Way back in the late 80's my family had a SS referral based on my older sibling confiding in a friend that she was beaten. Friend then told her mother who told SS. Sibling was removed from school by SS and a specialist policewoman, and interviewed before DM and DD even was aware.
Happily, in our case, my DPs were willing to work with SS, and took on board that the physical punishments they meted out as a first resort had to stop. They never hit us again and used normal methods of discipline from that point on. The DPs my younger siblings remember and the ones us older ones remember are like two different sets of parents. Life changing, and in a good way, for us DC. Because DM and DD did genuinely love us, did genuinely want us to turn out well, the SS intervention for them was a massive, unwelcome, terrifying and intrusive wake up call where they had no option but to shape up as parents or lose us.
These days, parents would intimidate or scoff at those two angels who were our voice. They'd abuse them and make them too afraid to set foot inside the door. They would be threatened and unable to speak to a child alone. And we would have been just another family of damaged souls either remaining victims of abusive homes or possibly perpetrators. But in our case, in the country we lived in, and at the time, the authorities didn't give a fuck about parental feelings or rights. Their priority was a child at risk, and it was a child-centered approach. I don't know how we've migrated away from that so much where what the adults want takes centre stage.
So here's what I think I'd like to see, based on my own experiences:
I would like to see a system where Arthur's grandmother could have taken him to a healthcare professional trained in child abuse, for an extensive check, well away from a scary parent, before any coaching can take place. Similar to SARC centers, but specific to child abuse. That theoretically I should be able to turn up with my GC/niece/other relative for a full independent check and not be threatened with a kidnap charge for trying to help a child.
I would like to see unannounced visits to the home. And a detailed look at the living conditions of all the children, and know all and any red flags to spot. Where all children spoken to away from their potential abuser, before any coaching can take place by SS workers who are extensively trained and have a manageable case-load. Where police attend if there's a possibility of things kicking off. Where the welfare of the child is the only thing that matters. Not rights or feelings or any of that. Just child welfare at the very heart of it all.
The sibling I mentioned above? Now divorced from her abusive H (see the generational effect there?), her DC are by law forced to visit their DF despite him having moved in with a stepmother who a)barely knows them and b) already told them she hates them and has been verbally and emotionally abusive to them and egging on an already abusive dad to physically abuse them. They are 'othered' in the home they spend 50% of their time in many ways other than the violence. Treated differently to the stepmother's children. And the law is on the fathers side. Any reports my sibling tried to make was treated as malicious towards her ex.
The saving grace is that the DC are mid teens so have somewhat of a voice and are refusing to go to their dads - and we hope that their voice is enough for a judge to give them permission to not see their dad any more. There's already a strong possibility that one of them is a sitting duck for an abusive relationship, and another has the potential to be an abuser themselves given the anger issues they already display - luckily they are all getting great counselling and have been for some years so I only hope it's enough to break the intergenerational acceptance of chaotic home lives.
But we all need to be nosy. We need to stop telling ourselves that maybe we are only seeing a snapshot. Or that shitheads are great dads when they fall so short of the basics a parent should do. My DM called that friends mother all the names when she found out she had been reported by her to SS. Even now, she dislikes her but you know what, I think that woman is fucking brilliant and if I ever get the chance to meet her and tell her that her picking up the phone changed my life, I will.