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Help from churches?

69 replies

julieca · 04/11/2021 13:01

This is a genuine question. I come from a very poor childhood and have had periods of being very poor myself. In any thread about someone struggling, people always say ask at your local church for help.
I have never known anyone who was not a regular churchgoer or an obviously needy family e.g. family very poor because single parent has terminal cancer, get any help from a church in the UK.
Some of my local churches run foodbank that you need a referral for. And if you were street homeless I am sure if you knocked they would give you a sandwich. But there are lots of people who don't have enough money to put the heating on, struggle to feed themselves and their families and so eat a lot of toast, etc.
So if someone like this who was not known, turned up at their local church would they really get help with their heating bills? Because I simply can't see it happening. Even the Christmas toy appeals are distributed through things like Barnardos, not simply given to a poor family that turn up at the church door.

OP posts:
NiceGerbil · 04/11/2021 21:26

I think if you know anyone needing help there's plenty out there but where to go etc is not just rock up at church.

I'm in London and it just wouldn't work on an ad hoc basis.

I'm sure the vast majority of churches mosques temples etc would help someone who asked get help.

I know that Hindu temples are big on feeding anyone hungry eg www.mylondon.news/news/west-london-news/amazing-grannies-making-chapatis-thousands-21462578

And hare Krishna as well I think.

It's there if you look.

julieca · 04/11/2021 21:30

@NiceGerbil I think it depends very much where you live.
Where I live is urban so there is a Hindu temple that gives out a bowl of dahl free to anyone in the morning. There is also a cafe that will give free food to anyone in need, food banks, a food larder and a few old fashioned types of charity shops run in church halls with cheap clothes. But most of my relatives are in rural areas where there is nothing close by at all.

OP posts:
horseymum · 04/11/2021 21:33

Yes, our church has helped people pay electric bills, done a clothes and new baby stuff collection etc for people who weren't members. The minister has a budget he can give out without permission of the elders eg to someone who knocked on the door. We're also involved in CAP and trussel trust foodbank so would be able to signpost people.

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NeverHomeAlone · 04/11/2021 21:35

Our church would help. They work in conjunction with a charity that offers practical help to those in need; food, furniture, financial advice etc all freely offered.

I image they would give some money too if they felt it was necessary, they can't just indiscriminately hand out unlimited cash to anyone who asks for it.

Ours is locked if no one is in it, I think possibly for insurance purposes (?) but can be contacted online and the service times are posted outside, so you could turn up around then.

NeverHomeAlone · 04/11/2021 21:42

Our church is also set of the "Welcome Churches" network which seeks to reach out to refugees and has strong links with a nearby charity which offers counselling services for free if you can't afford to pay. Each christmas day we host a big dinner with an open invitation for all to come. Families, those with nowhere else to go, homeless etc.

NiceGerbil · 04/11/2021 21:44

Julieca do your relatives in rural areas need help?

If so then where-ish there's a lot of posters on MN maybe we can help?

If not how has this come up?

NeverHomeAlone · 04/11/2021 21:46
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julieca · 04/11/2021 21:48

@NiceGerbil no thanks they are fine. TBH they are part of an area where if they did need help, neighbours would help.
This post wasn't because I need help. I just wondered about the advice often given on MN to go to your local church.

OP posts:
NiceGerbil · 05/11/2021 00:19

I've never seen that advice tbh. I mean obv you've noticed it. Generally it's like cab benefits refuges charities IME.

I must admit if a knew someone who needed help the church wouldn't cross my mind!

If you've discussed with family and they're concerned about lack of help from church (?) then if they want I bet there would be a lot of interest in starting something.

CraftyGin · 05/11/2021 18:27

@julieca

To be clear I wasn't being critical. All the churches around me are locked when there is nothing organised happening. One runs a foodbank. I don't expect to be able to go to a church and get money. But it is often suggested on MN.
It's Church of England policy that town centre churches should be open during the week outside of service (not completely, but for several sessions). The reason for this, apart from prayer and interest in the building, is to show that there is nothing worth stealing! I'm sure, that most churches like ours, do not have Pastoral Assistants hosting open church, so the help they can offer will be just to fob you off to someone else.

