Afghan refugees started dd school

[onedancetwostep]

How would you feel?
How would you make them feel welcome?

They’re just children and their parents are just like you.

Why do you need to start a thread about it?

And the Mumsnet award of most pointless thread ever goes to …the op for this one

How would I feel? I'm neutral - positive about it but would wonder who was paying the fees or if the school had waived them, I wouldn't care about the answer, I'm just nosey!

How would I make them feel welcome? I'd invite the parents to the class WhatsApp and the kids to DSs party next month.

@Saladcreamormayo

you'd treat them just as you would any other child who had just joined the school, must be so scary for them particularly if they don't speak English. what would annoy me though is if locals who have lived in the community for many years cannot get school places for their children and refugees are given priority and get the school place instead.

Yes, how terrible that these traumatised children should get a school place. It’s the same with adopted and fostered children you know they get priority too….. and children with SEN. I wonder are you outraged about that too …..

There’s a reason why certain children will get priority. Be it SEN, being in care, being a refugee etc etc I’m pretty sure not one of those local kids would like to swap circumstances

what would annoy me though is if locals who have lived in the community for many years cannot get school places for their children and refugees are given priority and get the school place instead.
Really? That’s so welcoming of you!
Here little refugees who’ve had to flee your country with your parents to avoid prison / murder / other abuse from the taliban, you can come to our school but only if you don’t get in the way of the kids that have lived here all their lives and don’t want to go to the school down the road…

Couldn't agree more. How would you feel, Saladcreamormayo, if you and your family arrived in a new and strange country, having gone through God knows what, and your kids got to school and people thought things like that about you all?

what would annoy me

Who cares if you're annoyed.

Pray you're never in a position where someone had to inconvenience themselves for your survival.

@sunnyandshare

We had quite a number of Syrian refugees at our primary school. Some of the mums in conjuction with HT organized a coffee morning to invite the mums to break the ice and try to make them feel welcome. I set up a WhatsApp group for them to ask any school related questions (mostly using Google translate) and what they found most useful was help with the homework tasks.

That was a good idea. Thank you.

As a non-refuge child who moved here mid-school and mid-year the biggest difference was being invited to join in during breaks. Lessons were easy because they were structured. I was more worried about break times because everyone had their friendship groups and I was too nervous to join in without invitation.

Headteacher here. We have several Afghan families and have done for years. They're lovely - so ambitious for their children and supportive of the school and the teachers. We are in a very ethnically diverse area and people of similar cultures tend to stick together and support each other, as you'd expect. The most recent Afghan kids we have taken in have significantly greater needs than the international arrivals we usually take. Several show clear signs of trauma and are in no way ready to learn yet. We are currently working on building up trusting relationships with parents, and our longstanding Afghan families have been amazing.

I’d be bloody delighted, we live in such a homogenous white middle class area.

Re welcoming them, I think I would:
Make a point of smiling and saying hi to the parent on the playground, and chatting if their English was up to it,
Invite them round for a play and tea if they were in my kid’s class,
Maybe ask the Headteacher if he/she knew if the family needed anything practical.

How would you feel?

is an extremely strange question

I would feel glad that a child from a war torn country was in a safe place, had a warm bed and was receiving an education tbh

My youngest goes to school with a large number of children whose first language isn’t English, some the children of international students at the local university and others whose families have made their way here via traumatic journeys.

The children don’t bat an eyelid when new children arrive, and I take my cue from that. Most acquire English ridiculously quickly, children truly do have spongy end elastic brains.

I would welcome them with open arms. Their mums would be more than welcome for a cuppa.

@JunoMcDuff

How would I feel? I'm neutral - positive about it but would wonder who was paying the fees or if the school had waived them, I wouldn't care about the answer, I'm just nosey!

How would I make them feel welcome? I'd invite the parents to the class WhatsApp and the kids to DSs party next month.

What a deeply bizarre first response. Or did you just want to make sure everyone on the thread knew your darlings went private?

We’ve a fair scattering of asylum seekers at DS’s school as it’s near a reception centre. I speak French and basic Arabic and found the most helpful thing was to help parents understand the homework. There’s also an excellent local scheme which matches asylum seeker families with local ones with kids slightly older — nice, easy, personal way of passing on outgrown clothes, toys etc.

@Iamthemaid

I would be so happy they are here and hopefully safe. I would try and talk to the parent/carers welcome them welcome.

This with bells on.

I would actively reach out and see if they needed support.

Discreetly ask the school if the children need any items of clothing, including a coat, underwear ( new!) , clothes for home, school uniform, pe kit, etc. Plus other ‘layers’ if the school is doing open windows policy. Winter accessories such as hats, scarves, gloves would also be welcome.
It would be nice to give families a choice , so clothes laid out, hung up and parents/ children invited to choose items.

A slight aside - when my daughter was in Y2 or Y3 at primary school she said she had made a new friend Daniel - he was new to the school - we asked what does he look like - and she said things like - he's got short hair, he;s not very tall, he's quite thin - we couldn't work out who he was from seeing her friends when we dropped her off and picked her up from school - we asked her one day to point out Daniel and when she did we said... ahh the black boy! It was a wonderful insight into her view of the world - that skin colour didn't even register as "a thing".

They have a absolute pittance to live on. Rally about some nice bits of second hand clothing, toys etc. Be welcoming to the parents even if there is a language barrier, a smile and a wave goes a long way.

@Saladcreamormayo

you'd treat them just as you would any other child who had just joined the school, must be so scary for them particularly if they don't speak English. what would annoy me though is if locals who have lived in the community for many years cannot get school places for their children and refugees are given priority and get the school place instead.

Just wow.

Hahaha exactly what I thought.
I'm working with a boy n school who has come from Afghanistan. His father was killed by the Taliban when he was very small, his mother sent him to this country as the Taliban would have taken him as he is the firstborn son.
He can hardly write, and knows no English, but you know what, that boy sits down in every lesson and works his bumhole off. He's always polite and grateful and I can't imagine what he has seen and how he must feel.
Too damn right I'd welcome him.

As someone who lived abroad when my children were primary age and I was learning the language I found the most useful thing was a parent friend who was patient enough to explain what the heck was going on. Think of all the things that happen that aren't really explained (red nose day/comic relief/Christmas events) and really break them down (what's needed/expected/what's the dress code etc). It was so hard to work out all the cultural things that are blindingly obvious to everyone else.

@NovemberWitch

Play. Games that don’t need language.

No! Bad advice.
Play games that DO need language. That's how you learn a language. If people don't talk to you, you'll never learn.

@Saladcreamormayo How awful to think like that. Of course they need help. You got lucky and were born here and they unfortunately were born in a warzone

Be thankful they are safe and out of that hell hole where they more than likely would have been killed.

I’d treat them like every other person - be welcoming and kind.

You might know these are refugees but you’ll be surprised how many other children are refugees, in witness protection programs or in care but you don’t know so you don’t think about treating them any different. This should be no different.