In case you are wondering.. NO I STILL DONT FUCKING KNOW WHAT THE KIDS WANT FOR CHRISTMAS.

[AuntLucy]

I am asked by relatives every day. Multiple times every day. By text, Whatsapp. By call. Several calls even. I don't know. They're teenagers. They don't know. And its still November. It is not an emergency. Bung a tenner in a card. Or don't. I don't care. I have 90 gifts to negotiate, source and fucking wrap and onward distribute for all of you lot. And I work. I an busy. LEAVE ME ALONE. So if any of you are wondering what my teenagers want for Xmas, please for the love of sweet jesus DON'T ASK ME. I DONT KNOW.

I prefer that people ask. I don't want any more unsolicited tat coming into the house so am happy to give suggestions for what to get my DC that won't add to the pile. They're still at the age where they're grateful for any old plastic junk (pooping reindeer etc ) so it's not so much about their disappointment but my sanity.

As a teenager, I have loads of memories of having to be grateful for novelty mugs, trinket boxes and Poundstretcher hat and scarf sets. Unless I knew the teenager well, I would always ask the parents or give a voucher.

I feel your pain! My Mum starts this shit in August. I told her to actually talk to her granddaughter who is 18 and is fully capable of telling her what she wants.

Feel your pain OP. DS1 (age 12) genuinely wants nothing but books so vouchers for those please so he can choose them and DS2 (age 10) wants a ps5 which would never happen anyway so cash for him too if you really want to give something.

I love a PP idea mentioned of a box of choc coins and actual money, will remember that!

Christmas used to be so simple when every teenager would want a new LP or hit single.

Oh God, I feel your pain OP.

It's not as bad now mine are older but the years when relatives have kept asking what the kids want... I give them all ideas they go off happy as Larry and I realise I have no idea what to get my own kids as everyone else is buying the things on their lists 🙄

I dunno, Starplek, they could try using their fucking imagination? When I'm buying for them I extrapolate from what I already know about them and make an educated sodding guess! And then, in case I've got it wrong, I send it with a gift receipt!

Why do I have to do their thinking for them?

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

I dunno, Starplek, they could try using their fucking imagination? When I'm buying for them I extrapolate from what I already know about them and make an educated sodding guess! And then, in case I've got it wrong, I send it with a gift receipt!

Why do I have to do their thinking for them?

You don't, personally I find it annoying getting stuff he already has or won't use, so don't mind taking a few minutes to say what would be gratefully recieved, each to their own.

I get it OP.
This year, whenever the DC have mentioned they like something, or I notice something I think they'd like I WhatsApp it to DH. DH barely communicates via WhatsApp so our conversation reads just like an Amazon wish list. But at least it's all there.

Plus when BIL asks DH to ask me, he can cut me out and just look on his phone!

If they're teens I'd be telling them to ask them directly what they want. For younger children I was always glad when people asked otherwise we'd end up with multiple of the same thing (but don't want to appear presumptious and tell people what to get before they've asked :D), one year DS got 5 copies of the same book

There was a time when people would get whatever they thought the kids would like and the kid had to smile, say thank you and pretend he liked the gift even if they didn’t.

/////

Now I get this to a degree but surely, when so many people are trying not to buy stuff for stuffs sake this is an odd attitude?

I get that some people find cash or vouchers impersonal and it's blatantly obvious what you've spent but just getting "something to unwrap" instead adds to the obscene unnecessary spending, much of what ends up collecting dust at the back of a cupboard anyway.

But please do not, wise MNers buy those bloody annoying One 4 All gift cards. They're a pain to use (retailer is unable to see what you have on it) and if you still have them after a set time the company starts taking a monthly fee from the balance. Utter rip off.

@Incywinceyspider

My DS is a lot younger but I love it when people ask this. It means I can coordinate to a degree and we can avoid a mountain of tat.

Every teenager in my life is getting cash and a big chocolate reindeer. Job done.

Much easier when they are young. My dcs are 17 and 18yo. Until 2~3years ago, I create a list, usually with their help. This year, there is nothing they want. I’ve asked, tried to look for ideas myself and really there is little.

They have clothes, don’t outgrow them and just buy the specific more fashionable stuff they want. Music is all through Spotify. They are well kited for their hobbies. There is very little they need or want…..

FWIW I think that after a certain age, it’s just as hard to buy for a teen than for an adult.
I also think there is little we all really need and in my case, little I really want (bar maybe a month holiday in Australia but that’s not going to be under the Christmas tree ).

We often end up trying to find ideas just for the sake of it. So we’ve decided that from now on, we would do small gifts only for Christmas. No expectation of having loads under the tree. No expectation for a big gift. Etc… just a few much smaller things we know we will enjoy.

I have this as well, but even when I have provided a short list of suggestions, I still gets calls, texts and messages throughout November wind December, with links to random things.
“Do you think DS would like this?” “I’m standing in Smyths looking at random item do you think DS would like that?” Or just sending links with no explanation whatsoever.
I sent you a list as requested! If it’s not on the list then feel free to buy it, but I can’t guarantee whether it will be liked or not, I’m not telepathic!

Wow I'm lucky if anyone besides me, buys my child anything at all

Why do I have to do their thinking for them?

YES! Exactly. There's enough thinking to be done in my own home without having to be the Official Coordinator of A Successful Christmas.

I stopped giving people ideas the year that I realised I knew exactly what was inside every single parcel under the tree. Including the ones addressed to me. Literally everyone else was getting nice surprises and I was just having to pretend. And I had also had to wrap up all the presents from one set of grandparents, who got Amazon to deliver direct to us "because it would be easier".

A gift is supposed to be something you chose - not something you delegated to the harried middle aged woman that is collapsing with exhaustion in the corner.

I have had this from DM for the last few weeks. She calls me at work. She messages. She WhatsApp s. All but one of my kids is 30+ and I have no clue what they want. I have suggested that she call them and not me, but apparently it is my job to know what to get everyone, despite not seeing 3 of them for months as they live a long way away.

I don't know is apparently not good enough.

@Almostmenopausal same here

Give them your teens phone numbers and suggest they ask directly?

Also stop buying 90 gifts, that's just silly.

My kids will get twice as much as their cousins for Christmas, from grandparents. Because I suggested things that were on special offers so the £25 went a long way and bought them 3 things each of a total "real" value of over £50. If BIL and SIL don't give out their lists until the week before Christmas they will get one or maybe 2 smaller gifts for their £25

Op, close down the problem.
Get your teens to send a list of reasonable priced gifts eg money.
Pens, tops...