Tonight I waited an hour for an ambulance

[bloodywhitecat]

My lovely husband who has fought through so much in the last 18 months had a stroke. He can't speak. He has lost the use of his right hand side. He already has terminal cancer. I am scared this stroke isn't a stroke but is a brain met. Two weeks ago he was investigated for a DVT as his D-dimer was raised and he had calf pain. I am so scared and I am so angry at how he has been failed time and time again since he was first taken ill last spring. There is no point to this post. I just wanted to let it out somewhere.

So awful op!

Madison i agree. Its not new either.
My mum has been in hospital several times going back 20+ years and care has been not too good all that time.
Glove dropped on floor then used.
Dp had migraine 20y ago too and no treatment no pain relief so he could go maybe some antiemetics finally. But it was all night while he was throwing up blood.
Nhs care in birth made my relative hearing friends stories not want kids and actually move abroad. And tbh they were right. I didnt even go on the ward with dc 2 2015 but then they couldnt manage any checks.
They dont tell you you need to magically know when to take antibiotics for you or baby. The baby didnt stop crying all night and couldn't see to change nappy as light didnt work.

But then as a 7yo 30y ago my mum took me to hospital by car for asthma - i was kept in days so some people need to maybe look at getting there by car (not directed at op)

Madisonbridges I completely agree with you.

Today brought slightly better news. The MRI is clear, just a stroke. He is more awake but still confused. He doesn't know the names of our fosterlings or the dog but I think that is a name thing rather than not remembering the person (if that makes sense), he doesn't remember me visiting last night but on the whole I would say there are tiny improvements. His DD, is going instead of me tomorrow and he didn't recognise her name but I am hoping he will know her face.

I never thought I would hear, much less say, "It's just a stroke". A stroke is fucking huge but I was so scared it was metastases in his brain. So bloody scared and it's not.

I'm so pleased that it's not brain mets.
Sending my very best wishes to both you and your lovely DH.

Thinking of you all and wishing DH a speedy return home 💗

V glad it’s better news than you feared, OP. Thinking of you xx

My mum has memory problems, op, and I was saying that Julia (my sister) is coming today. My mum looked puzzled and said Julia, who's Julia. She was mystified. But as soon as I showed her a pictured, she said, that's Julia. She muddles our names up, too, but she knows which one of us is which. I think that will be the same with your lovely husband and he'll know a lot more than he is able, temporarily, to express.

I'm so happy for him that there were no mets and that you have had at least some good news.

Thank you, no mets feels like massive good news, that and the fact that there are tiny improvements but improvements nonetheless.

DiL is going tomorrow armed with some photobooks, my one big regret is me being an arse in front of the camera (I hate it, I usually take the photos) means there are very few good ones of me. If we get through this stage I am going to make sure I have photos of me, of him and my biggest wish is to get a recording of his voice. I have nothing of his voice and that makes me so sad.

I hope you get the time to take pictures and make the voice recording, @bloodywhitecat Take care of yourself.

Oh, yes, make those recordings. My dad died a few years ago and I have a lots of pictures of him but nothing of him speaking or moving. I'm so upset about it because I have my phone and I could have done it regularly. I understand completely wanting to be able to record everything, to hear him laughing, singing or even telling (in my dad's case long-winded) stories of favourite moments of his past and your joint past. I remember my dad saying once, you always think you have more time so you put things off. It's true so don't beat yourself up but get on with your plans to keep him with you always.

@bloodywhitecat sorry for not getting back to you sooner. Great news about the absence of mets.

There’s lots of information here about POA. www.gov.uk/government/publications/make-a-lasting-power-of-attorney

You will need someone at the hospital (usually a Dr but doesn’t have to be) to confirm that your DH has the mental capacity to make this decision at the moment. When we did it for my Dad, we did use a solicitor to make sure it was all done right.

Thank you so much. I am not having a good day today, fosterling 1 was up in the night, I think he is missing his sidekicks (Sidekick 1 and 2 as the dog is now in foster care too). Today I am just so sad but I know much deeper sadness is just around the corner.

Sending you so much love, I wish there was something more I could do. xx

I wish I knew some words to make you feel better but I'm not sure there are any. Hopefully he will be out of hospital soon and you can have happy, loving times with him. Thinking about you, and sending him and you and your family love and good karma. x