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Original poster

What makes a wedding fun or terrible

109 replies

nellly · 14/12/2021 19:28

I've read a few times on here about people hating weddings and finding them a chore.

I'm getting married next summer and would actually like people to enjoy themselves while they're there.

Here's what we've thought so far to make it a laugh but please tell me what it is the makes it a great day or a terrible day in case we've missed something!

  • no one is seated alone for food, single friends are invited to bring a plus one
  • 4 different options for meal so everyone has something they like
  • drinks tokens for free drinks so everyone has at least a few on us (without the option to take the piss which we saw at SIL wedding wirh open bar (unlimited free soft drinks)
  • massive cake with 4 different flavour tiers
  • it's in a venue near where we all live so no obligation to stay over except for my parents who are happy to spend the night in the hotel. Everyone else can share cheap taxis back within our city
OP posts:
SayAaa · 14/12/2021 19:50

Fun: really delicious food, reasonable timings, knowing what time food will be served, comfortable environment, other people I know attending, somewhere reasonable to stay nearby.

Less fun: very early start (11am for example), weekday wedding, long gaps between ceremony and the wedding breakfast, lame disco music that I don't want to dance to, not enough food or not nice food.

Original poster
nellly · 14/12/2021 19:50

@RavingAnnie

Make sure your guests are entertained, fed, watered and generally looked after all of the time. Don't have them waiting around bored and hungry and thirsty.

Don't treat guests with dietary requirements as either a second thought or left out altogether.

Yes good point we have one vegan and one gluten free guest and already liaised with them to check the options sounded suitable and they were happy.

We have a fair few vegetarians but there's plenty for veggies in main meal and buffet

OP posts:
Badbaddog · 14/12/2021 19:52

Just don’t make it overly elaborate so people feel they’re supposed to be impressed. Make it about love, not money.

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Weddings
Original poster
nellly · 14/12/2021 19:52

@Purplewithred

All the important things are above, I’d only add make sure people know it’s a paid for/free bar/whatever so they can plan.
Good point we will make clear that they're getting x amount of free alcoholic drinks, unlimited free soft drinks and that the rest is paid for.

The bar is reasonably priced and takes cash and card

OP posts:
Original poster
nellly · 14/12/2021 19:53

@Badbaddog

Just don’t make it overly elaborate so people feel they’re supposed to be impressed. Make it about love, not money.
We've gone with a nice, clean but homely venue so people Hopefully feel relaxed, we have a fair few families with kids coming.
OP posts:
Original poster
nellly · 14/12/2021 19:54

Will warn speech makers to keep it short!

Have put a lot of thought into tables to make sure people are with existing friends or at the very least are well suited.

No cringy singles table I used to hate that

OP posts:
CocoandCleo · 14/12/2021 19:56

A good DJ or band is key for me. I hate bands that only do one type of music or have singers who aren't used to doing weddings. When I wedding peters out in the evening and no one is on the dance floor it's such a damp squib!

AuntieStella · 14/12/2021 19:57

I wouldn't usually eat a main meal at 3pm.

Is that your/your families' norm though?

EnidFrighten · 14/12/2021 19:57

Make it about experiencing the day and being with people, not about producing a social-media worthy set of photos. It's much better to ensure people have enough to eat and drink, somewhere to chat and somewhere for a boogie than ensuring everything looks perfect. Hold it somewhere that doesn't cost a bomb to stay. Generally don't take things too seriously.

My least favourite thing is those pious weddings where you're supposed to cry at the bride looking pristine and everyone calls her a princess on her special day etc. Bleugh. They're always the same weddings where you don't get fed enough and the bar costs a bomb!

TerribleCustomerCervix · 14/12/2021 19:57

A convenient time and date. Booked around a weekend or bank holiday, great. On a Monday during term time? Much less convenient for the majority of people.

We’ve got an invite for a Monday wedding at the start of June next year and it’s gone down like a fart in a spacesuit amongst the wider family.

Nikita1709 · 14/12/2021 19:58

Ah ok. I thought it was choice on the day.

Capricopia · 14/12/2021 20:00

The biggest issue with weddings ime is having too long a lull while the couple have photos taken. Sometimes that can drag on for hours with very little for people to do. I would try to keep it to an hour max, and give people something to do while it’s happening - some combination of or variation on lawn games, a quiz, plenty of comfortable seating, lots of canapés, ‘task’ (like a wedding madlibs or Polaroid cameras to fill a guestbook) etc. just don’t leave people kicking their heels for 90 mins with a glass of warm Prosecco and nowhere comfortable to sit.

EnidFrighten · 14/12/2021 20:00

Veggie canapes are important too, I used to get uncomfortably pissed cos the fizz kept coming but you hardly get a look in on canapes as a vegetarian!

