If MN were in government, what do you think policies would be?

[BobbieT1999]

Just that really...what do you think the country would look like if MNetters ran it?

This is sounding pretty terrifying so far!

No private landlords.

@ErrolTheDragon

I don't know, but I expect they could manage a coherent speech featuring Peppa Pig.

Speaking? In public? To strangers?

Nope - not going to happen.

There would be no church
schools.

There would me many new super selective grammar schools, to accommodate all the very bright children, and all other schools would have great SN provision. No one would give a fuck about average children because no one would believe they exist.

MIL and DIL need a special level of the judiciary exclusive to them.

Well we’d have a dictatorship thats for sure.

Shaking and crying would become the go to reaction to even the slightest inconvenience, employers would need to provide a special room for crying and shaking.

Don’t have a DP/DH but if you do DO NOT under any circumstances say they are helpful, loving, kind etc.. you will be banished to the cellar with a big LTB etched in red ink on your forehead

Funded childcare from birth.

No women will be allowed to change their name on marriage/Children of unmarried couples will be given the mother's surname.

All comps will be "leafy".

Christmas decorations would be compulsory in every dwelling, and would have to be in place by 30th November at the latest.

Christmas Dinner menus would have to be approved by your local committee, and any deviation (such as refusing to serve pigs in blankets) would be punished by a session in the stocks.

It would be a punishable offence to buy your MIL a Christmas present she actually liked.

No men allowed anywhere ever for any reason.

Anyone lower than middle class to be sterilised.

Single parents to be sterilised.

Anyone on benefits/overweight to be euthanised.

Trans people to be put on reservations.

Children will be banned from having any screen time ever. Also no sugar ever and no fun unless it's educational.

Free gin for life for anyone on a 6 figure income.

Women like me (who oppose all the above) to be thrown to the lions.

Can we scrap HS2 please?

I think that perhaps we should demand that architects of all new housing estates should design them in such a way that everyone gets a sensible parking space allocation and somewhere to store their bins.

There would be a Naming Law, restricting the names that parents could give their children, to only those on the official Approved Names List.
There would be severe punishments for any parent attempting to flout this law.

Anyone not picking up their dog's turds will be made to muck out the elephant enclosure at their nearest wildlife park.

No one must touch or even look at a baby, particularly in the case of MILs

@AdaColeman

There would be a Naming Law, restricting the names that parents could give their children, to only those on the official Approved Names List. There would be severe punishments for any parent attempting to flout this law.

Absolutely!

Most K names would be banned, with the exception of Kit

@blacksax

Anyone not picking up their dog's turds will be made to muck out the elephant enclosure at their nearest wildlife park.

I can't imagine anyone objecting to that! Least of all responsible dog owners who don't want theirs sniffing other dogs' output.

Husbands must be home at 7PM on the dot when told. Under no circumstances should they buy anything for themselves with 'family money' 😂

No one allowed to expect an inheritance. In fact all inheritances banned.

All solicitors to spend their time giving 1/2 hour free consultations to women who want to LTB.

Naming your child Kayden or Shannon would be made a criminal offence.

Quite right, too.

MILs and dogs would be abolished.

Front doors would be nailed up.

@percythewitch - well obviously^^ all public speaking would be delegated to a precocious 5 yo.

@ErrolTheDragon isn't that who's in no 10 already??

Parent and Child parking spaces would be for every other member of the public except those with children.

Oh this thread is my favourite thing!

Here ye here ye… the following things are now punishable by exile or heavy fines!

• Unskilled jobs paying less than £15ph
• Earning over £30k a year and complaining about life expenses
• wedding parties or gift lists
• bringing an uninvited sibling to a birthday party
• owning more than one property
• owning a property larger than you need
• step parents disagreeing with a bio parents
• claiming to be a ‘full time mummy’
• weekly food shops exceeding £20pp for your household (mass confusion over whether this includes cleaning products or pet food)
• Being completely neurotypical with no MH issues
• Taking small children out in public or allowing them to in any way impact another adults day.
• phoning in sick unless hospitalised
• calling unexpectedly at someone’s house
• parking in a parent child bay if you don’t have a suitably small child

-living in a rural location -owning a pet you bought rather than rescued

@JetRocket - you missed one:

The use of "Can I get..." in coffee shops. No, you can't get it, that's the barista's job.