What age is "too old" to confiscate a mobile phone?

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What age would you stop confiscating your child's phone as a sanction?

Interesting that a lot of you don’t implement any consequences with your teens if they don’t do what they are supposed to. Are you ok with letting them fail?

I work with teens of this age and some of them don’t seem to understand that being late & missing lessons = lower grades. They turn up hours late because they have been on their phones until 3am. You contact the parents but nothing changes. They don’t think of long term consequences - and are surprised when they don’t do as well as they could, and don’t get into the university they want.

I guess it’s a life lesson, but one that’s hard to watch?

I guess my son was at college from 16. He was treated as an adult - they certainly wouldn’t be calling me about anything! He did enjoy the social side a bit too much, and didn’t get the grades he expected. He learned his lesson, worked bloody hard the next year, and is now in his second year at uni. He says he felt much more prepared than those who’d been coddled by parents / school right up until going to uni.

@TuftyMarmoset

So in your opinion, natural consequences such as staying on your phone all night, leading you to miss work and get in trouble from your boss wouldn't make you learn that you shouldnt do it again?

Once DC1 had finished Y11, I stopped expecting their mobile to be out of their room overnight (DH and I leave our phones downstairs overnight, DC2 is meant to but it locks down at 8.30pm anyway). I've never confiscated DC1's mobile until very recently and that was because they were really unwell with a prolonged migraine, needed to sleep and not to be messaging friends. Whilst I was out at work, DC1's phone and laptop were hidden so they could rest without interruption. I did leave the landline phone next to their bed so they could still contact people in an emergency or if they felt up to a chat. They didn't. They also understood that it wasn't a punishment but a way of enforcing visual rest. If DC1 missed sixth form because of phone use, that would be their responsibility.

@Wandamakesporridge my eldest 2 DC were at college at 16 so there was no contacting parents if they fell behind as they're treat like adults there. They soon stepped up when they realised the social side of things was affecting their work, because tutors take it up with them not the parent. After some teething problems they both did very well in college, and after that my DD went into her chosen profession, whilst my DS went on to uni. They both appreciated me allowing them to be more responsible for themselves.

I must be a right bastard of a parent. If we agreed something like no phones in bedrooms and they broke it, they would lose their phones for a day. And if they repeatedly broke it they end up with the old Nokia.
If they moaned they could pay for it themselves.

I have never confiscated either of my teen dds phones but I do take the younger ones phone at night as she can’t self regulate and would (and did used to) stay up until all hours interacting with friends. It meant she struggled to get up in the mornings and was being late for school plus her mental health was declining.
She has a tv in her room but it’s more of a passive activity to to before bed. It’s the constant interaction that’s no good for her.
Older dd is 17 and I never had the same issues with her, she has always gone to bed at a relatively normal time and been able to get herself up and ready and out the door without any input from me.

We have google family on our kids phone. You can restrict it without removing it so they can still phone on emergencies or for example you could turn everything else off except WhatsApp if you wanted to. I think it’s fine to use it as a punishment because not much else puts the fear of god in to teenagers like losing the use of their phone. If you are still paying for it, go for it. It’s a luxury not a right!

@Newbabynewhouse for me and DP, no I don’t think it would. Obviously we would know in our logical heads that we shouldn’t do it but short term gratification would win.