Can a man answer this for me?

[Whoopsiee]

Hi all

I’m a married female in her early 30s with young children. I basically live in my pyjamas, never get dolled up and hardly get dressed either. Don’t get me wrong, I do take a shower and I’m clean, brush my hair and look put together but all the whilst wearing pyjamas or loungewear. Between maternity leave and working from home I’ve just never felt the need to get dressed up, even at weekends I don’t bother. It’s more so because I’m simply not into it anymore. If I get any spare time between general house chores and child related stuff then the last thing on my mind is putting on make up or a nice outfit.

Anyway, the question is… how do men feel about this? Am I being naive in thinking my partner doesn’t mind or should I be putting in more effort to impress him and keep the relationship alive. I know it depends on each individual and relationship but generally do men prefer their ladies to look nice?

I know my partner would definitely prefer me to put more of an effort in, I feel like I’ve become a lazy slob who’s just not investing in her relationship anymore. I get help around the house and with the kids so it’s not like I don’t get that little spare time to do it but I can’t bring myself to bother?

Sorry rambled a bit.

If you want a man’s opinion on MN you should post in the SexTopic that’s where most of them hang out.
I think it’s reasonable expectation for people to get dressed and out of their nightwear daily . Male or female.

I don’t know if you have children? But if you do just get dressed! It’s a bad example to be setting them in your PJs all day.

Personally I wouldn't be worried or bothered. In fact being a tight git I would be impressed with the money saving going on by not buying/using makeup and expensive perfumes all the time.

But yes getting out of night wear and being able to actively partake in life by going out is important to me.

Eh? There is a wealth of options between pyjamas and loungewear, and figure hugging clothes that show skin.

@MistySkiesAfterRain

Eh? There is a wealth of options between pyjamas and loungewear, and figure hugging clothes that show skin.

Exactly. Jeans and a jumper for me most days! Plus a very attractive bobble hat and a waterproof if we’re going out. Pretty much the same for dh.

Being dressed is important. What you’re wearing is up to you.

@Whoopsiee

I knew I’d get a few comments about not asking random men on the internet but I want to know generally if it’s true that a man likes to see some nice figure hugging clothes and perhaps some skin showing on his lady?

Well you just said you know your partner would so not sure why you're asking.

My dp spend all his time in football kit manky work clothes, or pjs and it doesn't bother me. I rarely get dressed up unless we are going somewhere, I wear leggings and sports clothes for work and lounge wear at night, don't think my partner cares.

Do you never go out though. You said pjs and loungewear, don't you ever stick on proper clothes to go to the shops etc?

How does he put effort into keeping you attracted to him?

I'm just confused about the npt getting dressed at the weekend - don't you go anywhere ?!

Ooh are you one of those mums who takes kids to school in her pjs? Seriously though it does sound like you are a bit depressed. Rather than dressing up for some else, do it for yourself. Each morning put on a ‘day outfit’ jeans or leggings and then take yourself and your kids for a walk around. Fresh air and a change of scenery is good all round

This is very weird. In my experience, women tend not to refer to themselves as 'a female'. If you are a kosher poster then I'll say all men aren't a hive mind. Some will mind, some won't but I don't see how it's good for your mental health to wear pajamas all day.

You do sound tired and a bit depressed

Get changed today into some nice clothes and put on some mascara and lip stick and see if you feel more empowered and if it puts you in a different mindset.

Give hubby lots of hugs later it sounds like you both need a cuddle

Its not just anout him. No need to be very tight fitting clothes. Unless that's your usual style.

Get up. Have shower. Get dressed.
Options for this time of year:
Jeans, tshirt
Jeans blouse
Jeans, vest top, jumper
Dress, tights, top, jumper.
Skirt, top jumper, tights

Dont over think it. I get the impression you think you have to go all out - kate middleton / kardashian or its not worth the bother?

Getting dressed in the morning is a vital part of a healthy life. 10mins in shower. 5mins getting dressed. 5 mins makeup. I use maxfactor powder compact, smear of lip gloss and mascara.

You tube has a lot to answer for! Its made it seem so complicated that pp are opting out of it.

You can wesr fluffy socks in house to give you the comfort feel but still be dressed for day.

You don’t need a man to answer this.

If your husband is also slobbing around the house, not shaving his boat, not bothered to get out of his pyjamas, how would you feel about that? Because that’s probably how he feels about you.

When my kids were very small, doing my hair and makeup was not my priority. I looked after them and the house, and if I had any free time I prioritised sleeping. Followed by resting and watching tv. Making an effort to look good or exercise was way down the list - my mental health came first.

Almost sounds a bit like depression rather than anything else.

What @Bluntness100 said 🤔

Delphinna, thats hardly a positive message to give OP.
She should get dressed. And go out.
Parks, playgroups, baby groups, supermarket, shopping malls, museums, art galleries, toddler swimming, soft play etc.

Get some lounge wear, e g jogging bottoms and sweater sets for the day time. Weekends could be leggings with tunics. Still comfortable but not in your pyjamas all of the time. I'd be put off if mine wore pyjamas all day, all week. I'd think, make an effort.

Female here. Do you go out in your PJ's? Or do you not really go anywhere. What about if you have a visitor, or a Tesco delivery do you still stay in PJs? I would say there may be nothing wrong with it per se but it's not the norm and if it was someone I knew who never left the house or got dressed I'd be worried there was something underlying they should see the GP about. I think the situation with the DP isnt about 'a man likes to see his woman dressed up showing skin' it's more telling that you wrote that you don't put the effort into the relationship anymore. Maybe the relationship is the reason you don't feel the need to bother getting dressed each day if it's bringing you down? Do you like it this way or would you prefer to have more motivation to get ready in a morning?