Afghan refugees started dd school

[onedancetwostep]

How would you feel?
How would you make them feel welcome?

[LinoVentura]

The post I quoted must be satire, so I continued in a similar vein.

[JunoMcDuff]

@LinoVentura

The post I quoted must be satire, so I continued in a similar vein.

Phew. Thought so, but you just can't be too careful on here!

[GnomeDePlume]

@thanksamillion

As someone who lived abroad when my children were primary age and I was learning the language I found the most useful thing was a parent friend who was patient enough to explain what the heck was going on. Think of all the things that happen that aren't really explained (red nose day/comic relief/Christmas events) and really break them down (what's needed/expected/what's the dress code etc). It was so hard to work out all the cultural things that are blindingly obvious to everyone else.

Definitely this!

We too lived abroad. The little rituals of primary school baffled us at times. Also the norms of party attendance if any of the children are invited.

[phishy]

I don’t think treating them like everyone else is enough.

I came to the UK as a child and remember feeling very bewildered at school.

[SpritzingAperol]

I find it almost unbelievable that this is a an issue

Where do you live that the school has not had any refugees or economic migrants before?

Children arriving from overseas has been very much part of the UK culture for the past 15 years.



@HolidayTime2021

Is it an 'issue'? Or is OP, in the spirit of extending a welcoming hand, just asking for some pointers. Like the suggestion of the WhatsApp group from a more friendly poster upstream. But god no, that would be trying way too hard. It's 15 years now and why would anyone do that?

God alive , could your post drip more with bored MN cynicism?

Why didn't you just post 'whatever, whatever, whatever, yawn' ?

And guess what some people live in different places to you! That are not the same! wow!

[itsacat]

I don't think it's a stupid question, OP.

While I don't have any personal experience of refugee life, I do have some knowledge of the experience of newly arrived refugee children through my mothers line of work.

Aside from the obvious, which has already been pointed out several times in this thread, I would say the main thing is not to show them pity, or to assume that they are particularly impressed with our living standard in this part of the world. I know I am stating the obvious but it can sometimes be easy for children to assume that refugees have fled poverty and hardship, and come to us having endured unthinkable standards of living, but you may well find that you are actually dealing with the children of highly educated and/or formerly affluent members of society, or similar. They won't appreciate being pitied or having assumptions made about them.

[Iggly]

Read the boy at the back of the class book

[Duckrace]

I would feel fine and would welcome them. We have a skills crisis, apart from anything else. And there is lots more 'else'.

[HarrisonStickle]

I'd organise a party to welcome them to the community/school.

[liveforsummer]

I wonder where you live that this seems novel or worthy of a post?! Schools here have had Syrian refugees starting for the last few years and now starting to see afghan refugees. No one feels or does anything different. In the last month alone the school I work in have had 5 dc from 3 families join who aren't refugees but don't speak a word of English so it's something the school community are used to anyway. As a HT said up thread, parents from similar cultures and sometimes dc too, tend to stick together but that does not mean you can't be friendly and say hello and I'm sure it will be appreciated. In class the dc slot in to their peers at their table and given a week are already speaking some English. I don't think you need to think or do anything different than you would with any other new pupil

[DarlingFell]

@Tomliboosrule

There is a Syrian refugee in my daughters year 5 class. He has picked up English amazingly and all the children love him and think he is hilarious. He is one of my daughters best friends.

That's so lovely.

[DarlingFell]

@LinoVentura

what would annoy me though is if locals who have lived in the community for many years cannot get school places for their children and refugees are given priority and get the school place instead.

I'm angry just thinking about it! Coming over here and accepting school places for their children. I'm not racist, but who do they think they are?

[Firesidefox]

@DazzlePaintedBattlePants

Given that children at our naice middle class village primary racially abused a child in reception, I’m not confident that a minority wouldn’t spout anti immigration, racist nonsense at the child, learnt at their parents’ knee.

I admire the optimism in this thread, but I don’t share it.

I read this and thank god my children go to a diverse inner city school where the children just don't notice what colour anyone is as they're all different.

[AwkwardPaws27]

We had a boy join our class from Bosnia when I was about 7. We were too young to understand the horrendous circumstances his family had escaped from, but we were kind to him.
He learnt a lot of English from me and the other girls - the boys pretty much ignored him until the following year, when he turned out to be pretty good at football, & then he was definitely welcomed by them.
My mum bumped into his mum on a bus a decade later, & his mum said she'd never forgotten how kind us girls were to him in that first year.
So I'd say be kind. Tell your children a little - they don't need details but that a refuge is someone who has moved here because their home was no longer safe - and encourage them to involve the children in games, things like puzzles are brilliant in the early weeks, and we read books to our friend too.

[MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry]

@HarrisonStickle

I'd organise a party to welcome them to the community/school.

😂😂😂

[liveforsummer]

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry I couldn't work out if that was a joke?! Never can tell on here 😆

[phishy]

@AwkwardPaws27

We had a boy join our class from Bosnia when I was about 7. We were too young to understand the horrendous circumstances his family had escaped from, but we were kind to him.
He learnt a lot of English from me and the other girls - the boys pretty much ignored him until the following year, when he turned out to be pretty good at football, & then he was definitely welcomed by them.
My mum bumped into his mum on a bus a decade later, & his mum said she'd never forgotten how kind us girls were to him in that first year.
So I'd say be kind. Tell your children a little - they don't need details but that a refuge is someone who has moved here because their home was no longer safe - and encourage them to involve the children in games, things like puzzles are brilliant in the early weeks, and we read books to our friend too.

That’s lovely.

I still remember the kids I played with on my first day of school in the UK as an immigrant.

I think reminding kids to be nice to the new kids is a good thing.

[LesLavandes]

I don't like your tone.

They should be treated like all the other children and invited to out of school social events. Language and culture should not be a barrier

[8dayweek]

Echo what @Milomonster said - the Afghan families I've seen recently have spoken impeccable English (lots who were evacuated after working as interpreters etc). Based on the small-ish numbers I've seen (30 or so families) I would actually anticipate the Mother's to be most at risk of isolation as they tend to have the "worst" English skills.

[Duckrace]

God, isn't racism really ugly?

[MrsSkylerWhite]

phishy

I don’t think treating them like everyone else is enough.

I came to the UK as a child and remember feeling very bewildered at school“

That’s interesting: what would have helped?

[MilkTooth]

@Duckrace

God, isn't racism really ugly?

I’m not even sure it’s ‘just’ racism, it’s also a side order of ‘it’s just not naice to have to flee from a war zone, or in fact to have had the bad taste to be born in one in the first place’, and a bit of ‘bringing down the tone of the neighbourhood — why are they here?’

[eeek88]

@larkstar

A slight aside - when my daughter was in Y2 or Y3 at primary school she said she had made a new friend Daniel - he was new to the school - we asked what does he look like - and she said things like - he's got short hair, he;s not very tall, he's quite thin - we couldn't work out who he was from seeing her friends when we dropped her off and picked her up from school - we asked her one day to point out Daniel and when she did we said... ahh the black boy! It was a wonderful insight into her view of the world - that skin colour didn't even register as "a thing".

The insight I get from this is that she thought she’d be ‘wrong’ to mention his skin colour as if the word black is a swear word or something. I very much doubt she had failed to notice his skin colour was different to everyone else’s, she just didn’t have the language to discuss it.

I teach in a very white primary school and see this a lot and FYI it’s not the kids from families who are open minded and outward thinking who can’t discuss skin colour. It’s the ones whose parents who say ‘I’m not a racist but all lives matter and I don’t see skin colour I dont’, who tie themselves in knots over language and actually can’t communicate clearly, but eventually after much stumbling will come out with something like, ‘you’re meant to call them coloured aren’t you otherwise it’s racist?’

Kids need to be able to have open and frank conversations about skin colour and anything else they have questions about otherwise the whole topic becomes taboo which isn’t helping anyone… Pretending race doesn’t exist isn’t actually very progressive, but nice for those who can live their lives pretending race and therefore racism isn’t a thing, of course.

[Ilovecharliecat]

@Charliealphatangorara

We had a syrian refugee child start our school in about year 3. He had an interpreter that came in weekly at first, who mainly worked with him one to one but also was there to liaise between him and the staff (possibly small groups of children though I never saw that). 6 months later, through the power of playing with his peers, he could speak excellent English. The children didn't see his lack of English as a reason to not include him. Hopefully the children in your DCs school will do the same.

This is heartwarming to read

[liveforsummer]

The insight I get from this is that she thought she’d be ‘wrong’ to mention his skin colour as if the word black is a swear word or something. I very much doubt she had failed to notice his skin colour was different to everyone else’s, she just didn’t have the language to discuss it.

I agree with this. Dd goes to a very multi cultural school and will often describe dc based on skin/ hair colour, hair type etc as it's all totally normal for her (she's not white/british herself). In a less diverse school a dc might feel less comfortable using such language.