feed DS/ make sure he does prep
6-7pm life admin
7pm me time
8.30-9pm we all go to bed

So I'm getting around 2.5 hrs down time and 1 hr of life admin and 8hrs sleep in a day around working 10hrs and looking after DS.

The saving graces are that DS is very independent so during the week I don't have to do much for him and I have a 10 minute commute.

@2reefsin30knots if you get up at 5.30 do you wake up raring to go? I think I’d feel awful that early.

😮🤣10.30 is a late night for me

DS in bed by 8. I'm in bed 9/9.30

@MynameisWa I've been getting up at that time or earlier during the week for over 11 years. DS was the sort of baby who thought the day started at 4.30am . It's just routine now.

I'm not exactly raring to go, but a bit of time on my own agenda before work is important to me. I'd feel worse if I woke up just in time to be ready for work and didn't get any time to myself beforehand.

I never understand people who say that they dont even sit down till 9PM, I mean why?

I finish work, travel home and start dinner immediately. I clean and tidy up as I go so once dinner is finished around 6.30pm it's just chucking bits in the dishwasher or washing up. Takes minutes. 3 kids bathed and in jammies takes maybe 20 minutes when they're little (mine are older now so they can shower themselves) and that's it. 7PM at the latest my arse is on the sofa relaxing.

I go to bed between 9PM and 10pm and read then up at 7am to shower, make lunches and start the day again.

Laundry is completed on a saturday inbetween other tasks/relaxing and the food shop is done online whilst watching tv.

Like, maybe you all need to get a bit better organised if you're spending hours and hours of an evening still trying to get sorted.

We have clubs and things of an evening as well, but I do some nights, DH does others.

Like today I wasnt home from work till 6PM, so we had a quick pasta bake meal. I was still sat down watching Hawkeye by 7.30pm.

@Nidan2Sandan did you not stay with your kids as they went to sleep?

We're in bed at 9/9.30 depending on what we have for tea.
When we get in at 6, it's quick tea for DS, teeth, book, bed. Then we have tea and off to bed.
I do all washing at the weekend and tidy the house as we go each day. I like shopping so do a proper food shop on Saturday while DH is at hobby, then I pick him up and head to my hobby while he unpacks and folds washing.

We're quite low maintenance though so don't mind if things dont get done etc

I guess everyone needs different amounts of sleep. Personally 10:30 would be a late night for me in the week! I'm generally in bed by 9 (often earlier currently as I'm pregnant) but I do then use that time to relax as I read in bed, normally trying to settle to sleep by 10:30. I wake at 6 or 7 during the week.
This routine will soon be completely different with the arrival of our first child!

I'm awake 5.30-6am and do any phone based life admin in bed before I get up for a cup of tea and morning rush with DC. I'm usually in bed by 9.30pm though and asleep soon after that.

I used to be a night owl, then I had DC. Now they're the night owls and I'm the early bird. I reckon I get a half hour in the morning and maybe an hour each evening. But my DC are a bit older at 10 & 12.

@luverlybubberly

I assume that people who go to bed early get more done in the early morning ?

Yes. I am one of these types. Up very early so I get many tasks done before 10am. I have nothing to do most evenings from 7pm (once youngest DC are asleep).

I remember reading that the 8 hr work day was devised on the premise of 8 hrs work, 8 hrs sleep, 8 hrs free time. But when you add an unpaid lunch break and commuting on, an 8 hr work period can easily become 11/12 hours. This is one of the reasons I think a 6 hour work day makes so much sense. Factor in getting ready for work, coming home and cooking. Then yes, people without kids may get 2 or 3 hours free time, those with kids will get less. I don’t know anyone working full time who gets a full 8 hours of free time.

Anyway, it’s gone 9pm, time for bed!

I go to bed at 8 my almost 2 year old feeds to sleep and I lay with him, usually awake doing stuff on my phone till between 9 and 10. then sleep (with a couple of wake ups) till 7-8am. I dont really find there's much I want to do in the evenings, I prefer day times to be out in the garden or out and about somewhere. on work days, I wfh and take an hour or hour and a half for lunch to potter round outside, that is my down time. I also have evenings 7-8 ish while DH has DS. DH goes to bed at 8 ish too. then gets up at 4 or 5am to cycle

Sometimes I don't even eat my dinner until past 9, I'm definitely a night person, I always have been, I'm up at 7 every morning but rarely go to bed before 11, I always find something that needs doing in the evening!!

I don’t even sit down until 11pm or later some nights.

Last night I finished work at 10pm. Tonight it was 8.15pm. Tomorrow it will be 10. Then I’ve got to get home, then attempt dinner. There is usually work to be done in the evenings and it’s unusual for me to get to bed without a 12.30-1am check in on the work emails to line things up for the morning. Then a shower before bed.

My teen dc go to bed at 11-11.30ish. Some nights I don’t see the younger dc at all.

My Dh is currently cooking dinner (it’s 9.35pm)

I know what you mean, need a good couple of hours of chill/nothing/sofa time just to feel human!

We are night owls in our house and often stay up until 1am/2am. Sadly we also have traditional and inflexible working hours and are up and out by 7am!

We run at this pace until we hit a wall and crash for 12 hours.

OP I don't go to bed as late as you but I don't understand how people go to bed at 9 & fit everything in.

I'm Laughing at this OP. Kindly.
You definitely need to reframe.

I was like you.

Then had two kids.

Then became single mum.

I get 0 evening now because my kids are so much in need of my time. This isn't over indulgence- I have a very mentally sick child who needs me constantly. I'm lucky if it's 11 when I get a moment. Thats good night too!

I get up at 6, shower and get ready for work. DCs are older so get themselves organised. I get a washing on early, do some tidying etc before I leave at 7 but the big jobs get done on the weekend.

@DressingPafe

I remember reading that the 8 hr work day was devised on the premise of 8 hrs work, 8 hrs sleep, 8 hrs free time. But when you add an unpaid lunch break and commuting on, an 8 hr work period can easily become 11/12 hours. This is one of the reasons I think a 6 hour work day makes so much sense. Factor in getting ready for work, coming home and cooking. Then yes, people without kids may get 2 or 3 hours free time, those with kids will get less. I don’t know anyone working full time who gets a full 8 hours of free time.

Anyway, it’s gone 9pm, time for bed!

Can you imagine eight hours of free time a day!!

Oh, the things I’d do!