Help from churches?

[julieca]

This is a genuine question. I come from a very poor childhood and have had periods of being very poor myself. In any thread about someone struggling, people always say ask at your local church for help.
I have never known anyone who was not a regular churchgoer or an obviously needy family e.g. family very poor because single parent has terminal cancer, get any help from a church in the UK.
Some of my local churches run foodbank that you need a referral for. And if you were street homeless I am sure if you knocked they would give you a sandwich. But there are lots of people who don't have enough money to put the heating on, struggle to feed themselves and their families and so eat a lot of toast, etc.
So if someone like this who was not known, turned up at their local church would they really get help with their heating bills? Because I simply can't see it happening. Even the Christmas toy appeals are distributed through things like Barnardos, not simply given to a poor family that turn up at the church door.

I think it depends which church but in the main I think they would at least try to signpost to services which could help.

Our church foodbank doesn’t need referrals because it isn’t linked to the main one in the city, it was set up during Covid as more people needed help. So it’s always a good idea to ask.

Many churches have a community worker or someone who visits housebound people, they would also be good links for non-churchgoers who need some help.

So if someone like this who was not known, turned up at their local church would they really get help with their heating bills? Because I simply can't see it happening

Realistically I agree that no, a church isn't going to give a random person cash. But then no other charity is either, is it?

Your local clergy should have community links and be able to signpost people to appropriate places for help.

Help doesn't always mean handouts.

Yes, I can see they would do referrals to the nearest food bank, CAB, etc.
I have always been doubtful about this much trotted out advice.
I know during my whole childhood the only help my mum ever got extra was from neighbours who knew how poor she was.

And I'm not sure that it's necessarily even about being known - I am a regular churchgoer and if we were in need I can imagine people organising food drop offs or hand me down clothes for us, but not that they'd be like 'oh, just grab £20 out the collection plate for the gas meter'. I just don't think that's a realistic idea.

Our Church runs a foodbank/community mini market/advice cafe that doesn't require referrals and we will give out bags of food and second hand clothes and things like bedding, towels, essential furniture to anyone who it's brought to our attention that needs it. We also have a discretionary fund that the vicar can use to help people out, but this tends to be for people known to the church (not necessarily churchgoers, but maybe people who come to the food bank or other church run events). Most importantly, we would be able to signpost you to the relevant advice you need and support you in filling in forms etc.

I think that the advice is given because most clergy have a pretty good idea of what is and isn't available in the local area. And CofE clergy are there to serve everyone in the parish regardless of whether or not they are church goers/Christian or otherwise. Mine would be able to signpost a family in need to the soup kitchen and a food bank which operates like a free cafe - it is a bit hit and miss as to what they have in but they don't require a referral. They would also be able to speak discreetly to a head teacher about a child in need of say some secondhand uniform (most have access to some that they can give out if needed) and a foodbank referral if the parent is finding it difficult to do this by themselves.

They usually also know where the local money management help and advice programmes are and which of the more local charities do what. So in our case they know that the local money help is run from a church 2 miles away and that there is a local charity that runs an afterschool centre by referral (which they can make) where the children get a hot meal.

It might not be much but it will help - it isn't necessarily the case that the local church will help directly but they will often be able to find someone who can.

Please bear in mind that a lot of the advice given on MN bears absolutely no relation to how the world works in real life.

@vajingleberry

Please bear in mind that a lot of the advice given on MN bears absolutely no relation to how the world works in real life.

True, but rather mysterious. Which bit of advice do you think is unrealistic?

I have no idea what'd happen if you came to my church and asked for financial help from the vicar; at my last church people came all the time because it was in the middle of a city and homeless people sometimes slept there, and there were quite strict rules about how to do financial support, because otherwise it's very open to corruption. As in 'what do you mean I, the vicar, ought to have 10k of collection money for the year, of course I don't, I gave it to the needy'.

@vajingleberry very true! I see such bad advice all the time. One thing I see all the time is the idea that there are masses of free support out there. There is some support, but not as much as some posters make out.

The local Sikh temple runs a hot food kitchen throughout half terms for families struggling to just turn up and get a hot meal.
The local CofE Church runs a food bank
The local Catholic Church takes donations of clothes and distributes to the community, and the local community centre runs coffee mornings for a hot brew, budgeting classes, food club which is pay as you feel for as much as you need, and youth club which runs trips free of charge for littke ones to be able to have a day out to the panto etc which they wouldn't otherwise get.
Its always worth asking around for what's available in your local area.

True, but rather mysterious. Which bit of advice do you think is unrealistic?

Well I wasn't talking about this thread specifically - I have no idea whether churches are set up to/willing to help.

OP said that she had seen the advice given on previous threads.

Many posters simply parrot what they have read on other posts (without any real life experience of the situation or bothering to check whether things are actually true) and they then become self-perpetuating myths.

OP - just to clarify, I didn't intend my post above to sound like it was directed at you!

You have done the exact opposite of that

@vajingleberry

True, but rather mysterious. Which bit of advice do you think is unrealistic?

