58 yo woman plots to overthrow the government

[shakingmytambourineatyou]

Right. I am now so sick of just about everything, the plots, the lies, the policies, that I am thinking of nipping down south (if there are any trains/tubes) and overthrowing the government. What will I need? Should I take sandwiches?

Can we have a transparency law that all politicians have to wear the logos of the companies that sponsor them, like in Formula 1?

I'm already in position down south, ready to take over, and I'll be Minister for Immigration so I can finally sort out the Windrush compensation scheme.

I'd like to simplify the citizenship rules, so that the Home Office no longer makes a mint out of charging citizenship fees to children who were born here and have lived here all their lives.

Maybe we should all meet on the M25, then march into Westminster from there, that way we can sweep up all undesirables in our wake. Anyone want to man a detention centre? All positions regardless of party could be deposited there. Would have to be somewhere we can't hear them shouting at each other though. Heathrow? That looks like it could be empty by Christmas again.

Are you planning an international brigade? I could hop on the Euostar to join, with a couple of kg of Belgian chocolates.

Who’s doing the NHS? Can I help? I’m 63 so am becoming a Heavy NHS User and have very strong opinions and am happy to express them very loudly.

One stipulation is that everyone with a private pension has to work for two years for the NHS or Social Services before they can have their cash. If they are clever they can sort it out and if they are stupid or nasty they can do a very menial job that is hard work and puts them at the beck and call of nice people for almost no money.

Am I in?

I've got a spare room you can bunk down in.

@Purplewithred you can take the NHS as long as you promise to de-politicise it's funding (after giving it a massive increase and stopping /reversing the privatisation)

Can I come? I'll bring my "Down with this sort of thing" placard

Sorry @shakingmytambourineatyou and @Purplewithred that post was a bit bombastic, I shouldn't be imposing policy without consultation. Passion got the better of me.

May I offer some conciliatory biscuits to make amends?

@JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon we actually have a 'down with this sort of thing' placard (made from a stolen estate agents sign) down the side of our shed.

I shit you not

Revolution you say? I'm in. I'm a social media marketeer, so could do something in comms. I'll bring gin and posh M&S chocs. Where are we meeting?

[quote ablutiions]@JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon we actually have a 'down with this sort of thing' placard (made from a stolen estate agents sign) down the side of our shed.

I shit you not [/quote]
Good because I just remembered that I left it on the railings at Parliament Square last time I used it.

Does it say careful now on the back?

Has anyone bagged Lord Chancellor yet? I quite fancy that.

Not Chancellor of the Exchequer, I'm rubbish at sums.

Maybe I'll go for leader of the house if lord chancellor is taken

Just pulled into Euston saw a few people on the platform with Docs, placards and menacing looks. Just going to join them as obviously part of the new government. Should be at the Commons by 12.
15 to hold our own PMQs. New PM are you on your way. See you there reformers

I can bring Pringles and butterfly buns. And fireworks if required - you need a good firework display at every revolution. I saw a film about it once. Put me down for justice minister!

I can bring massive Sloggis to use as our Judgey Pants flags.

I recently explained the meaning of 'integrity' to 11 year old DD, so she is now infinitely more qualified to govern our country than the current bunch of cash-trousering weasels. Perhaps she could set up our Youth wing?

I'm in my 20s. Can I come too? You can use me for running around, although I'm not as fit as my age would suggest

My 8yo would make a great assistant @FolornLawn. Her role models are the suffragettes. She might insist on it being called the Ministry of Magic though .

We have surpassed all expectations already with the standard of applicants and supporters. some excellent candidates and ideas. I have read them all. Unfortunately, it's not making me feel any better.
I do think the nurse with a pony to shit on the doorstep is going to be my deputy.
Also, yes, Keir Starmer can stay as opposition because let's face it, he is no threat.

58 too.
Do a very good hard stare. Can I come.

@AwkwardSquad

Mind you, I’ve just checked the train fares for travelling today from my part of the north… could our new minister for transport take a look at affordability, please?

@AwkwardSquad yep, on it. Hoping that in conjunction with the MNer in charge of climate change policy, we can make public transport work and be affordable!!

[quote ablutiions]@Purplewithred you can take the NHS as long as you promise to de-politicise it's funding (after giving it a massive increase and stopping /reversing the privatisation)

[/quote]
Joking aside I really bloody wish you lot were able to do this.

How depressing that a load of sensible women that could easily take on this lot and win and make the place better are stuck behind keyboards. And this bunch of utter self serving twats are in power.

Im in despair.

I am in. I don't mind just making the tea. Although I wouldn't mind a post as Minister for Actually Making Sure Laws On Disability Access Are Fucking Enforced.

I've just written to my MP to ask for the present incumbent's resignation. Hopefully he will be packing his bags by the time we arrive, but I'll bring some toy buses and playdo to distract him just in case.