CMOTDibbler · 14/12/2021 20:06

As others have said, seating. I've been to two weddings this year, and in the 'hanging about bit' there was no social groupings of seating - this was a massive issue with terminally ill MIL.
Otherwise, enough food and drink. And non alcoholic drinks especially, I'm fed up of drinking tap water during the meal as theres no alternative or access to a bar.
During the dancing bit, its really nice to be able to sit somewhere you can chat without yelling.
If you are doing lots of reportage style photos, remember the photographer won't be so attracted to elderly rellies and they tend not to be moving round as much so less likely to be caught. My nephew was really upset to realise he ended up with just two group pictures with his grandmother in (out of the 1000 photos they got) as she died a couple of weeks later, but had got 50 of the brides brothers

Mancbear88 · 14/12/2021 20:09

I always like a rough timeline on the invite as I know what to eat in the morning. Plus if I’ve made a choice of food having that printed on the name card because I’ve 100% forgotten what I’ve chosen.
Otherwise a venue that’s an ok temperature, not much waiting around and the bar not being miles away from the music.

edin16 · 14/12/2021 20:09

One of the weddings I really liked was one that had a lovely basket in the bathroom with all the essentials in it that you wouldn't take yourself. Deodorant, combs, cheap flip flops, those gel things you put in your shoes ect.

I enjoy a pick n mix sweety stand at the end of the night.

A good soundtrack is a must!

Bad things I've seen...
Like pp's have said no long wait between ceremony and meal.

If you do have to have a long wait make sure there's plenty of food, and something that might be out of your control but I would insist on it is circulating the food in different directions. One wedding I went to the canapés only made it half way through the room.

Like the wait between ceremony and meal the wait while they turn the room round can also be really bad.

Legoisthebest · 14/12/2021 20:13

I personally can't stand a lot of the 'traditional' things people expect weddings. I think wedding dresses look ridiculous. I hate formal sit down meals. I hate things like discos/DJs. I hate having to dress up. I am not interested in alcohol.
The stuff like the speeches is just boring. And I think the costs involved are just crazy.
nellly if you were my friend/relative I would rather you don't spend money on all that nonsense. There are more important things that money should be spent on - a mortgage for a start. Money for the future.
Unless of course you are incredibly rich then this doesn't really apply Grin
If I had to go to a wedding - like really had to - I would like a BBQ and buffet style food, decent variety of non alcoholic drinks, no dressing up and stuff to 'do' like board games, giant Jenga/Connect 4 type stuff, crazy golf, croquet and a giant pile of Lego to build with.
But none of that will ever happen at a wedding will it.....sigh Grin

Whosaidthattt · 14/12/2021 20:16

Close up magician walking around during canapes and photos. Photo booth for later in the evening. This was one of the best weddings I went to!

MrPickles73 · 14/12/2021 20:18

I'd say the main thing is not taking it too seriously. A friend of mine who was getting married had so many demands that in the end we didn't go...

NoEffingWay · 14/12/2021 20:18

Watching with interest

Borisjohnsonshairbrush · 14/12/2021 20:19

A late night bacon butty/kebab van for the end of the night. Two weddings I have been to have these around 10pm-11pm great to get people to soak up the booze xx

soughsigh · 14/12/2021 20:21

For me, I hate it when it's one big function room with no enough seating so if you don't want to dance, you are forced to stand and shout at whoever you are conversing with. Plus you get turfed out when the staff turn it around from the meal to the dancefloor.

TheHolyPotato · 14/12/2021 20:23

For me it's the music.

okaythen123 · 14/12/2021 20:28

Take the cost of inviting random plus ones for people and give people the extra drinks tokens.

In 2 years you will resent having random people on your table plan / photo book.

People do not need to feel alone. If someone doesn't know anyone at the wedding. Seat them next to a friend or wedding party and let them know this person doesn't know anyone and if you could introduce them etc.

Clymene · 14/12/2021 20:32

@CMOTDibbler

As others have said, seating. I've been to two weddings this year, and in the 'hanging about bit' there was no social groupings of seating - this was a massive issue with terminally ill MIL. Otherwise, enough food and drink. And non alcoholic drinks especially, I'm fed up of drinking tap water during the meal as theres no alternative or access to a bar. During the dancing bit, its really nice to be able to sit somewhere you can chat without yelling. If you are doing lots of reportage style photos, remember the photographer won't be so attracted to elderly rellies and they tend not to be moving round as much so less likely to be caught. My nephew was really upset to realise he ended up with just two group pictures with his grandmother in (out of the 1000 photos they got) as she died a couple of weeks later, but had got 50 of the brides brothers
Oh that is such a good point about older relatives. The last wedding I went to, there are no photos of families outside of 6 photos taken outside the church as the reportage photographer focused on the hot younger guests. So apart from grandparents who were in one formal shot, none of the other many relatives featured at all.

And if you're inviting evening guests, make sure you've built in enough time. I was an evening guest at a different wedding and they were 1.5 hours late coming out of the meal. I was honestly ready to leave by the time they arrived.