Possible TW: Feel so sad seeing these videos circulated in the media of children smiling and cuddling their abusers

[Imam0]

Sorry if this is a trigger to anyone.
In recent months, with the tragic murders of children such as Arthur and Star, the media have released videos of them smiling and cuddling their abusers.. It makes me so very sad that children are so unconditionally loving and compliant to those adults that are supposed to love and care for them but do anything but.
My daughter was abused by her father and has supervised contact once a month, she is unbelievably compliant in a controlled setting, she shows him affection, initiates cuddles and kisses, yet this person was psychologically and physically abusive to her.
I just wonder why this happens and children are so consistently failed by the authorities for presenting as happy on the exterior when inside they're probably screaming.

Children need attachment, even if the choices of targets are less than perfect (or horrible).

Just from my own experience, which obviously wasn't bad enough to actually kill me, you learn to sort of separate the Bad Mum/Dad (or whoever else) from the Good Mum/Dad. Most abusers aren't horrible all the time, after all. It feels like two different people. You'll always be on guard, as you never know which one you're getting, but you can keep loving the good one while fearing and hating the bad one.

It's the unconditional love that makes me so sad