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How many days of the week do you or your DC have "commitments"?

128 replies

whereiscaroline · 24/11/2021 07:00

I'm not talking about school or work but other commitments - hobbies/sports clubs.

I'm feeling frazzled at the moment despite my one DC being a teenager and wondering if it's due to too many commitments.

At the moment one or the other of us has a club every day of the week except Monday and Thursday. It feels too much but I'm not sure if I'm being a bit pathetic!

OP posts:
VeganVampire · 24/11/2021 08:54

Horses. Do I win?

DS1 has three/four evenings a week and occasional weekends away.
DD1 has three evenings a week and weekend events (the horse thing)

They both get up and feed animals before school.

As a family, nothing happens on Fri/Sat/Sun evening, and very occasionally we have a whole day free at the weekend. DH works mon-fri & overtime alternate weekends so only has 4 days off each month anyway.

We have to drive them to everything too, so more of a commitment than waving at the door. This is why I sometimes miss lockdown although dh worked all the way through it, and I'm based from home anyway.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 24/11/2021 09:14

Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays for my 8yo. He does an art club on Tuesday which is straight after school, trampolining on Thursdays and horse riding and swimming on Sundays. He also has guitar lessons in school time, and he practices at home.

He loves his activities and asked to do them all apart from swimming, but I've said swimming lessons are non negotiable until Year 6 when he starts going with school.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 24/11/2021 09:17

Swimming is term time only as well so in school holidays the only weekend commitment is horse riding for an hour.

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massistar · 24/11/2021 09:33

DD12 has sports activities on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday and occasionally a match on a Friday evening. DS16 has rugby training twice a week and a match on Saturday . He also trains/coaches in a martial art on Thursday. DH and I are both sporty too so I play netball twice a week and do a circuits class and play tennis and he cycles and swims. So pretty much every day somebody is doing something. It works for us though. We get plenty of downtime individually and plenty time as a family.

BiddyPop · 24/11/2021 09:52

DD is also a teen, has given up Scouts that she enjoyed (time, and most of her year group left, even though she got on very well with the next year group who included her generally), swimming (she is a good swimmer, not interested in competitive or lifeguarding), soccer, gaelic, etc.

She still sails when she can (and in transition year, there are lots of short courses available, some Wednesdays, some weekends, and she has signed up for the winter racing in the harbour on Sundays, but not the training clinic on saturdays).

She is in the Lego club which is run in school but extra curricular - I think it's Tuesdays this year.

But her main interest is hockey - she trains in school (but after school hours) on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday; she has club training on Thursday nights (and could do Mondays but doesn't), school training/matches Saturday, club Ladies matches Saturday afternoon, club coaching primary school age early Sunday morning, club training/matches for her age group later Sunday morning, and then provincial training/matches on Sunday afternoons (between 2-4 times/month - hence she booked the sailing for the afternoons she has "nothing to do"!).

DH doesn't have any fixed committments (doesn't want them, and is also chief chauffeur for 15 year old with a goalie bag of gear....which fills the boot on its own, or else with all the sailing gear and equipment, which also fills the entire car...).

I have a yoga class on a thursday evening at the same time as DD's training.

And I run a Cub Scout group on Saturday mornings, which often seeps into the afternoon as the Leaders tidy up, arrange upcoming events, and keep ourselves organised - and I then do whatever shopping etc I need to do alone.

That's more than enough - I used to do the winter racing season on Sundays, but there is too much going on in our family to commit to that these days.

BiddyPop · 24/11/2021 09:53

Oh, I forgot her junior team in the club often train on Friday evenings as well as Sunday...so no, there are often weeks where there are no free nights in the week.

BiBabbles · 24/11/2021 10:26

Not pathetic at all. Whether it's 'too much' is very subjective and I think in part depends on how the commitment works - I've found the latter even more important than number of activities: Getting my secondary age kids a monthly bus pass and my older two their own debit card has been amazing in giving them that freedom to explore all their interests without stressing the whole family around them.

In the average week, I'm out for their commitments once a week, but my kids have a lot of hobby commitments most days of the weeks now - sometimes multiple hobbies in one day or activities that take all of Saturday and/or Sunday - but the vast majority are at school or they can travel there and back themselves on the bus so I'm not involved much beyond paperwork and special occasions like exhibits, concerts or award ceremonies. Sometimes my kids create their own 'commitments', like DD1 now takes DS2 to the library every Saturday.

This means it feels far less 'too much' because we're not juggling the whole family around most days and my kids are now at an age where they're clear about what they do and do not want to do - my DDs no longer attend SJA cadets because they felt they had enough other things going on when they finally reopened in person where we are last month whereas my DS's were very excited to jump back in, DS1 has already done a duty and is talking about camp already (that part is stressful, he's had terrible camp luck).

My hobbies are irregular and rarely big commitments. I try to do group gaming at least weekly, whether online or hosting in person. This weekend, I'm going to a one off in-person writing workshop for fun. I've been considering joining a weekly walking group nearby once I feel more confident in my stamina to do 90+ minutes of walking safely & comfortably at a normal I moved some months back and really want to do something locally and keeping an eye on my local pool for non-lane family swims which before COVID, I enjoyed doing weekly with my spouse and DD1.

