Morning from hell? Gather round.

[KitticornsAreReal]

I have had the morning from hell and I’m feeling pretty fucked off about the whole thing.

I am a parent to two wonderful DC who happen to also both be autistic and sometimes the stress of their need to manage every tiny detail of our entire lives just becomes a bit much.

They bicker and fight daily. One of them screams the house down daily. The meltdowns are daily.

This morning, both the DC were arguing and as I was trying to diffuse the situation by calmly talking to them, one of the DC just kept screaming in my ear to hurry up and sort it out (this was due to anxiety , it was not them being rude).

I’m afraid I lost it and shouted “Will you just shut up! Just shut up!” . It is not my finest parenting moment but I just saw red and out it came.

To make matters worse, my lovely elderly neighbour had turned up to my door, which just happened to be open to allow the dog out for a wee. So she heard the whole thing, close hand.

I feel terrible and judged . She politely asked if DH was away so was I dealing with it on my own? She was obviously sympathetic but I feel like a ducking terrible mother right now

Please tell me I’m not the only one who loses it with their DC?

@Thelnebriati

When there's an accident my initial reaction used to be to 'laugh' out of nervousness. Its not real laughter. You can tell the difference if you've ever heard me laugh at something funny. I've lost friends over it. So DS had an accident and I burst out 'laughing', and everyone looked at me like I'm a monster. He wasn't hurt, but he could have been. Thankfully, he doesn't remember but I don't think anyone else forgot and they'll probably put it on my gravestone

Me too. Embarrassing isn't it? It's my shock response.