What age is "too old" to confiscate a mobile phone?

[00100001]

What age would you stop confiscating your child's phone as a sanction?

When they pay for it themselves.

When they are paying for it themselves.

I hate these sort of punishments.
What does it achieve?

My DD is 14 and I'd never take her phone off her.

I mean she'd have no one to bitch about me to for a start.

I think it would cause more damage than it's worth to her well being. It's a lifeline to their friends and family.

For me it's a step to far in control and I'm just not that unkind.

When they pay for it themselves, however my 12yr old pays for her contract herself from her pocket money but her phone is locked down pretty tightly.
It turns off at 8pm (emergency calls always available though to specific contacts) and she can't download any apps unless I approve them.
No SM here either.
I have and will put an immediate block on it if chores or specific tasks haven't been done, especially if I've asked and she refuses.
I know it sounds draconian but she has a lot of freedom outside of the phone to do as she pleases and things are always asked or gently reminded first.

Sometimes DD is incredibly rude to me, entitled, bratty, cheeky, I have to take her phone off her as not much else 'works' as a punishment. She is 15.

Never. Not only are you cutting them off from their social network, you're taking away their means of communication when they're out and about - which they may need if they're in a difficult situation and need to contact you/emergency services.

I last tried taking DDs away aged 15 and realised it is far more trouble than it’s worth, especially the older they get. Not being able to contact her when she was out at school etc was a nightmare

So, those who would never and can't see why it would be fine, fair enough. But for example, what would be your go to sanction for something like a 16yo that couldn't wake up in the morning for sixth form college, because they had been on their phone until the wee hours?

@00100001

So, those who would never and can't see why it would be fine, fair enough. But for example, what would be your go to sanction for something like a 16yo that couldn't wake up in the morning for sixth form college, because they had been on their phone until the wee hours?

You could ban phones/devices from bedrooms after a certain time, 10pm for example. I wouldn't confiscate it during the daytime.

Around 16/17. We have a cheap pay as you go phone that can be given to them so they have a way of contacting us in an emergency if needed, but I have no hesitation in removing their phone as an ultimate sanction. Doesn’t happen v often though, the threat is usually enough.

I'm amazed at people who wouldn't take their kids phone away because it's some sort of lifeline, I've never owned a mobile phone and managed perfectly well.
Phones out the bedroom at a certain time OP, if they're not old enough to make sensible decisions for themselves then they need a parent to do it for them.

Whatever age they are when they have left home I guess.

@00100001

So, those who would never and can't see why it would be fine, fair enough. But for example, what would be your go to sanction for something like a 16yo that couldn't wake up in the morning for sixth form college, because they had been on their phone until the wee hours?

Nothing. The natural consequences are enough imho. By sixth form their attendance is their responsibility not the parents’. If they fail A levels, then they’ll have to get a FT job and move out.

@Waxonwaxoff0

And when they sneak it back upstairs...?

@PlanDeRaccordement

So you'd essentially let your sixth former do whatever they want? Let then get up whenever they want? Not get involved if they then didn't bother going into college? Etc?

You'd let them fail?

[quote 00100001]@Waxonwaxoff0

And when they sneak it back upstairs...?[/quote]
I'd you've confiscated it, how do they sneak it back?

Move it somewhere they don't know, hide it better. But as PP have said, their actions need to have ramifications. Stay up half the night - be late - your own issue, not mine.

[quote 00100001]@Waxonwaxoff0

And when they sneak it back upstairs...?[/quote]
Hide it and not tell them where it is?

I'd expect a 16 year old to be able to self regulate. Do they actually want to be at sixth form? Why aren't they bothered about failing?

@NuffSaidSam

When they pay for it themselves.

Exact what I came here to say!

If I’m paying, it’s mine to confiscate imo.

With my almost 15 year old I give an option if I really need to punish him.
It's not very often to be fair.
It's either grounded for X amount of time or hand over phone and console for the same amount of time.
DS will always hand over his phone as he hates staying in. I do have a very basic pre payment phone (no smart in any way) that I give him for emergencies as he does go out a lot!

When my now young adult DS and DD were 16/17 if they didn't get up then they were there ones who had to face the consequences at college. It was an essential life lesson imo and they soon pulled their socks up when they realised the ramifications. Both finished college and one went on to uni whilst the other went into her chosen career. They're early 20s now and very responsible young people.

My younger ones are 11 and under and the same will apply when they're teens. You have to let them start taking responsibility for themselves at some point, 16 is a good place to start as they're still living at home so they have that fallback, but they're also responsible for being on time at college themselves etc.

The 16yo in question was given a chance to be sensible and asked to leave phone downstairs after 11pm charging in the kitchen. Parent discovered said phone in 16yos bedroom the very next morning when they didn't wake up in time for college...

The 16yo phone has now been confiscated, and as predicted there's a stroppy 16yo claiming how unfair itnall is etc etc.

To this people who still would not confiscate the phone after being given an opportunity to be sensible/trusted...what would you do? Let your kid miss college etc?

[quote 00100001]@PlanDeRaccordement

So you'd essentially let your sixth former do whatever they want? Let then get up whenever they want? Not get involved if they then didn't bother going into college? Etc?

You'd let them fail?[/quote]
Yes. They’re 16+ in sixth form. That’s the approach I took with my 16+ yr olds. All I did was basically say, it’s your life you can choose which way you want to go. That at 18 it’s either move out and get a FT job or go to university. Their choice and it’s in their hands which path they end up on.

They have all chosen the university path. And yes, they missed a few days here and there but it did not affect their grades or uni prospects. I have two in uni, one graduated uni with master’s and is working and one that is 17 and will apply to uni next year.

To me, a 16+ teen getting to class and managing their attendance and studies is a necessary step towards the even greater independence of university where you also live in a flat, handle rent, utilities, cooking and cleaning for yourself, etc.

@KurtWilde

Never. Not only are you cutting them off from their social network, you're taking away their means of communication when they're out and about - which they may need if they're in a difficult situation and need to contact you/emergency services.

I wonder how we managed in the dark days before mobile phones existed 🤣🤣🤣