I want to live in a rural village and be a primary school teacher

[MrsCremuel]

Or something of that ilk? I have a DH, baby and toddler and want to overhaul our lives. I’ve never really done anything drastic in life, mainly because family (parents etc) circs but I’ve always hankered after a different sort of life.

I hate the southeast. So busy and over priced. I desperately want to live somewhere rural. DH could take redundancy, sell a flat he owns and we could live mortgage free. I’m planning on retraining anyway so could get a job so could do anywhere. We recently had 6 weeks off together with the new baby and it was bliss. After wfh stops DH will be back to being out of the house from 7.30-7.30 4 days a week with one day wfh. I don’t want to go back to that, it’s been so good for our toddler and me to have him around more!

Anyone done something drastic to overhaul their lives? Am I being a whimsical fool?

OP there’s so much negativity on this website. Don’t be disheartened. DH and I feel the same about the countryside. We left London over a decade ago (funnily enough also for NE Scotland just like Chipsahoy ) and don’t regret anything.

The thinking exercise mentioned by a PP is a great idea. If you can afford to be mortgage free somewhere and you don’t feel that you need a massive income then by all means think about jobs that could allow you to live where you want and get you a better work life balance. Perhaps not teaching but if you started a separate thread with your criteria (eg working with kids, salary at least £20k, 9-5 hours) I’m sure you would get lots of ideas and then research retraining and see what takes your fancy.

My experience is limited to this part of Scotland but there are many small towns here which have a lot going on for kids (pool, library, plenty of clubs etc) but still feel rural. Adolescence could be more of a problem - some towns have good provision and others don’t, and that is something to bear in mind while you research. Good luck!

OP I think you might be both better finding wfh jobs, then move to an area you like.

Being a teacher is bloody hard work (teacher here) the hours are so long and it saps every ounce of your energy and self esteem. As for living in your catchment area? Are you serious?

Could you move to the countryside but both do remote jobs to give more options? I definitely see the appeal and maybe you’re craving being “part of” the community hence the wish to be a teacher.

I think id only enjoy rural life if I had a reason to be rural like a lifestyle block or a tiny vineyard to tend.

@Glassofshloer luckily neither of those apply to me!

You're getting a lot of people putting you off but I say go for it! It's definitely not a fantasy like one poster above said. Where there are primary schools there are houses so it's perfectly possible to live a 5 minute stroll from work. No need to commute! Your kids can go to the same school = no separate school run. DH can get a wfh job if needed.

You're not committed for life. When the kids approach their teenage years you can look to moving to a nearby town if needed. This is exciting - you've recognised you want change and you're doing something about it! Best of luck OP.

But if you both had WFH jobs then you could be part of the community in other ways!

I live in a small village and love it. DS has lived here since he was born - and yes, when he’s a teenager we’ll probably do a lot of taxi servicing for him. But so what. We get enough out of living here to make that worth it.

I am training as a massage therapist at the moment, which is a total career change for me after a decade in political jobs, but I love it. It’s got lots of opportunities for development with various CPD courses and it’s something that I can do on a self-employed basis. I came to the decision to do this after thinking about what I enjoy doing for my hobbies (running), what I find rewarding, what I enjoyed in my old jobs, and that’s how I lit upon this idea. Worth going through a similar process for yourself.

Village life can be a bit intense but it doesn’t have to be - you don’t have to instantly join the parish council or anything. And yes, people tend to know each other’s business more than in a city, but they also look out for each other - there was a crash on my road the other day and I was getting messages to check it wasn’t me. So there’s good and bad, as with anything.

Ok so we did something not too dissimilar. We went from South East, DH commuting daily and long hours to a tiny coastal town in the North with a mortgage free house. I'm a part time teaching assistant which is a fabulous job but takes a lot of mental energy. He managed to keep his job wfh permanently which was s big help.

So things to think about. When you become mortgage free, even if you earn the same, your cost of living will creep up. Those extra hundreds a month disappear into kids activities, hobbies, school shoes, the odd takeaway etc. You have to be strict.

Rural life is so different, we're in a tiny town not a village but it's similar and I've lived in rural villages before. I never go down the high street without seeing people I know. Which can be nice, but everyone knows everyone's business. Is this something you and your DH are actually ok with? You need to be part of the community and there's very little privacy. I love that, but it's not for everyone. Everything is far away, a car is essential for every journey pretty much. There's no popping out for a pint of milk at 6 on a Sunday. Work is harder to come by too. It's there, but it's not as easy to find.

At the end of the day, life is still life in a rural village or big busy town. It has ups and downs and it's not going to be your fairytale ending. But our lives are a lot less stressful now. Our kids have a lot more opportunities now we're financially stable. It was the right choice for us. But you need to go into it with realistic expectations.

@Whinge

I crave community.

I know people who were isolated and miserable when they lived in a small rural village. I'm sure some have a great community, but I think a lot of people idealise living in rural areas. It's not always a lovely welcoming environment.

I agree with this. I moved to a rural, chocolate box village 9 years ago. I’ve since had 2 children and I’m STILL not considered a local. It’s very isolating and lonely.

It sounds good that you and DH are thinking in same general direction. I hope you go ahead, We went from Sussex village to North London, now moving again to get a garden.
If you become a school teacher you risk being challenged on your language. The pedantic part of me objects to use of ilk, it does not mean similar or same type. It is Scottish for of the Clan or family.
Enjoy the changes.

@StolenAwayOn55thand3rd thank you, I will do that. I forget my sense of humour and thinking style doesn’t always translate well on mumsnet.

It’s been a useful sounding board so far! Also just to say there is no way that I would just uproot everything move somewhere and see how it goes. We live in a town where there are three universities so I will definitely retrain here and research research research before making any major moves. Despite how I may come across I am realist and a planner as well as being a daydreamer, despite that maybe being an unlikely combo.

