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Original poster

Single mum. I hate Sunday nights.

52 replies

Weewilliewinkie123 · 21/11/2021 17:12

Probably this sounds really pitying, but I hate Sunday nights around this time.

Kids are here and I’m doing dinner, but I feel so alone.

Most people I know are still married so I imagine the whole world sitting at home being a lovely family, or out being a lovely family, or just having a much better time than me. Sunday almost brings home to me what I could have had if Exh wasn’t actually a massive arse.

I’m mid (awful, expensive) divorce, so can’t afford to go out for dinner or anything similar and we are renting a tiny house, so I can’t have people over (couldn’t afford to feed them either and who goes visiting at 5pm on a Sunday?) so the day just feels so long.

I feel like I don’t want the weekend to pass as I don’t want to go to work tomorrow, but on the same token I want the weekend over so that I’m not dealing with my own loneliness.

Does anyone get what I’m saying?

OP posts:
Original poster
Weewilliewinkie123 · 21/11/2021 17:16

It feels like through the day I can frantically fill the hours, but the evening comes and I have to sit there with my thoughts

OP posts:
saveforthat · 21/11/2021 17:17

Yes I get it and Ive been there but some of those "lovely" families will be rowing with each other and wishing they were single

justthecat · 21/11/2021 17:19

How about finding a good series on Netflix etc and make that your special eve to watch with snacks etc you like, so you feel it’s your “me” time

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Original poster
Weewilliewinkie123 · 21/11/2021 17:20

The weird thing is, when I was married I was also miserable and unhappy, so it’s not as if I have some amazing memories that cloud things, but I think it just hammers home how my life should have been.

I envy other peoples lives.

OP posts:
Porfre · 21/11/2021 17:23

In my house Sundays are staying at home.
Finishing homework.
Making sure everything is sorted out for tomorrow. Uniform, laundry etc
Housekeeping for the rest of the week.

One of the busiest days of the week. Where I make sure everything is sorted for Monday.

No time for visiting family or large family meals or any of that business.

GalesThisMorning · 21/11/2021 17:27

I understand what you mean. I used to feel the same way sometimes, and often found bank holidays hard too for similar reasons. Try not to get too down. Your kids probably love having a whole day with you.

I'm in a loving relationship now and my sundays are, for the most part, lovely. Nothing lasts forever and this phase will passFlowers

furbabymama87 · 21/11/2021 17:29

I'm married but find Sundays really boring. Today we've just done loads of housework. I know it's not the same as being single but I also feel loneliness at times with being a stay at home mum. I've also been a single mum for years and I know how that feels too. I just used to try and make the most of it. Eat something nice, watch or read something, have a bath and just enjoy the peace when the kids are asleep. I had phone calls to friends and spoke to people online which boosted my confidence. Things will get better for you and there will be loads of people who feel the same way you do.

GalesThisMorning · 21/11/2021 17:29

I think most single parents, or people who have been single parents, will understand that feeling. You need to find some single parent friends. It really helps

madmomma · 21/11/2021 17:30

I completely understand what you mean OP. I felt the same when I got divorced. It's very difficult, but you have to get creative and try to find a way to make it special for yourself. You need a nourishing Sunday night ritual. It could consist of anything at all that is meaningful to you. Mine was a certain series of books that I found very soothing, and a gratitude journal, where I listed all the tiny things I saw during the day that I knew were good, even though I didn't 'feel' grateful for them, iyswim. I also wrote a lot of affirmations at that time. Your ritual might involve a TV series that you save for Sunday nights, a podcast or audio book, a bathing/pampering thing, some wonderful music and a glass of wine,... Something that you've planned and prepared in the week so that when that dread feeling comes you can pull out your nice experience that you made for yourself. You may well still feel lonely during it, but at least you're lonely and proactive!! This lonely time will pass, too. Happier times ahead!

Mumteedum · 21/11/2021 17:33

Hi @Weewilliewinkie123. Single mum here too 👋👋

It gets easier. Flowers I think when you are processing divorce it's still pretty raw and you can't heal because you're having to deal with everything still. Recognise that although you are glad not to be in an unhappy relationship you are grieving the life you set out and hoped for.

I found some weekends endless. Sometimes with my child and sometimes when my child is and was with his father.

Sunday nights were strangely often ok for me after the lonely long weekend. Glass of wine, Downton Abby or whatever is on/Netflix. Pat yourself on the back for doing it all. It's hard. It will get better.

Be nice to yourself. Do something nice after kids are in bed. Bath, telly, book, early night. Whatever it is. And know that you're not the only one. Life isn't what I hoped or planned either but actually a few years on and it's ok. I'm grateful for my child being a lovely happy person and for good friends x

gettingolderandgrumpy · 21/11/2021 17:33

I think everyone envy’s others lives it’s the way of the world. I went to the pub today with family and dc , dc started playing up so brought him home . Child free people don’t have that issue they can sit in the pub stress free as long as they want . I’ve had to turn down a few Christmas nights out due to childcare. Of course I wouldn’t swap my life but just saying people envy others at times . I’d love a evening to myself watch what I want on tv etc so yes I’d envy you op sometimes.

