Will someone please make a red wine that's about 8%, has zero calories, and tasted like a nice chianti or rioja

[Plumpkinn]

Is that too much to ask?

It's a simple request.

Just a beautiful tasting wine that doesn't make me fat or shitfaced too early.

Some fuckers are making peanut butter rum, or banoffee vodka. What I'm asking is entirely reasonable. Imagine the £££ they'd make.

Completely agree. Even for the norm to be 11% or less would be good.

Red wine is way too strong now, I can't drink it any more. Anything over 12.5% makes me so ill the next day.

Excellent, I have allies.

Shall we crowdfund?

Joke

I suppose you could buy 15% wine and dilute it 50:50 with water. I’m not sure it would taste very nice though. Or perhaps 50:50 with alcohol-free wine. Won’t solve the calories though!

There should at least be a petition. In the meantime I will sup my 12% Gavi 🍷

Can we do a petition on Change?

@OublietteBravo

I suppose you could buy 15% wine and dilute it 50:50 with water. I’m not sure it would taste very nice though. Or perhaps 50:50 with alcohol-free wine. Won’t solve the calories though!

Tried, it's like vile sangria ribena.

Ooh sangria, that's an idea

Look for wines from cooler climates then. So maybe Germany and we even produce red here in the UK. I personally am not a fan but try it.
There are also some improving quality alcohol free reds, I tried McGuigan and it was not terrible!
My mantra has always been an advocate of one of water, one of wine. Can usually get away with it. And I like BIG reds.

I'd buy it!

I think the increase in red wine percentage is something to do with climate change, but I was shitfaced on too-strong red wine while having the conversation so don’t quote me.

Have you tried Federweißer aka "new wine"? It's partially fermented grape juice which is common in the bit of Germany where I live and traditionally sold in autumn. It's about 9% and absolutely delicious. You tend to get a bit drunk quicker than you expect on it though because it's so sweet. But I love it!

Another buyer here! That sounds like a lovely dream OP

I'm with you OP. I think drinking a high % alcohol red is like drinking cough syrup. I won't drink over 13%

13%! I’d have my knickers on my head!

@OublietteBravo

I suppose you could buy 15% wine and dilute it 50:50 with water. I’m not sure it would taste very nice though. Or perhaps 50:50 with alcohol-free wine. Won’t solve the calories though!

I bought one of those light fruity rose wines in summer and that's exactly what it tasted like!