Food at childminder's and the rest of the day

[Serena1977]

The childminder I use for after school says that children only need 1 hot meal a day so if their mindee has a school dinner, the child will get a sandwich for tea.

My children, dd in year 5, 9years old and ds in year 4, 8 years both have school dinners so at the childminder's they get a cheese or ham sandwich made with 1 slice of bread and one piece of fruit of their choice.

Both children are normal weight according to BMI on NHS website.

So today, children had wholegrain cheerios for breakfast, school dinner and the above from childminder's. I don't think this is enough food but my relationship with food is terrible and I am currently obese.

Is this enough food? They say they are hungry when at home in the evening, tonight I gave in and did them beans on toast (1 slice of bread each) at 6.30pm.

They eat like gannets at the weekend.

Can you advise please?

Your childminder sounds completely mad. Why doesn’t she just give them all a hot tea?

This. Just tell her you appreciate her point of view but you'd like them to have a hot meal regardless now the weather is so cold.

Some of the above ideas are good.

However OP, as you say you have a dysfunctional attitude to food, have you asked for help?

Speaking to a nutritionist would help you and the children.
What's your DH weight/attitude to food?

I would find a different childminder. Her way of thinking is odd and probably quite unhealthy.

A sandwich with one slide of bread and a piece of fruit isn't a balanced meal. No wonder they are starving when they get home.

Eh, your children are 8 and 9 and you pick them up at 5.30pm how is your time limited? I have toddlers who go home for their proper dinner at that time . Feed your children!

My children always had a brekfast lunch at school and a hot dinner at babysitters at 2.30. Had family dinner at 6.
Never overweight they ate everything.

The hot dinner the other children are getting won't be any bigger more food than the sandwhich and fruit your kids are getting, I can almost guarantee that so you need to feed your children when they get home. To say you have lost touch with a normal amount of food is ridiculous. Your children are telling you they are hungry so feed them!

@Thatsplentyjack

Eh, your children are 8 and 9 and you pick them up at 5.30pm how is your time limited? I have toddlers who go home for their proper dinner at that time . Feed your children!

Oh I didn't realise they were KS2 age. Yes, that's definitely old enough to give them dinner when you get home.

And you really do need to try and address this. In a few years, your children won't be going to a childminder any more and you won't be able to abdicate responsibility for nutrition to someone else.

There are lots of healthy eating guides produced by the government or you could speak to your local surestart. Mine run classes.

What do you eat at the weekend?

I’m going to buck the trend here.

Their breakfast sounds like it could be a bit better.

One hot meal a day is enough. School dinners are relatively decent now. Kids will eat them if hungry.
They are being offered a proper meal, so I wouldn’t worry about a second hot meal in the evening.

Half a sandwich and a piece of fruit is a really substantial snack. I would say a snack is a piece of fruit by itself.

Mine go to a childminder and are given a snack. I pick them up at 6pm. By the time we’re home it’s 6:15, and we start bedtime at 7ish. There just isn’t time to cook a family meal, and my partner often isn’t home til 7 or 8. I give mine a light meal if they are hungry. Beans on toast / wraps and crudités, fruit, yoghurt etc.

School dinners are relatively decent now

Urgh. I wish this were true.

I agree that the childminder has some strange opinions...

But what they get after school is a snack really so deff feed them again in the evenings. I tend to bulk cook and freeze at weekends - pasta, cottage pie etc and then I can shove in oven or microwave for quick hearty warm tea.

Or tonight, we had pancakes, because why not :) cheap quick and easy.

There just isn’t time to cook a family meal

I think that’s a pretty shit excuse tbh. We have slow cookers that can have your dinner sitting ready for you when you walk in the door. We have freezers so we can batch cook and warm up. We have soups that can be reheated very quickly. Pasta takes next to no time to cook.

Yet you expect the childminder to cook a big meal after a school run, before 5pm with up to 6 kids to look after alone...OK then

Change childminders?

OP a good hot evening meal, especially at this time of year is such a basic and obvious requirement and ritual for children, indeed for the family that I find your attitude perplexing. How did you miss this memo? To sit around the kitchen table and share a meal together is a bit of extra work but one of the cornerstones of family life. As children gets older it gets even more important as with teenagers, it can be one of the few points of real interaction in the day. And all that aside, they are justifiably hungry, feed the poor things!