Guacamole001 · 21/11/2021 17:36

You just need single parent friends. There are plenty everywhere but you need to bump into them. Hardly a shortage of them...!

pilates · 21/11/2021 17:42

I used to feel like that and am happily married. Honestly, the drudge of cooking a roast, making sure homework is done, clean school uniform, etc, etc. I second watching a box set on Netflix but don’t think everyone is playing happy families. 💐

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 21/11/2021 17:46

Yes, I hear you. When DH died (this is not a pity post. Nor is it minimising what OP is going through right now), I absolutely hated weekends. It was family time, for my friends. Was always on my own Sat and Sun nights, and yes Sundays were the worst. Quite a few years down the line, I have a new partner, and absolutely relish my Sundays on my own ! My only advice is to try and get through it as best you can. It will change eventually

ponkydonkey · 21/11/2021 17:47

Single mum here too, I've been where you are.... I used to dread them all coming home with sulks demands and every thing dad did with them. 🙄🙄🙄

But after 7 years 😱 I just get them home... cook a lovely roast and have a nice glass of wine 🍷 watch some telly
Most families are trying not to kill each other on Sunday nights! Most married mums would love a weekend of silence.
Enjoy it xx

MadinMarch · 21/11/2021 17:52

I think most single parents, or people who have been single parents, will understand that feeling. You need to find some single parent friends. It really helps

This is very good advice!
Speaking from past experience, I think the trick is to change your attitude. Don't focus on what happens in other peoples' homes (some will be 'better' and some 'worse').
Instead of dwelling on your feelings of lonliness on a Sunday night, make it something to look forward to. Have a slightly special tea, (tasty food, tablecloth, candles?) and then play some games together, or art activities or family film or whatever else is your thing/your kids thing. If they're in bed early, then find yourself a good film to watch afterwards, and get yourself mentally positive for the week ahead.
It may feel a bit like 'faking it til you make it' but I do think it really helps to put a positive spin on your situation and that it can create a significant and positive change of attitude.

TravellingSpoon · 21/11/2021 17:52

I understand what you mean OP, I find the slog of Sunday - food shop (because its the only day I have time!), lunches, laundry cleaning etc is so boring, and there is noone to share the load.

Can you try and give yourself something to look ? A good book, or binge a TV series?

1forAll74 · 21/11/2021 17:57

I think you have to try and find some things to do, and don't dwell on feeling so lonely, and definitely don't think about what others maybe doing.. I have been in your situation many years ago, but learned to accept some of the many dire situations, and just found things to get occupied with, I am not the type of person, who would go and find friends to ease any lonliness, as I never wan't to bother anyone with my situations at all.

Ugzbugz · 21/11/2021 17:59

Im single and DC is nearly 13 so in his room alot Hmm but I do have some single friends and a childless sister who we do alot with but Sundays I can be alone but I do love a wine or 3 with some nice food and something on TV. It is lonely at times I agree, nearly went for lunch on my own the other day Confused

TabithaTiger · 21/11/2021 18:01

I've been a single Mum forever! It does get better, you need to try and reframe it. From what I can see from friends who are married with children, the women seem to spend Sundays cooking a roast, tackling the washing, making sure the uniforms are sorted and the kids have done their homework, while the men seem to be off cycling, playing golf, watching football, etc. As a single Mum, you still have the kids to sort out, but no man child to run round after, and no feeling of resentment that they're not pulling their weight.

I always have some TV or a film lined up for the evening and look forward to getting cosy on the sofa.

Decimator · 21/11/2021 18:02

I totally get it. But the grass is not always greener on the other side, and our minds can play wicked tricks on us, having us believe that others live lives that Mills and Boon writers would be licking their lips at.
In reality married couple life can be just as mundane. I am sure, perhaps when you least expect it, a new man may come into your life and reinvigorate you. Maybe you could join up on a neighbourhood app and get to know some of the locals and plan inexpensive things to do on a Sunday afternoon, leading to a coffee and a chat in the early evening, to take the sting out of the loneliness.

TurnUpTurnip · 21/11/2021 18:03

People say make single parent friends as if it’s just that easy to make friends! It really isn’t once you’re an adult. I get it op, I find it so hard having no adult conversation, I hate when people down play it by saying couples are probably miserable but it’s not the alternative to being a single parent is it?! Lots of couples are happy and I do miss having someone here to chat to and some company. I don’t get time away from my kids so making friends isn’t easy, haven’t manage to make any magical school mum friends! Making friends as an adult isn’t as simple as people are saying.

WaterBottle123 · 21/11/2021 18:06

I hear you OP. I was a single parent for six years. The weeks were so much easier to deal with than weekends.

CouldThisReallyBe · 21/11/2021 18:10

I get it too OP and as a pp has said, it does get better. I'm long time single now and used to it, but what worked for me in the early days when I used to feel really low was reminding myself of how I felt during a particularly bad time in my marriage, which would make me grateful that I was no longer there.

teezletangler · 21/11/2021 18:11

Do you feel like this on other days of the week? Could it be that you actually just hate Sundays? For a lot of people it's a stressful day of the week, regardless of their circumstances.