You could train as an LSA/TA and then clock off at the end of the school day but obviously the wage reflects this.

But you can get Office jobs in the countryside to... Not just London!

You could work in the office part of a school and therefore uses what you already know and its a tighter community feel.

When I was under 7, my DF was a primary school teacher and my other stayed at home - I had younger siblings and childcare didn't exist in the countryside at that time.
The local school was right by the house and I could play alone.
However, the nearest town was 9 miles away. There was one bus a day, going somewhere different every day.
There were slightly bigger villages a few miles away, but life was still hard for anyone who didn't drive.
I really don't know what it would have been like if I'd stayed there as a teenager. Already, where I actually grew up was semi-rural so I had no access to museums, etc. but had I stayed in the village there would have been no library (mobile library's probably stopped now), no going to see friends from outside the village, no cinema, no clothes shops, no nothing that I could have reached by myself.
A strong, close community of course, but all the gossip and lack of privacy that goes with that.

Gosh, there is lots of negativity here!

Yes, I have done it. I work part time in my own business and I am not bored in the slightest- because if the type of person I am. If I was someone who needed to be on the go all the time it would be different.

I live in a rural village but in a touristy area so there are lots of pubs and restaurants in the village. We have two units in our garden that we rent out on Air BnB so chose to have a mortgage rather than be mortgage free so we had the space to do this.

The South East was a total treadmill. Why we as humans have chosen to live our lives commuting and trapped in offices grinding away to make other people rich is beyond me, even though I did it for many years.

If you are both in board do it. Try to make your money work for you though rather than just be mortgage free.

[quote MrsCremuel]@Glassofshloer luckily neither of those apply to me![/quote]
Sorry just realised how my post sounded, totally irrelevant to this really 😂

On a more related note, do it! But if you do, give it at least 2 years to decide if you really like it.

I would say - having lived in a small rural village and retrained as a primary teacher when my children were small - that you might find more of what you are looking for in a smallish town within a wider rural area than in a tiny village.

So identify a target area - Cotswolds; Dales; Peak District; Brecon Beacons etc - and look at the towns within them. From the edge of one of those towns, you could be 10 mins walk to the centre and 15 mins walk to genuine countryside.

Consider childcare. One of the reasons I moved from very rural to a town when retraining was because I couldn't get any childcare within the rural village to cover the hours necessary for a teacher (estimate 8-5 at least in school, so probably 7.30 - 5.30 including commuting in terms of childcare needed, though you can leave school a bit earlier if you are prepared to work longer in the evenings at home)

Also look at which universities local to that area do PGCEs (assuming you already have a degree) and the area of schools that they serve, as it is going to be a LOT easier to train and then work in a similar area as you are a bit more of a 'known quantity' and also will know which areas you might want to work in.

I have never lived in the catchment area of a school I teach in - that way madness lies!

@FrancescaContini

You’ll regret being in a rural village once your children are older. There’ll be nothing for them to do.

We've never regretted it. My teens and young adults absolutely love where we live. They all learnt to drive on the dot of 17 though!

For all the naysayers on this thread there are a lot of women on MN who live rurally and seem perfectly happy.

Some not so happy who report being isolated through not driving, poor local transport, living miles from shops etc so avoid those pitfalls.

Living in deep countryside has major pluses if you can make it work.

I would focus on exactly what job your DH will do, exactly what you can retrain as, being near enough to decent shops that family catering doesn't become significantly more hassle, and being near enough to a hospital that if either or you or the kids get sick you're not miles from a decent A&E.

"But they still do normal things like hang out with friends, go to the cinema, go shopping etc. "

They're not that rural if they're within easy distance of a cinema and shopping and if they can take the bus.
OP said rural village so I imagined somewhere quite some miles away from a small town and further away again from a medium-sized town with cinemas and clothes shops. Obviously, if she means a suburban village, it's quite different.

Just be aware that living rurally means a lot less options nearby for work. Funding jobs you can both wfh pt might be a good option, then move somewhere where you have access to what you need for a growing family so primary school, options for secondary that don't involve a long bus, public transport for when they are teens ... don't discount a market town type sized place as it's logistically a lot easier

In all honesty, maybe have a few holidays a year in rural cottages around the country.

I couldn't live somewhere that didn't have convenience.

Especially Uber eats that delivered my groceries and top up shops each week.

@MrsCremuel

I do love kids that age bit aware that is not an easy option. Primary goal is having a job I can do anywhere that isn’t linked to being in London. Have also considered training as a OH. Just really dread going back to where we were before, work and communing and living for the weekends with the kids hardly seeing DH. He isn’t fussed about his job and would give it up (for the redundancy).

There are plenty of jobs that can be done outside London. I get this sort of crap from my London relatives - they honestly think we're all sitting around on the dole here up North, lamenting the loss of the mines. I've had them express surprise we had Ikea, Wagamama and that I work in the tech industry.

"Oh your houses are so cheap, I'd love to move North" said one, "But I need to, you know, work."

So honestly, you really need to crack open a book or a website and actually learn what these towns and cities are like. Consider a short stay in some. A teacher isn't 'the only job' you can do outside London. It also isn't going to give you a stress free life.

But definitely be a primary teacher if you wanted - then you can holiday in rural cottages every half term and long break - and there's lots of them 😂😂

"Rural where you're ten minutes from the supermarket and 15 from the city centre, much less so."

Eh? 15 minutes from the city centre is still in the city! Very urban.

"Obviously, real country types will say the second one isn't really rural, but it might suit you."

Well, you would still be in the actual city, not even suburban. Even a smallish city like Chester, you would still be in Chester itself if you drove 15 minutes away from the city centre!