Well I wasn't talking about this thread specifically - I have no idea whether churches are set up to/willing to help.

OP said that she had seen the advice given on previous threads.

Many posters simply parrot what they have read on other posts (without any real life experience of the situation or bothering to check whether things are actually true) and they then become self-perpetuating myths.

Oh, ok.

I guess that's in the nature of a chat forum, isn't it?

I thought you meant you'd seen something untrue or misleading.

@vajingleberry yes I realised that thanks.

My church would be able to help you. We even have a large hardship fund that gives out cash.

We have a kitchen that serves hot food (soup, toasties). We have links to the food bank and can do referrals. We have a clothing exchange (one way is fine). We have way too many toys, so are happy to offload them.

Importantly, we are a branch of CAP (Christians Against Poverty) and can put together a budget plan for you and befriend you.

My church has a fund that members can donate to. The minister can be use it to help out folk who come to him. People regularly knock on the man's door looking for help, whether it's a fiver for the meter, help with food shopping or whatever. We also take donations of things like coats, shoes etc and give them to people in need.

My parents are clergy (not CoE); they’re used to helping with things like completing UC applications, accompanying people to DWP interviews, signposting to support services, as well as more informal help like providing food, clothes, furniture. It wouldn’t matter if you went to church or even what you believed. Growing up it wasn’t unusual to have an extra guest at the dinner table; that’s part of what Christianity means to them.

It depends on the individuals working from that church in that area.

I donate through St Vincent de Paul which is a Catholic charity.
They can only help a small amount of people at a time & they help in different ways depending on who helps them, who they are, the help people need etc.. so I can only speak for my local group.

Of the half a dozen families my local group are helping at the minute, more than half of those families are not Catholic.
I get given a lot of new toys & random other household things which I choose to pass on through SVP so those families get presents straight from them, not through Barnados or similar.
Other areas don't have me who gets given all these things so they don't do that.
None of the families my local SVP help have been referred by anyone else but there are always more families who need help than they can help at any one time.
We give fresh food, milk, meat, fruit & veg & cupboard food as well as freezer food if families have a freezer.
Other branches may just do tins.
Most of those people literally did turn up at the church door & were referred by Father & not everyone he referred was able to be helped by them although they did signpost people onwards to other organisations - in some areas they have had to stop this because so many people turn up & it's just a few local parishioners helping out who can only help so much, so it can be a case of good timing.
I know my local guy helps people sort out other things that those families are having problems with if possible, but not all do.

Last year, I personally donated £5 per family towards heating costs (it was only 5 families so not tons of money) because I couldn't bear the idea of those families being cold on Christmas day & I know a few others did too, so heating help can happen but the money was put on meters not given in cash - giving money is extraordinarily unusual.
I also know of other times when heating help has been given but it's rare & normally only in unusual circumstances - someone just out of hospital/sick etc.. but once again it's almost never given as cash.
I know anyone who came in off the street saying they needed heating help would be told there wasn't any.

I'm a single parent.
What makes me really angry is that it feels like 95% of the people in these desperate situations are single parents.
It's always the mother (not always unemployed either) & wherever the father is he never pays maintenance.

That's not stuff I've heard, that's the life I live.
I also know we are not the only faith group who help in various ways.
I think all of them do.

We just all do what we can.

I have seen the advice on lots of threads to go to your local church. But what the one about the poster who can't afford to have her heating on also had that advice. Others did give advice on agencies that can actually help. But I was doubtful that a church would help a random family with their heating bill.
I am not knocking churches by the way.
But generally, you can get help through formal routes such as foodbank, or through informal routes for things people want to give anyway such as freecycle. And help is limited because there are so many out there needing help.

A local charity produces a list of where to get free food in our city. The list includes some churches, mosques, the gurdwara, and secular organisations. There are food banks ( not all of which require a referral) as well as times each week when meals are provided. Pretty much every day of the week there is something available.

I haven't seen anything similar for people who urgently need help with fuel costs though.

I agree that going along to a church at a random time and just asking for cash probably wouldn't result in cash being given in most cases.

I always find this slightly odd as the churches around her are always locked unless unlocked for a service or because there is a playgroup or something going on and the massive vicarages next door to the churches are no longer inhabited by the vicar who instead lives in a modern non-descript house a few miles away.
So I'm not sure who you'd actually ask for help.

I agree with PPs, most churches will have some funds available to help people in need and, equally importantly they will be offering Food Banks, Community kitchens, hot meals, 'Freecycle' clothes and bed linen, household items in addition to signposting to local support etc. But I also think a lot of church members will quietly give a financial gift to someone who is struggling.

It is sad that the Church gets so much bad press especially on Mumsnet when in a lot of areas they are the ones taking the lead on offering help and support. Where I live the Churches work together ecumenically and offer a huge amount of voluntary support including food bank, hot meals, supporting rough sleepers etc.

I guess it depends where you live inflatable but where I live the Parish church is open every day, the parish office is also open. I know they keep bags of food, sleeping bags etc available for emergencies. All churches will probably have a notice board with contact details of phone numbers etc.