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Original poster

DS19 never drunk alcohol and no interest

79 replies

GladysGeorgina · 12/12/2021 19:35

My DS19 is having a year out before uni, working to save some money. His friends who are at uni already seem to be having social lives involving alot of drinking. DS has never had any interest in trying any alcoholic drink. He prefers water! (unlike younger dd who is a lover of parties with plenty of cider) I am mildly concerned this will mean he struggles to fit in when he goes to uni next year. Anyone had any experience with teetotal teen offspring?

OP posts:
SnowyWinterFox · 12/12/2021 19:49

I did not touch a drop until my late 20s and then it was as I had succumbed to peer pressure.

I wish I had never started to be honest. Alcoholisms runs in my family and I have a completely addictive nature. Thank fuck i never smoked or did drugs. I'd be dead by now. I am sure of it.

Sober is cool now anyway. And desirable besides.

Floralnomad · 12/12/2021 19:49

Neither of our children , who are in their 20s drink , it’s never affected their social life .

LondonWolf · 12/12/2021 19:51

I do think far less teens and young people drink now than used to. Maybe it’s to do with social media and the Internet? They don’t need to go out looking for interactions in person anymore - not sure how much of a good thing that is. Also more hobbies and interests available - loads of them into sport or gaming so stimulated in that way.

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19 years old
dchange · 12/12/2021 19:54

Can't see this to be an issue. It's his preference and true friends will accept.

Infact you should be proud as he knows what he wants and seems like he does not easily succumb to pressure. A good trait!!

Original poster
GladysGeorgina · 12/12/2021 19:57

@dchange I am very proud and would never want him to feel he has to change to fit in. I certainly haven't mentioned this to him.

OP posts:
EileenGC · 12/12/2021 19:57

I'm only a few years older than your son, I have never tried alcohol unless you count tiramisu or risottos.

I have great friends, a normal social life where I'm not seen as a pariah (we go out, the others drink, I don't, end of story) and I've never been 'ostracised' for not wanting to even try alcohol.

Would you be saying the same if he didn't like sandwiches, or if he chose to wear sandals all year long instead of trainers? Honestly, it makes not an iota of difference. If it does, he's got the wrong 'friends'.

Prescottdanni123 · 12/12/2021 19:59

I didn't drink much when I was uni. Settled in, had a group of close friends, had a brilliant uni experience etc.

dchange · 12/12/2021 20:01

Fantastic @GladysGeorgina. Can understand concerns from society perspective. But he has to be himself.

I have never had alcohol (no religious reason) myself, so understand.

HolidayTime2021 · 12/12/2021 20:03

My Ds 23 doesnt drink and didnt through uni. He doesnt like it

Northernsoullover · 12/12/2021 20:05

My teens don't drink. I think its lovely that they don't. They do socialise and have a nice group of friends. He'll be fine.

mumofthemonsters808 · 12/12/2021 20:09

If he was my Son, I’d be mighty proud of him, he”s not drinking alcohol to fit in, he knows it’s not for him, he’s not following the majority.It really isn’t a bad thing, some of my worse decisions when younger, were fuelled by alcohol.At University he”ll find people with a similar mindset.

Original poster
GladysGeorgina · 12/12/2021 20:24

Thanks everyone. Really reassuring. I was at uni in the early 90s and there was a real drinking culture which wasn't very healthy. It's not bothered him before, infact he ended up driving colleagues home from his work Xmas meal last night which he said was highly entertaining!

OP posts:
Titsywoo · 12/12/2021 20:25

My DD doesn't drink and she has been left out a bit at college but only by one friend who is a dick anyway. Noone else cares and drinking is not as big as it was when we were teens. I'm glad DD doesn't drink tbh as looking back it brought nothing good to my life even if it seemed fun at the time!

Crazykatie · 12/12/2021 20:33

No point drinking if you don’t enjoy it, I only ever have one drink to be sociable but I’d rather have a glass of water, so I’ve always been a cheap date LOL.

Don’t worry about him but do remind him that even if he has a soft drink it can be spiked

KeyErro · 12/12/2021 20:37

It's quite common among this age grouo not to drink alcohol they all smoke weed and take ketamine instead

AChickenCalledDaal · 12/12/2021 20:38

My 19yo is tee total. They find the drinking culture at university frustrating and freshers week was a bit difficult. But they have made several like minded friends and have a decent social life mostly focused on societies rather than parties. They also attended their first ball this year (very traditional university) and had a great time despite the fact the photos I've seen look very much not their kind of thing. So it seems to be going OK.

dubyalass · 12/12/2021 20:38

I didn't drink at uni 25 years ago when the awful ladette culture was everywhere, but nobody I was friends with gave a shit. My friends weren't big drinkers either (they liked other stimulants) so there was never any pressure.

I do think CrazyKatie's point about spiking is important though. There will always be one twat who thinks spiking is funny so I'd warn your DS to never leave a drink unattended.

escapingthecity · 12/12/2021 20:46

DH grew up in a notoriously boozy city and has never ever shown any interest in alcohol at all. He has been teetotal all his life. Never done him any harm.

Comefromaway · 12/12/2021 20:51

My Ds is autistic and doesn’t like alcohol. He did try peach schnapps in an attempt to fit in but it didn’t last long as he admitted he didn’t really like it.

He enjoys being sober when others are drunk.

gmailconfusion2 · 12/12/2021 20:53

I was the teatotal teen, still am at 34. Didn't see the point. Saved loads of money at uni, still went out dancing (don't have self esteem issues which helped)

DustyMaiden · 12/12/2021 20:53

My DS is 21 currently at uni, never tried alcohol. He has his group of friends, some drink some don’t.
I think it is far more accepted in their age group than it is in mine. I don’t drink either.

LowlandLucky · 12/12/2021 20:56

My Brother had a can of lager when he was 15, hated the taste and has never had another drink in the last 40 years. He was in a famous band, had a great social life, partied with some real megastars that are renowned for hell raising, he still got invited to parties. I don't think it will make a difference to your Son. Good on him for not following the crowd.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 12/12/2021 21:03

My little brother is at uni. He's teetotal and has a GF and friends who are the same. No issue.
The problem he did have is the dickhead flatmates he had in year 1 who were all massive drinkers and drug takers. He hated it and almost left as they made his life hell.

Ironoaks · 12/12/2021 21:06

DS is in his second year at university. He isn't intentionally teetotal, just doesn't like the taste of alcohol. He drank one glass of wine in the first week (included as part of a formal dinner) but no alcohol since.
When he goes out with friends he orders soft drinks.

HidingFromDD · 12/12/2021 21:15

Way more common now than it used to be. Neither of mine (mid 20s) drink much at all. There’ll be plenty of others there who don’t drink much either