In case you are wondering.. NO I STILL DONT FUCKING KNOW WHAT THE KIDS WANT FOR CHRISTMAS.

[AuntLucy]

I am asked by relatives every day. Multiple times every day. By text, Whatsapp. By call. Several calls even. I don't know. They're teenagers. They don't know. And its still November. It is not an emergency. Bung a tenner in a card. Or don't. I don't care. I have 90 gifts to negotiate, source and fucking wrap and onward distribute for all of you lot. And I work. I an busy. LEAVE ME ALONE. So if any of you are wondering what my teenagers want for Xmas, please for the love of sweet jesus DON'T ASK ME. I DONT KNOW.

It's not exactly early to be buying presents, we're less than a month until Christmas I think it's perfectly reasonable for them to have asked and it comes from a place of wanting to buy something that the kids will like.

If you don't know the answer and the kids genuinely won't tell you, then suggest they get a voucher for somewhere you know they'll buy stuff 🤷🏼‍♀️ + their favourite snacks / drinks, etc.

Just say cash, I do for my teens if anyone asks. If I don’t get asked I say nothing. I also just give my neices/ nephews cash apart from the little ones but i’m looking forward to the day I can give them cash too
I also can’t wait till I can just give my own kids cash but they still like presents at the moment so a few more years to go!

I have no desire to spend time sourcing, buying and wrapping this or that for my nephew much as I love him. Same with them all. He gets cash and can do whatever he wants with it. I don’t care

They are teenagers, they don’t even know themselves! I told everyone to send an amazon voucher which won’t be used for months. If they prefer to buy an object, I ask them to talk to talk to DS themselves.

I get it’s very annoying to be asked what your kids want but it’s equally annoying to have to keep asking as no one tells you. Save everyone the misery and annoyance and just say cash first time they ask. I bet your relatives don’t actually care they just want to cross the name off the list.

I've finished Christmas shopping now. Anyone who couldn't be arsed to give me any idea of what they may like is getting fuck all. Usually I'd stress about making sure I've got something for everyone but if they can't be arsed then that's that.

I don't do cash or vouchers for Christmas.

It's very freeing.

I get this too. My mum wanting me to decide what she gets the kids for xmas when i dont even know myself.

DD has an Amazon wish list, she's 7 and we've had it since she was 2. Whenever we or she sees something she'd like, it goes on the list. Then when people ask we send them the link to the list. It has a range of priced items on it from £1 to about £40 so no expectation that anyone spends loads and we only send it to people who've asked.

You keep saying cash is fine and they keep asking?

Give them your teens number or arrange a time for them to call and ask themselves

@sashagabadon

I get it’s very annoying to be asked what your kids want but it’s equally annoying to have to keep asking as no one tells you. Save everyone the misery and annoyance and just say cash first time they ask. I bet your relatives don’t actually care they just want to cross the name off the list.

There was a time when people would get whatever they thought the kids would like and the kid had to smile, say thank you and pretend he liked the gift even if they didn’t.

Nothing wiring with bringing those times back. It is Christmas, not “order what you want but let someone else pay for it”

Do you really give 90 gifts, op

Have a listen to Martin Lewis and see where you can cut it down.

twitter.com/MartinSLewis/status/1045000160441499649?s=20

My mil is the same. Birthdays and Christmas she hounds us for present ideas. She won’t just give cash or vouchers and various gift suggestions aren’t acceptable (who knows what her criteria are….she just doesn’t fancy buying them). For my DS bday when he was around 12 she saw him on the day and said I haven’t got you anything because you didn’t tell me what you wanted. His little face just fell. I had to intervene and reassure him that grandma was joking as she just kept the ‘joke’ up with my DS looking sad and guilty. 🤬🤬🤬.

I know how you feel OP. We’ve had this too and we don’t know either. We’re putting a list together now but part of me is a bit annoyed and thinks, why can’t you just choose a gift yourself? Isn’t that was gift giving is supposed to be? Nowadays you just send a link and someone buys it.

Yes gives me the rage, especially 1 particular sibling that I hardly see all year but come this time of year it’s ‘what can I the dc. I feel like saying if you actually bothered to spend any time with them you might know . It’s hard enough for me thinking of what to buy everyone never mind I have to think for others . I’ve even had messages to say you’ve still not told me what to get the dc as if it’s my job . I just say send cash if you don’t know at least they can buy themselves something.

@elQuintoConyo

Christ, can't you just say an x-brand t-shirt, or an airpod holder or something? Or cash towards new sports equipment?

Failing that, vouchers or cash in a card - but make sure the givers are told later what your DC have bought, cold hard cash might be just that, but manners should still be expected.

My dad transferred money to me for my birthday (I'm abroad) and when I'd spent it, I sent photos of me enjoying what I'd bought, he was very happy

Because if I say a voucher to family, they are not happy because ‘it’s not personal’…. They too expect me to find ideas for teenagers that dint have any idea either…

My DS is a lot younger but I love it when people ask this. It means I can coordinate to a degree and we can avoid a mountain of tat.

Every teenager in my life is getting cash and a big chocolate reindeer. Job done.

Why so angry? Just say they’d love a voucher for Urban Outfitters/ Nandos / Amazon ….whichever shop they like

You are making it hard for yourself

You buy 90 gifts every year?

Instead of moaning about people asking what to buy your kids, you should really suggest cutting back the number of presents being bought. We do a Secret Santa for all the adults in my family, I'd recommend starting with that.

How do you decide what to get the 90 people, do you ask them or their relatives?

Vouchers or refer to the teenager?

I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old and people keep asking me what they want.

The 2 year old wants a pram and a doll. That's it. That's all she's saying every time I ask. Her great grandma has got her a pram.
She doesn't need loads of shit she won't play with.
Every time I give someone a suggestion someone else decides they're going to buy it two weeks later and I have to firefight.

The 3 month old clearly couldn't give a fuck. She's going to drink milk and shit herself and wake up from naps at inconvenient times.

It's exhausting!

Yes we have had this for years now. It’s so hard having a list of stuff for me to buy but also needing to have a suitable list of suitably correct budget for others to buy. Someone upthread said it would be better if they have a budget and this is so true. Mil asks me and I fee I need to stick to £20-30 as feel it greedy to go above that, but £50-60 would be easier to find something. And I am just not sure exactly what she thinks is an appropriate amount.

Why aren't they asking them directly if they are teenagers?

Yeah this was my first thought, too. My teen DD gets asked directly by family via her own phone, so I don't have to field these questions anymore!

Wow I don't understand this.

I always have an answer if someone takes the time to ask. I'm pretty organised though, my DC have to specify what they want by the end of Oct half term.

DS11 always wants something so I have a little mental list of things around £10.

DD always wants a book token. Everyone is happy to send a book token.

I have 90 gifts to negotiate, source and fucking wrap and onward distribute for all of you lot.

STOP!
stop buying random shit for them and get them to stop buying random shit for you.

Ok. So 90 is an exaggeration. Its one gift per person for roughly a dozen extended family members. Then 6-8 things each for DH and each of the kids, plus the stockings. So maybe 40ish things in total. I enjoy doing the choosing and buying wrapping of the gifts I give. I just hate being the custodian of many other people's lists. Its so tedious and joyless. The epitome of wifework. Next year I shall direct them to the kids themselves, who can learn to sink or swim present-wise.