School didn't notice my child wasn't there- again!

[dangermouseisace]

Yesterday I found out my 15 year old was missing at 5.30 pm. He’d not gone to school at all and had been wondering around in a distressed state all day. I had no idea he hadn't turned up to school- he is usually reliable. I know he's a teenager...but I would not willingly leave him unsupervised and not knowing his location for 11 hours! Instead, it was 5.30pm before I even started looking for him, in the dark, at rush hour. His last GPS was at a multi storey car park in a city 10 miles away and I was absolutely petrified. He's not streetwise (I've always suspected ASD) and doesn't have many friends. He did get home safely. I'm asking for help for him.

This is the 2nd time this has happened. Last time, when he was 13, and I phoned them up to ask if they noticed they had a missing child because he had been sat in the garden all day. They hadn't noticed.

I am really rather cross. I don't know whether this needs to go beyond a complaint to the school. This is meant to be an “outstanding” school. He already feels like shite so no one noticing he wasn't there made things worse.

That's bad. My DD ran away and wouldn't go into school last week. I emailed her tutor and Head of Year as I was out looking for her at 8:30am.

I still got a message from the absence officer around 9am to check where she was.

If my DD went missing without me knowing I'd expect to know by 9:30.

That's appalling!!

We got a phone call.

I thought the school had a legal obligation to contact parents promptly if the school hadn't received notification that the pupil wouldn't be in.

Schools should be phoning by 9:30 if a child is absent from school. Even 10am is too late IMO. It's a serious safeguarding issue, I'd contact the safeguarding lead to discuss.

Our school comes and knocks on your door if you don't phone the school by 9am to explain an absence.

Really? Our school has 1200 pupils. Average truancy rates for our area are about 6%. That would be nearly 90 kids they are going out and knocking on the doors of every day. You’d at least need half a dozen staff to get through all those door knocks in a school day.

I still got a message from the absence officer around 9am to check where she was.

That’s similar to me. I send her off in a taxi but still get texts to say she hasn’t arrived, because she made it to class one minute late for the register to be sent to the office. And even when I let them know she will be late, I still get the call.

What’s frustrating is none of this is in her control and I still have to phone to check and that takes time. I know the one time I think “oh the taxi was late, I’ll not call” will be the time she really did turn up.

*didn’t turn up

OP, this is an awful situation for you, you must be so concerned about your son. I hope you can get the support you need for him.

The school have messed up big time here, it is absolutely unacceptable that no one noticed he wasn't in all day! I'm a teacher and if a pupil was marked in at registration but isn't in my lesson I email the office to check where they are. As mentioned, Ofsted take a very dim view of safeguarding failures. IIRC it's an automatic fail, possibly inadequate straightaway.

I would focus on your son for now and when things have (hopefully) settled down in a few days calmly consider what you want to do.

My daughter was late to school on first day on the bus (in yr 7) and missed registration along with the rest of her busload. I got a call around 11 asking where she was, I said in school, they went errr no I went errr yes as I could see she had spent money on her food card so perhaps they could sort their systems out and check her class at pm registration and get back to me. Never heard from them surprisingly. They are crap at actually monitoring in my view

Thank you all for your comments. heresmyhr I hope your son is in a better place. That is my absolute worst fear.

I have been talking to my son prior to this incident about getting help. He is my absolute priority, and my ex’s who is being supportive.

There’s no way he could have phoned up or got anyone else to. I’m on the phone to the school regularly due to my other child (medical needs) and I have a very distinctive voice! And I appreciate he can walk out. It’s a very open site. I just need to know if he’s left/not there. He’s generally described as a model pupil so this isn’t the sort of thing the school would expect, and his attendance is usually excellent.

But it seems I’m not wrong in being so concerned with the school not contacting me. I will write a letter of complaint and also phone to ask why this oversight happened, and what they are going to do to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

Hi OP
The school is in breach of its safeguarding obligations here. I say that as a safeguarding lead myself. I would horrified if that happened at my school and would have to conduct a full review of the current systems in place to understand why this had happened and ensure it didn't happen again.
Schools must have a registration system which includes following up unexplained absences as soon as possible. My school phones parents if a child hasn't appeared first thing. Yes, mistakes can happen and a child can get marked in as present accidentally, but this should be noticed during the first lesson. If a child is marked in present, but not in a lesson, we have a missing child policy to follow immediately.
Your school must take this seriously as it's not at all acceptable. Although I agree with a pp who says that they should now be alerted about your ds specifically, I would also say that the school should always be aware that ANY child could not turn up or truant for myriad reasons. I never take another child's word for someone's whereabouts, even if I know they're reliable - the stakes are too high.
I hope you receive some proper help and support for your ds as this must be such a worry.