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Original poster

School didn't notice my child wasn't there- again!

60 replies

dangermouseisace · 20/11/2021 17:36

Yesterday I found out my 15 year old was missing at 5.30 pm. He’d not gone to school at all and had been wondering around in a distressed state all day. I had no idea he hadn't turned up to school- he is usually reliable. I know he's a teenager...but I would not willingly leave him unsupervised and not knowing his location for 11 hours! Instead, it was 5.30pm before I even started looking for him, in the dark, at rush hour. His last GPS was at a multi storey car park in a city 10 miles away and I was absolutely petrified. He's not streetwise (I've always suspected ASD) and doesn't have many friends. He did get home safely. I'm asking for help for him.

This is the 2nd time this has happened. Last time, when he was 13, and I phoned them up to ask if they noticed they had a missing child because he had been sat in the garden all day. They hadn't noticed.

I am really rather cross. I don't know whether this needs to go beyond a complaint to the school. This is meant to be an “outstanding” school. He already feels like shite so no one noticing he wasn't there made things worse.

OP posts:
Original poster
dangermouseisace · 20/11/2021 17:37

So to clarify- I had no phone calls, nothing to indicate my child was not at school.

OP posts:
Bryna · 20/11/2021 17:41

Our school phones to ask why the child is not in, unless you've phoned the absenteeism line first.
In fact I got a call one day when I thought my teen was in school, she hadn't been registered as she'd been sent to sick bay, they then phoned to ask where she was! That was a worrying few minutes while they tracked her down 🤦‍♀️

Debroglie · 20/11/2021 17:41

My school would have messaged you by 9:30am if a students wasn’t at school and parents hadn’t contacted us to let us know. But if you know he might not get himself to school maybe you should take him in yourself? Just for your own piece of mind. Plus if he’s suffering from low self esteem then it may help with that too.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 20/11/2021 17:43

If dd isn’t in school and I’ve not notified school of her absence I’d be called by 9.30am! I’d be raising it with the safeguarding lead and head of year.

Original poster
dangermouseisace · 20/11/2021 17:44

He usually goes to school do this is unusual- he'd be so embarrassed if I took him in, and anyway the 1st time he simply walked out without anyone noticing. School is nearby.

OP posts:
Killergigglebunnies · 20/11/2021 17:45

I see it as a failure of the school to not notice your ds was not in. I do registers and if we don’t get a call, email or a pigeon post telling us that the dc isn’t in, I will chase and ask the parents/guardian.

UltimateBugKilla · 20/11/2021 17:46

Our school comes and knocks on your door if you don't phone the school by 9am to explain an absence.

Id be furious, he could have got miles away in that amount of time!

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 20/11/2021 17:46

Our school has just this week informed us they will be resuming the phonecall/text for absences from next week. I didn’t even know they had stopped! Presumably because lots are off due to covid.

Perhaps your school has suspended the system too?

Ohmych · 20/11/2021 17:47

That's really bad we get a text by 10am if the children aren't in school.

Heepers · 20/11/2021 17:48

This is a really serious safeguarding issue and a failure by the school. I say this as a teacher. They absolutely must take it seriously.

WildWombat · 20/11/2021 17:49

How scary for you! So glad he got home ok in the end, no thanks to the school. Did you get to the bottom of why he went AWOL? A distressed state doesn't sound good...

PeachesPumpkin · 20/11/2021 17:49

Did he register and then walked out?
I think they would notice if he was absent at registration but I don’t think individual teachers in lessons know who is off school - a child could be in a music lesson, student support, extra input, counselling, on reception, in sick bay etc.
Did your son tell the school he was leaving the premises?
It’s very difficult to be able to judge without knowing the whole story.

Debroglie · 20/11/2021 17:52

Is this school in England? Students shouldn’t be able to escape during the day. That would usually be a serious safeguarding failure.

Roselilly36 · 20/11/2021 17:52

My DS’ left school a few years back, but there school, would have texted me by 11am at the latest. I hope your DS is feeling a bit better now.

RavingAnnie · 20/11/2021 17:54

How on earth did they not realise he was missing?

Debroglie · 20/11/2021 17:54

peaches schools should absolutely know where students are at all times. Subject teachers can see who was in morning registration and there should be systems in place if a student doesn’t show up to a lesson to track them down.

mineofuselessinformation · 20/11/2021 17:57

I'm surprised they didn't notice too.
At my school we use an online register every lesson. If a student has been previously marked in, someone comes to physically check if they are in the class.
You should certainly be asking the school to explain why they didn't notice and, although you won't know as a parent, they should be tightening up their absence procedures.
The more concerning point to me (as a parent, not as a teacher), is why he didn't go to school and went elsewhere instead.

2bazookas · 20/11/2021 17:57

@dangermouseisace

So to clarify- I had no phone calls, nothing to indicate my child was not at school.
Schools assume an absent pupil is sick; and that the parent knows their child is at home too sick for school so no need to for the school to phone and tell them.

They must have scores of absent pupils every day during a pandemic.

LynetteScavo · 20/11/2021 18:01

Something similar when DS decided to stay at home for the day - schools phoned at 2:30pm. DH pointed his child had been missing for 7 hours (he'd left for the bus at 7:30am) and they'd only just thought to contact us. The school said they weren't obliged to phone us to let us know DS wasn't there.

It wouldn't kill them to send a text to parents if a child doesn't turn up.

stingofthebutterfly · 20/11/2021 18:02

That's shocking. Our school require children to register every lesson, and we also get alerts if a child isn't in school by 10am and there's no reason for absence given. Only the 6th form students can leave the school grounds during the day too, as all the gates are card locked.

I'd definitely be raising this with the school as it's completely unacceptable. It's a massive safeguarding issue. I hope your son is ok and you've recovered from the shock x

daisybrown37 · 20/11/2021 18:03

They shouldn’t assume you know where they are, they should contact you - they can do a text message and then the parent at least knows.

Debroglie · 20/11/2021 18:03

No school should assume a child is sick without parental contact. All students who are marked absent at registration and period 1 will have an automated text sent to their parents. This really isn’t optional for schools. They have a duty of care.

BakewellGin1 · 20/11/2021 18:03

If we havnt called in by 9am we get a call by 9.30am... I know this as twice I have left for work planning to call when I arrive and got distracted.
If we leave a voicemail we get a text confirmation that's its recieved.
My DS secondary does a register per lesson as well as in form class. We do too at work in FE.

Miracle29 · 20/11/2021 18:06

My ds school will text to say ypur child is absent and to call the school or the number in the message followed by a phonecall if we don't respond. This is a safeguarding isuue. Id certainly be having a word op. They should know where the children are. I'd be absolutely fuming. Glad he got home safe.

BalloonSlayer · 20/11/2021 18:07

It's a safeguarding issue if a child isn't at school and the school do not inform parents.

However you might decide not to complain in order to keep them on your side. But it should not be a problem to have DS flagged as "vulnerable student, must phone parents immediately if not in school." Then brace yourselves for being phoned twice a week because, being a quiet boy, they have marked him absent from lessons. . .