@lobsteroll

I would find a different childminder. Her way of thinking is odd and probably quite unhealthy.

A sandwich with one slide of bread and a piece of fruit isn't a balanced meal. No wonder they are starving when they get home.

This, OP.

Your childminder is encouraging division between her mindees.

Don't allow your children to be victim to this.

In the meantime: beans / scrambled egg on toast. Pasta, sweetcorn, cheese & ham.
Sausages, potatoes & peas.
Quick meals after you pick them up.

@Thatsplentyjack

Yet you expect the childminder to cook a big meal after a school run, before 5pm with up to 6 kids to look after alone...OK then

Where did she say a big meal?

A nutritious, appropriate meal, that she is paid to provide - yes.

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry

There just isn’t time to cook a family meal

I think that’s a pretty shit excuse tbh. We have slow cookers that can have your dinner sitting ready for you when you walk in the door. We have freezers so we can batch cook and warm up. We have soups that can be reheated very quickly. Pasta takes next to no time to cook.

Agreed, I have at least 10 dinners on rotation that I can get on the table in 30 mins, plus all the other options you mention @maryandgerrylivinginderry. It's a bit feeble to claim you don't have time

I would just serve them what you eat. If it’s jacket potato, that’s fine here and there (though sandwich followed by a jacket is very carb heavy). Mine are 3 and 8 and we get home about the same time and still have a full cooked dinner every night, even if Dh isn’t here (and he does the same if I’m not). It doesn’t have to be elaborate though. What do they like?

Pasta bake and salad, sausages and mash or in a bread roll with veg, stew in slow cooker, chicken or bean fajitas, store bought quiche with salad, a ploughman’s, fried eggs with bacon, toast and fruit salad, or fried egg on crumpets.

*Where did she say a big meal?

Anutritious, appropriate meal,that she ispaidto provide - yes.*

Yes your right, the size doesn't matter actually. Just the cooking part. Cold food can be nutritious . Vold food also costs money.

My kids have one hot meal a day and the other is a normally a sandwich, but they also have cut up salad, olives, fruit, hummus etc. With it. Sandwich is usually cheese or ham.

I thought this was normal? I have never eaten two hot dinners a day. I am a size 10 and kids are normal size.

What time do they have this snack at the childminders?
I’m assuming 4ish after the school run?
So they don’t eat from 4pm until breakfast the next day surely you don’t need the internet to tell you that that’s too long and they need to eat again before bed?

Does she charge more for a hot dinner?
Just tell her you want your DC to be given a hot tea and pay accordingly, the fact you are overweight doesn’t preclude you from making that simple request!

Mine get a hot dinner when they get home from after school club at 5.30pm. Half a sandwich is a snack.

You can’t rely on how much they eat at school, especially at the minute when they may get less time to eat due to having lunches at different times. Plus they’re distracted and want to play.

Feed them when they get in, mine would be starving if I didn’t.

@BananaPie

I’m going to buck the trend here.

Their breakfast sounds like it could be a bit better.

One hot meal a day is enough. School dinners are relatively decent now. Kids will eat them if hungry.
They are being offered a proper meal, so I wouldn’t worry about a second hot meal in the evening.

Half a sandwich and a piece of fruit is a really substantial snack. I would say a snack is a piece of fruit by itself.

Mine go to a childminder and are given a snack. I pick them up at 6pm. By the time we’re home it’s 6:15, and we start bedtime at 7ish. There just isn’t time to cook a family meal, and my partner often isn’t home til 7 or 8. I give mine a light meal if they are hungry. Beans on toast / wraps and crudités, fruit, yoghurt etc.

They will NOT eat them if they don't like them.

I wouldn't either

@smellooo

My kids have one hot meal a day and the other is a normally a sandwich, but they also have cut up salad, olives, fruit, hummus etc. With it. Sandwich is usually cheese or ham.

I thought this was normal? I have never eaten two hot dinners a day. I am a size 10 and kids are normal size.

Even though a lot of schools do much better, properly cooked not reheated meals now, they're still not necessarily as generous a portion as you do at home.

And they don't always like them.