Food at childminder's and the rest of the day

[Serena1977]

The childminder I use for after school says that children only need 1 hot meal a day so if their mindee has a school dinner, the child will get a sandwich for tea.

My children, dd in year 5, 9years old and ds in year 4, 8 years both have school dinners so at the childminder's they get a cheese or ham sandwich made with 1 slice of bread and one piece of fruit of their choice.

Both children are normal weight according to BMI on NHS website.

So today, children had wholegrain cheerios for breakfast, school dinner and the above from childminder's. I don't think this is enough food but my relationship with food is terrible and I am currently obese.

Is this enough food? They say they are hungry when at home in the evening, tonight I gave in and did them beans on toast (1 slice of bread each) at 6.30pm.

They eat like gannets at the weekend.

Can you advise please?

I don't understand how you don't have enough time from 5.30pm. It takes 15 minutes to make a hot meal. Fish fingers, chicken gougons , lamb or pork chops, burgers, macaroni cheese, etc etc. Buy ready made mash.and. pre cut veg which are both very inexpensive and you can have a hot nutritional meal on the table with minimal prep in 15 minutes.

@theleafandnotthetree

OP a good hot evening meal, especially at this time of year is such a basic and obvious requirement and ritual for children, indeed for the family that I find your attitude perplexing. How did you miss this memo? To sit around the kitchen table and share a meal together is a bit of extra work but one of the cornerstones of family life. As children gets older it gets even more important as with teenagers, it can be one of the few points of real interaction in the day. And all that aside, they are justifiably hungry, feed the poor things!

This. I also think it’s important for OPs DCs to see her/their father eating healthy meals too.

Is this a serious question?

Of course your children are hungry....feed them.

Have you asked the childminder to give them a hot meal?
Regardless of what she thinks, if your request is a hot meal, then that is what she should give
If she doesnt, you could think about getting a new childminder

If shes good with everything else and you would rather keep her

You could feed the kids when you get home, u could give them something like:

Pasta with tuna or cheese or a sauce with veg

Crackers and cheese with cucumber

Scrambled eggs on 1 slice of brown bread

Yogurt, grapes, carrot, cucumber , Tomatoes, raw peppers, and babybel with hummus

Is the childminder paid to provide a meal or a snack? You need to clarify that.

Your children need more food.

Breakfast could be cereal/porridge, toast and fruit- mine have dried prunes/apricots. Glass of milk. It's an important meal.

My 7 year old shows me how small school lunch portions are. They will get a child through, but not a main meal. 4 year old who gets them comes home starving and has toast and fruit for a snack.

Dinners- lasagna, chilli, spaghetti Bol, pasta bake, chicken drumsticks, curry, roast. A light meal is j potatoes or pizza.

Kids can eat a lot (of healthy foods) and have a balanced diet and still be slim, active and a good weight.

From everything I’ve read about helping kids develop healthy eating habits, offering them healthy choices and letting THEM choose how much they get to eat is the key, encouraging them to listen to their bodies etc. For what it’s worth, that amount of food wouldn’t keep my 3yo going! She had bowl of porridge for breakfast, crackers & pear morning snack, ham and cheese sandwich & bunch of cut up veggies for lunch, huge yogurt for afternoon snack, load of chicken, eggplant, rice, pita for dinner. She can easily eat more than I do if she’s hungry. And only one hot meal a day, who does your child minder think they are?!

We’ve hit mn bingo already:

Crudités ✔️
Hummus ✔️
Wraps ✔️

The saviours of all food problems….

You have a major childminder problem. She is being lazy and if you're paying her to provide their evening meal then she is failing your kids.

My child has a school meal and also a home cooked meal every night and she does not have a food issue or weight issue.

Perhaps your childminder needs reeducation that school meals are provided free because it's sometimes the only hot meal a child will get. NOT that they should only get one per day!

In fact I'd be considering reporting her as that's borderline abusive.

I think the childminder might be trying to save a bit of money I am sorry.

FWIW when my kids went to CM they had a snack when they arrived, and I then made a proper meal when we got home at about 5.30. (She lived literally around the corner from us so no travelling time) I made what I could in advance, so I could walk in and get the meal on the go, and often used a slow cooker. There are lots of meals you could batch cook, cook in advance or make quickly. Unless you are paying her to provide a meal, not a snack then it's up to you to cook in the evenings. All of this should have been sorted out when you chose her to look after your kids. If she has other kids do they do the same? You can't really expect her to feed them a hot meal unless you have discussed it. I was cooking for me and /or DH, so why is it difficult to cook for your children?

Because the childminder has been going on about kids should only have 1 hot meal a day, so I thought that was the norm and obviously the reason why I'm obese

I keep seeing this over and over and it doesn't make any sense. The temperature food is served at has nothing to do with how nutritious, filling or calorific it is and I don't understand why people see the need to limit the amount of hot food they eat in case it is 'too much'.

I almost never eat cold food by choice and the hot food I do eat is almost certainly better for me than the type of cold food a lot of people eat like sandwiches, crisps, cakes, sugary yogurts, cereal, biscuits etc.

But yes you need to clarify whether the small sandwich and fruit is supposed to be an after school snack or a proper meal, but I'd be surprised if it's supposed to be the latter if you're picking them up at 5.30, because it's early, and it's probably a lot to fit in with the school run and being picked up by parents.

If you struggle with having food ready when you get home, then a slow cooker, batch cooking or quick and easy food like omelettes, stir fries, baked potatoes (start off in the microwave then crisp up in a hot oven) or any of the other suggestions on here are your friends.

Something like an veg omelette Iloilo jacket potato would be better. Something light is fine

They need dinner at home!

No wonder they’re hungry.

