Food at childminder's and the rest of the day

[Serena1977]

The childminder I use for after school says that children only need 1 hot meal a day so if their mindee has a school dinner, the child will get a sandwich for tea.

My children, dd in year 5, 9years old and ds in year 4, 8 years both have school dinners so at the childminder's they get a cheese or ham sandwich made with 1 slice of bread and one piece of fruit of their choice.

Both children are normal weight according to BMI on NHS website.

So today, children had wholegrain cheerios for breakfast, school dinner and the above from childminder's. I don't think this is enough food but my relationship with food is terrible and I am currently obese.

Is this enough food? They say they are hungry when at home in the evening, tonight I gave in and did them beans on toast (1 slice of bread each) at 6.30pm.

They eat like gannets at the weekend.

Can you advise please?

Why aren’t you all eating together in the evening? What do you have for dinner? Your children should be having that.

Sounds like CM is giving them a snack in anticipation of you giving them an evening meal at home.

Def not enough. That's a snack. DS is nearly 4 and he gets a cooked dinner at nursery school. Then a snack at crèche at 3pm. I collect him at 5pm and he's demanding his dinner 😂 he has microwave jacket with beans and cheese, pasta and sauce, spag bol, stew, curry and rice (I keep freezer portions for him) followed by a bowl of yogurt and then a bowl of fruit. Sometimes after that he is asking for more. He is tall but extremely thin.
I don't really blame the childminder for not cooking them an evening meal though. That's a big ask surely and i wouldn't expect that?!

They're getting a snack at childminders. They still need an evening meal.

Ds1 is 5, he has either porridge or toast plus fruit for breakfast, school lunch, after school snack of fruit/yoghurt/toast/crackers depending what he fancies then dinner with us (spag Bol, macaroni, chilli, curry etc)

Oh he also has a banana for morning snack at school

If they're having a sandwich and you're collecting them at 5.30, could you have an evening meal together?

I only cook easy things due to differing family preferences... Bangers and mash, jacket spuds & toppings, macaroni cheese etc. Stodgy, but filling. Or Bolognese, chili, curry or stew.

Something light would be eggy bread, beans on toast, cheese on toast, omelette, fish, veg and spuds.

I find that a bit odd. Are there other children there who get a hot meal, because they don’t have one at lunchtime? Do some of them sit there with a sandwich and others with a hot dinner?

Ours always had a hot school lunch, and a hot evening meal (initially at childminders, now with us). They’re both totally normal weight. There’s no way a single piece of bread sandwich would do for an evening meal for them!

When my nearly 4 year old gets home from nursery (she goes 3 days a week) she is starving. She literally eats from 1530-1700 then has her tea, then wants loads to eat after. She's quite lean.

Your kids are older, I'm not surprised they're hungry when they get back from CM if she gives them a one-slice sandwich!!

Half a sandwich and fruit is a snack. Give them dinner when they get home. Plenty of quick meals you can give them.

I wouldn't expect a child minder to give them an evening meal unless you're working late. Isn't the sandwich just a snack to keep them going until you take them home for dinner?

Oh, she normally had a sandwich as soon as she gets in. And i class it as just a snack .

@Serena1977

So, going by what I've said, what ideas can I do for them? bearing in mind that time is limited at night, I pick them up around 5.30pm and am on my own in the evenings every other week due to DH's shifts.

I am so worried about over feeding them because my mother overfed me to cheer me up and once that connection was established, it has never gone and now I'm obese.

What have you been giving them for dinner in the past?

Things like bolognese, chilli, curry you can batch cook and freeze in portions that you can heat for dinners.

Maybe ask the cm to dial it back to a snack and then give them a decent homecooked meal at home. I'm a cm and we have a decent snack, fruit and crumpets for example, after school and they have tea with their parents.

Half a sandwich and a bit of fruit? Why aren't they having dinner at home then?

Another one saying that your children are not getting enough food. My children have a school lunch, a sandwich/toast snack at after school club, are picked up at 5:30 and then have dinner with the family at 6pm.

I understand your childhood food habits have made a huge impact on your life and I hope you can get some help with that. But you risk repeating the pattern here - if your children are left hungry and you make them feel bad for saying so you risk causing them issues with food too...

I'd be offering toast or a banana alongside the Cheerios to set them up until lunch.
The sandwich and fruit at the child minders is definitely a snack.
They definitely need a proper meal when you get them home.
I'd look at possibly cooking a large shepherds pie and a family size lasagna at the weekend and freezing them for through the week if time was short.

If you pick them up at 5:30 then give them dinner when you get home. My two, similar age, have a sandwich type snack when they get home at 3:30/4 ish and then a hot meal later on. If my kids are hungry they get food. As long as I’m offering my kids healthy food I don’t think that I can really overfeed them!

Food being hot doesn’t mean it’s better for you. A nice sandwich with some crudités on the side is just as good as a plate of meat and two veg, but a half-sandwich is not enough.

Eggs are good, and quick, or jackets.

When I signed up with the childminder, she said she would give them their tea.

Because the childminder has been going on about kids should only have 1 hot meal a day, so I thought that was the norm and obviously the reason why I'm obese.

Me and Dh eat about 8pm if hes here, if hes not here, I just have a jacket pot etc.

On the days they aren't at the childminders, they have a proper cooked dinner.

My relationship with food is shit. I either dont eat anything for hours and then binge so I've lost contact with normal intake.

Because the kids are a normal weight, I thought they were having the right amount, surely if it wasnt enough food, they'd be underweight.

Does the CM provide hot meals? If so, ask her to give one to your children.

@Talipesmum

Yes, they all eat together, some have hot some have cold, depending on what they had at lunch

Your childminder sounds completely mad. Why doesn’t she just give them all a hot tea?

Mine and a hot tea at the childminders and dinner too at home at 6.45. They’re not fat.

Just ask her to make them dinner? Does she give you a discount if she only gives your kids half a sandwich?

Aside from the quantities, assuming they have toast/cereal for breakfast, and a snack for tea, then school lunch is going to be the only time they eat any veg. Give them dinner when they get back from the childminder, it doesn't have to be a big meal but something like jacket potatoes with beans/tuna and salad, or sausage & mash with peas would be a good start. Growing kids need nutrients, so don't worry about what the childminder says, start cooking a simple balanced meal for their dinner.