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Original poster

DS19 never drunk alcohol and no interest

79 replies

GladysGeorgina · 12/12/2021 19:35

My DS19 is having a year out before uni, working to save some money. His friends who are at uni already seem to be having social lives involving alot of drinking. DS has never had any interest in trying any alcoholic drink. He prefers water! (unlike younger dd who is a lover of parties with plenty of cider) I am mildly concerned this will mean he struggles to fit in when he goes to uni next year. Anyone had any experience with teetotal teen offspring?

OP posts:
Original poster
GladysGeorgina · 12/12/2021 21:19

@PissedOffNeighbour22 I guess your brother's experience is my concern. I'd hate for him to feel pressured by others who think it's the only way to be. He has lots of interests and will be joining clubs/societies so hopefully will find his people.

OP posts:
Original poster
GladysGeorgina · 12/12/2021 21:21

I also realise he is 19 and needs to find his way, but I'm his mum and we never stop worrying about our kids being ok!

OP posts:
santasmuma · 12/12/2021 21:23

Mine doesn't drink but has settled in with similarly minded people. That's how it works.

Interested in this thread?

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19 years old
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 12/12/2021 21:24

Ds2 (23) and Ds3 (20) don’t drink. Ds2 not a drop, ds3 very occasionally. Ds1 is a binge drinker.

foxgoosefinch · 12/12/2021 21:25

I’m a university lecturer - this is quite common in that cohort. In fact all the student bars are losing money because this current generation of students don’t drink very much!

RosiePosieDozy · 12/12/2021 21:26

My brother has never drank much at all and didn't have trouble making friends at uni.

I do understand what you mean. When I was at uni (not really that long ago), there was a big culture of drinking and drugs. I'm sure he will find like-minded friends though who won't pressure him. Who knows who he'll meet. I wouldn't worry. Don't pressure him to become something he's not. It's a really good thing that he's sensible and true to who he is.

clarepetal · 12/12/2021 21:26

Am teetotal. Because I've never been pissed I've never missed it and happily got up on the dance floor,none of my friends questioned it, it doesn't have to be a problem.

GrandmasCat · 12/12/2021 21:27

He will be the designated driver and equally popular, or…

he will end up making friends with the very many teetotals around him (they abound nowadays) as he doesn’t want to be babysitting drunks.

VienneseWhirligig · 12/12/2021 21:27

My DS is 21 and whilst he's not teetotal, he can take or leave alcohol. He's not had any for probably 2 months now, last time was a couple of glasses of bubbly at my wedding anniversary meal when we toasted my late DH. He wouldn't have even had those if it wasn't for the occasion. It's quite common now amongst his friends.

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2021 21:31

My middle DS is 22 and just out of Uni.

He's never been very interested in drinking and nor has my 19yr old DS who is at Uni now.

According to them, weed is marginally more popular than alcohol in their Unis anyway.

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2021 21:31

My middle DS is 22 and just out of Uni.

He's never been very interested in drinking and nor has my 19yr old DS who is at Uni now.

According to them, weed is marginally more popular than alcohol in their Unis anyway.

Nomoreusernames1244 · 12/12/2021 21:37

Fucks sake.

I’m teetotal. It’s people like you who seem to think going out and not drinking is weird, and makes you boring and unfun, and therefore no one wants to hang out with you.

I socialize a fair bit. I ask for diet coke when out. Not a problem. Anyone who says anything like “oh go on, have a drink, loosen up, have a bit of fun” all fucking night I avoid after that.

No problem “fitting in”, i mean who arranges a night out and specifies if you don’t drink you’re not coming? He goes along like anyone else, drinks coke, has a good night, doesn’t put himself at risk through drinking too much, and goes home.

If people don’t invite him next time because he doesn’t drink, then that’s not a crowd he should be hanging out with.

Whatwouldnanado · 12/12/2021 21:42

Relax, this is definitely not an issue. Dd 20 first year uni is like this, other friends too. All v sociable, popular noemal etc. Long may it continue as far as I am concerned because she will save a fortune and protect her health. Must add no taboo about booze here at home, always a bottle open about the place etc, Dh and I drink alcohol but never to excess.

Original poster
GladysGeorgina · 12/12/2021 21:44

Actually I don't drink either. Haven't for many years and know very well you don't have to be pissed to have a good time. I'm not naive enough though to think there won't be people around who think you're no fun if you don't have a drink.

OP posts:
icedancerlenny · 12/12/2021 21:45

I’m 40 and have only ever drank water. As far as I’m aware no one thinks I’m a weirdo. People generally don’t even realise. I had a great time at university with the bonus of doing well as I wasn’t hungover for lectures.

GrazingSheep · 12/12/2021 21:46

My 21 year old dd rarely drinks, maybe 3 or 4 times a year. It’s never been any kind of issue for her.

NMC2022 · 12/12/2021 21:50

People don't always notice either
If he goes to the pub and is drinking a coke then people assume it's vodka and coke. Or order a non alcoholic lager
Out clubbing nobody again really notices what you're drinking and if they're drunk they're unlikely to notice he isn't!

santasmuma · 12/12/2021 21:59

'm not naive enough though to think there won't be people around who think you're no fun if you don't have a drink.

But these are not the kind of people your DS will want to be friends with anyway.

runningwithscissorsx · 12/12/2021 22:02

My son didn't start drinking until this year, he was 22 and like the OP child, he would only ever drink water ......

He's still not a big drinker - but the rare occasion he goes out, he makes up for it.

Mossstitch · 12/12/2021 22:18

Two out of three of mine don't drink, well youngest might have one or two at Xmas, all been to uni didn't stop them having friends. I work with quite a few young people, a lot of them these days are very interested in healthy eating and exercise, don't think it's that unusual not to drink. I also think they are far more tolerant of people's differences👏👏

Blossom64265 · 12/12/2021 22:28

Of course there are people who will think the non-drinkers are no fun. Why should he care. I’m not teetotal, but I find people who drink excessively boring. They don’t need to take it personally, we just aren’t a good match.

Iggly · 12/12/2021 22:29

Good for him.

AnotherOneWithNoGoodName · 12/12/2021 22:31

Loads of people don't drink. He's going to meet people from cultures that don't drink, people who just don't like, people who binge drink etc. Loads of circles to fit into if he wants to.
If people judge you for it, they are not worth befriending.
I was teetotal until I was 18 (no interest), and then again from around 22. No big deal. I still had fun with friends, even if they were all drinking.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 13/12/2021 00:48

[quote GladysGeorgina]@PissedOffNeighbour22 I guess your brother's experience is my concern. I'd hate for him to feel pressured by others who think it's the only way to be. He has lots of interests and will be joining clubs/societies so hopefully will find his people.[/quote]
If he's happy how he is I doubt he'll feel pressurised to conform.
My brother certainly didn't and it made him even less likely to have a drink.

He got a flat with a similar minded person in the second year but unfortunately Covid hit and it's cost a fortune to keep it but not use it.

bcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyza · 13/12/2021 07:34

You just described me, I don't drink I tried it at 18 hated the taste. When am out with friends I am the driver but don't mind. I happy with soft drinks.

I am now 35 and have discovered non alcoholic Prosecco which is nice. That's the closet I got to the real thing.

Not drinking won't mean won't mix in.