OP, you're obviously struggling and have your own issues, otherwise you wouldn't be a mother of a 9 YO, yet seemingly unaware of typical children's eating patterns.

You say your DH works shifts so isn't at home for dinner every other week. So does that mean that when he's on the early shift, he's at home from mid afternoon? How about during those weeks, he plans and cooks dinner, to put less pressure on you when you're (presumably) collecting them from the childminder on the way home from work at 5.30?

@Michellebops

You have a major childminder problem. She is being lazy and if you're paying her to provide their evening meal then she is failing your kids.

My child has a school meal and also a home cooked meal every night and she does not have a food issue or weight issue.

Perhaps your childminder needs reeducation that school meals are provided free because it's sometimes the only hot meal a child will get. NOT that they should only get one per day!

In fact I'd be considering reporting her as that's borderline abusive.

Goodness, what a ridiculous thing to say. Borderline abusive because they get a sandwich after school? Get real.

You could just as easily end up going the other way and overfeeding them with a school dinner, sandwiches after school and then another hot dinner. It depends hugely how active they are, particularly in the evening, but I'd tend to suggest a smaller snack at the childminder's then a proper meal at home. Mine used to have their dinner at the childminders, but I picked them up at 6.30pm.

You could easily do a stir fry, or quick curry in 15 mins, or fajitas, or do something like a casserole in the slow cooker. It's what I did when mine were young. My husband worked shifts, very odd hours and sometimes really long days, but he still did his share and I would make sure he had a meal if he needed it too.

You're letting your food issues cloud your judgement.

Your children are 8/9 years old and need much much more than a slice of bread, some cheese and piece of fruit in the evenings.

If you pick them up at 5.30 surely that's three hours or so to go until bedtime? So I'm afraid I don't understand why you can't cook a meal in that time.

Nobody is saying you have to do a roast dinner, but you can do soup with bread and butter, a toasted sandwich, beans on toast, jacket potatoes with various toppings, pasta with various toppings or even just pop a pizza or fish fingers in the oven.

None of those dishes take longer than 15-20 minutes and you can have them cooking while you're doing homework or bath time etc.

Abusive to be given a sandwich? Comedy gold

I was a childminder for 24 years.
I provided breakfast and lunch and children who were collecting before 6pm all had a healthy nutritious snack after school and went home for an evening meal with parents.
Any children who were collected later ate an evening meal with me and my family.
(One child had a bus driver for a mum and often she’d call for him as we were eating and would be invited to join us too)
Collecting at 5.30 gives you ample time to make a meal in my opinion.

OP in the nicest way possible i think maybe you need to consider some counselling to deal with your own issues with food? It’s clearly clouding your judgment on how to deal with your own children’s eating habits. It sounds like you’re going the opposite way to your mum and under feeding your Children out of fear of them becoming obese. Having more than one hot meal a day won’t make you obese. Making poor food choices and eating too much non nutritious food will. Maybe look into a course on food and nutrition to help you understand balances diets better and alleviate your fear of your children eating too much.

I think your childminder is just being a bit crap! That’s a silly rule but also at the age your children are is 100% expect them
To have an evening meal at home (hot or cold doesn’t matter).

When my eldest was at his childminders he’d have “tea” there something like beans on toast about 4om but we’d still have supper together about 7’after we got home. He’s also 9 now and perfectly healthy weight well within the correct BMI range

Another one thinking the childminder is giving a snack. We have never used a childminder but when ours were at preschool they got picked up at 5.30-6 and had had high tea at around 4 of sandwiches or similar and then had a regular evening meal with us. I know at after school club (we don't use it but friends do) they have things like toast, crumpets, wraps and cheese and then get picked up at 6 for dinner at home

I have a 9 year old and I think he has a good appetite and he eats more than yours. Do yours not get a snack at school.

Typical weekdays food for my 9 year old would be
Healthy cereal for breakfast eg porridge weetabkx shredded wheat.
Break time snack usually a nutrigrain type bar or sometimes dried apricots or an apple
School hit dinner he usually chooses jacket beans and cheese and a dessert
After school snack of smoothie usually plus something else eg a yogurt, cheese and crackers, a crumpet
Normal family meal at 6pm
Supper around 8 usually small bowl of cereal

That sounds quite alot written down but he's active, cycles 2 miles a day etc and is a healthy BMI if anything he's a string bean!

My son is 9 and has a big snack when he gets in from school- pitta bread and hummus, cheese and crackers, cheese on toast (2 slices) etc - and then is still starving for dinner at 6ish. If I gave him half a sandwich and fruit after school and that was it until the next day he’d be really upset and hungry!

If she’s charging for tea then I’d tell her you want them to have a hot one, that’s what you’re paying for.

If she’s not charging extra, let her give them this snack (it is a snack, that would not fill up my 6 year old DS), and give them e.g baked potato or something when they home xx

The temperature food is served at has nothing to do with how nutritious, filling or calorific it is and I don't understand why people see the need to limit the amount of hot food they eat in case it is 'too much'.

this ^ x100

And the OP has explained several times that she has a problem with food .She doesn't trust her own judgement so posted for advice .

Those admonishing her ,implying she's too lazy to cook for her children etc haven't read the thread and no doubt are further undermining her .

@peridito

The temperature food is served at has nothing to do with how nutritious, filling or calorific it is and I don't understand why people see the need to limit the amount of hot food they eat in case it is 'too much'.

this ^ x100

And the OP has explained several times that she has a problem with food .She doesn't trust her own judgement so posted for advice .

Those admonishing her ,implying she's too lazy to cook for her children etc haven't read the thread and no doubt are further undermining her .

Which is why I suggested seeing a nutritionist. She needs better help than MN