Insert1x20p · 24/11/2021 11:01

Mondays: DS Choir and Piano lesson, DD netball
Tuesdays: DD Rugby fitness training and swimming, DS cricket- 1 hour training but usually plays with his mates for an hour before that as we go to the club from school but there's an hours' gap before their session.
Wednesdays: School team sports till 4:30 (extended day) but then nothing
Thursday: DD soccer and rugby, DS swimming
Friday: DS choir, DD art and textiles club
Saturday: DD netball match (not every week) and gymnastics, DS cricket
Sunday: Both play rugby

I'm studying FT at the moment so although I do Crossfit, that tends to be early morning. I don't have any set weekend commitments. DH does sea kayaking but again the timing is flexible.

It is busy but school here finishes 3:15 and we live 10 mins from the school so between getting home from school and bed is 5 hours. It's not like they don't get any downtime if they spend a couple of hours doing something they enjoy (which is arguably still downtime). Even when they're home straight from school they'll go and call for other kids and go and play football/ basketball. Also, we are not UK so rugby and cricket season are the same and then most organised sports finish end of April until end of August so it's not year round.

I am also very proactive about lift sharing so I don't have to go to everything and DS goes to a few things on his own now.

sittingdownb · 24/11/2021 11:07

Mine have clubs 5 days per week. We keep Friday and Sunday free. The Saturday club is early so doesn't write off the whole day and they will miss it if necessary.

LadyCleathStuart · 24/11/2021 11:50

DC1 - Monday, Wednesday and Friday
DC2 - Wednesday and Saturday

Both have swimming lessons on a Tuesday also.

It is a lot and often exhausting but they enjoy all of it so we don't mind. Looking forward to the Xmas holidays where everything is stopping for 2 weeks though!

Hellocatshome · 24/11/2021 11:53

Usually everyday apart from Sunday but then there will be about 1 Sunday a month where they compete as well.

I only work part time to facilitate all the drop offs/pick ups etc. Its a headache but they enjoy it and are good at what they do.

DGFB · 24/11/2021 11:54

Every day but it’s not forever as they will grow up eventually. I want them to be able to do activities

cleocleo81 · 24/11/2021 12:33

We have something 4/5 times a week. It's pretty busy and I feel like I am forever running around. I have cut that though as we were more like 5/6 which was too much. I have also started sharing lifts with another parent to some activities and DH now starts dinner three times a week rather than me doing everything.

ArblemarchTFruitbat · 24/11/2021 12:33

...

LadyDanburysHat · 24/11/2021 12:36

We currently have the weekends free. Although Sunday is recent as DS2 used to play matches on Sunday until recently.

Porfre · 24/11/2021 12:38

She has kumon everyday
And other clubs and activities.
Wednesday is the only day.
Sat and Sun morning we are free after 12.30 due to other activities.
So apart from Kumon homework Wednesday the only day free

OneToThree · 24/11/2021 12:41

Only Mondays are free for us.

WinterIcelandicPony · 24/11/2021 12:51

One. Swimming on sundays- just a family fun session,not lessons.

DS1 has ASD and tourettes and really struggles to get through each day as it is with school. So we keep it low key.

workwoes123 · 24/11/2021 12:55

None. I tell a lie - DS goes to gym once a week but it’s 5pm so he’s home for dinner. DH and I don’t do anything regular in the evening. He’s too tired /busy (teacher) and I’m not interested tbh. I prefer my own hobbies at home and going to the pub when I get the chance tbh. I do a fair amount of volunteer work, but not evenings. Neither of our kids are into team sports, and they do a variety during the day at lunchtime clubs, none competitively though.

We used to do more but I cut way back and we are all better for not rushing around all the time.

workwoes123 · 24/11/2021 12:57

I should add: we are in France where there are no my the same school clubs for music / sport etc and the school day runs from 08h00 to 17h30 so it’s long enough.

ToughTittyWhompus · 24/11/2021 12:57

3 DDs.

13YOs activities are close by so she walks, twice a week, plus DofE after school.

10YO - art class on a Saturday

5YO - ballet on a Saturday

Echobelly · 24/11/2021 13:00

I have choir one night a week (+ 5 concerts)
Oldest (13) has choir on Sundays and orchestra after school one night, but can get themselves to and from things if necessary, so not so bad.
DS (10) has scouts, drama and bar mitzvah classes which is too much, so we're dropping the drama after this term - it's been great but Scouts takes priority.

daisypond · 24/11/2021 13:05

I don’t understand why you would feel frazzled over your teen’s hobbies, though. What’s there to be frazzled about? Why do you think it’s too much? Mine are older now, but one of my teens did her hobby six days a week - five evenings after school and several hours on Saturday. As long as she kept up with school, it was fine. Another did bits and bobs of different hobbies as a teen - it also was fine.

jelliedeells · 24/11/2021 13:12

Dd5 has 3 clubs, one after school at school, the others I have to take her to. Dd9 has 4 after school(all out of school) and 2 lunchtime clubs. Come January she is adding 2 after school (at school) and 1 lunchtime club. It just about works as I get home from work by 4pm but term time is crazy! I’ve tried but they don’t want to give anything up so I just look forward to the holidays when they all stop! They also do after school club when they need to.

jelliedeells · 24/11/2021 13:13

H I have one hobby one night a week. Which means dh takes dd to one of hers Grin

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