Can a man answer this for me?

[Whoopsiee]

Hi all

I’m a married female in her early 30s with young children. I basically live in my pyjamas, never get dolled up and hardly get dressed either. Don’t get me wrong, I do take a shower and I’m clean, brush my hair and look put together but all the whilst wearing pyjamas or loungewear. Between maternity leave and working from home I’ve just never felt the need to get dressed up, even at weekends I don’t bother. It’s more so because I’m simply not into it anymore. If I get any spare time between general house chores and child related stuff then the last thing on my mind is putting on make up or a nice outfit.

Anyway, the question is… how do men feel about this? Am I being naive in thinking my partner doesn’t mind or should I be putting in more effort to impress him and keep the relationship alive. I know it depends on each individual and relationship but generally do men prefer their ladies to look nice?

I know my partner would definitely prefer me to put more of an effort in, I feel like I’ve become a lazy slob who’s just not investing in her relationship anymore. I get help around the house and with the kids so it’s not like I don’t get that little spare time to do it but I can’t bring myself to bother?

Sorry rambled a bit.

Whether a reverse or not, the mindset of "I get help around the house and with the kids so it’s not like I don’t get that little spare time to do it " seems incorrect to me. If your DP is a parent then it's not that he graciously helps a little so his DP has time to pretty herself up and show some skin, he should be parenting not helping. He should be doing housework if he lives in the house, not helping.

You don't have to get dolled up but getting dressed, putting on a bit of make up and getting out and about can do wonders for mental health and confidence. My husband sees me in pjs and no make up but also sees me dressed, with make up done. I don't think he's bothered what I wear but I think it's nice to make the effort. And the effort isn't for him, it's for me but he benefits from it.

And if a reverse, even if the DP works, this would usually be 5 days a week. Depending on age, children need care 7 days a week, and usually with broken sleep for the carer if very young children. Does the 'help' the DP graciously offers mean any broken sleep is truly split 50/50? Is the amount of free time split 50/50? Or is this a tired and possibly depressed mother of young children with a halfwit, selfish, lazy partner who expect this mother to 'show some skin' when she's not running around after children?

Lol

Hi all,
Many thanks to those MNers who reported their concerns about this thread. Unfortunately as you can see, several posters derailed it with trollhunting so we have made deletions. From our perspective, we can see that this poster has been with us a fair while and posted a good amount with no issues, so while we can never say 100% it does look like the trollhunters may have been barking up the wrong tree.
We would reiterate that the only way to avoid these situations is to report the thread (and hide it if you believe you will be tempted to troll hunt) as commenting on the thread so can make a bad situation much worse.

Well my husband's getting me a new dressing gown and slippers for Christmas.

He said he doesn't want me showing him up in Tesco wearing my old scruffy ones...

Did ye aye