Most churches should have office hours, maybe not full time, but a place where you can make contact.

ACNY website should have details.

OP, what are you expecting of churches? Do you think your expectations are reasonable?

julieca · 05/11/2021 18:56

@CraftyGin I have no expectations. I was simply querying this advice given by others.

OP posts:
autumnboys · 05/11/2021 19:00

I was a church administrator until recently. We had a vicars discretionary fund which our pastoral staff could and did access for non church members.

Tiggles · 05/11/2021 21:09

My rural church doesn't have a discretionary fund (we pretty much have no money left). However if someone turned up at my door then I'd give them a box of food out my cupboard. Or walk across the road with them to the village shop to put money on an electric card.
In my previous urban parish I kept a bag of food by the door as it was more likely people would turn up.
But it comes out of my pocket as the vicar, not some mythical limitless fund. Some churches do have a discretionary fund but that might not just be for people turning up at the door, e.g. if it is a heard a family is having a rough time, or someone's house is damaged in a flood or fire they wouldn't need to ask the church would just provide a donation

picklemewalnuts · 05/11/2021 21:17

People come to us to tell us if they know someone who needs support in a specific situation- moving to the area to escape abuse, moving in and without resources to get set up, etc. We'll hunt around at home to see whether we have anything that would help. We can usually come up with bedding, coffee tables, cushions, maybe a sofa... children's toys and clothes.

I organise delivery of meals from the weekly community kitchen. When someone asked for a food bank that delivered, we organised a hamper from the kitchen, and I raided my cupboards (always well stocked) to tide them over.

So while I don't know any churches that give people money when they are broke (in fact churches tend not to have enough cash to pay their own bills), but I do know church communities help when they can.

Riverskye · 05/11/2021 22:02

I know quite a few local churches / church groups that have a variety of help on top of being food banks, including help with things like winters coats, heating, toys etc.

@Snugglepumpkin just wanted to say my experience with St Vincent de Paul has been fantastic. A few years ago my husband and I were in a very low place and in passing mentioned to someone when getting a food bank referral about our situation, we’d sold most possessions, hadn’t any heating all winter and no food left. They referred us to SVP who gave us a super market voucher, 200L of heating oil and 6 bags of groceries! They even gave me a bunch of flowers, I honestly cried after they left as it was so overwhelming. We’re not Catholic and live in N.I. But have been donating to them ever since our situation improved as it was such a help at our lowest point.

YoungGiftedPlump · 05/11/2021 22:28

A church near me has a food mission
They provide breakfast and a cooked meal a day to anyone who turns up plus daily food packages. They also have a baby bank, sanitary protection bank etc

I supported them closely during the 1st lockdown. Everything comes from donations and when the shops closed they were stuffed.

YoungGiftedPlump · 05/11/2021 22:29

Oh- ours had flowers for easter and mothers day and easter eggs

YoungGiftedPlump · 05/11/2021 22:30

Sikh temples feed everyone who turns up daily near us as well

Snugglepumpkin · 05/11/2021 23:01

@Riverskye

I know quite a few local churches / church groups that have a variety of help on top of being food banks, including help with things like winters coats, heating, toys etc.

@Snugglepumpkin just wanted to say my experience with St Vincent de Paul has been fantastic. A few years ago my husband and I were in a very low place and in passing mentioned to someone when getting a food bank referral about our situation, we’d sold most possessions, hadn’t any heating all winter and no food left. They referred us to SVP who gave us a super market voucher, 200L of heating oil and 6 bags of groceries! They even gave me a bunch of flowers, I honestly cried after they left as it was so overwhelming. We’re not Catholic and live in N.I. But have been donating to them ever since our situation improved as it was such a help at our lowest point.

I'm really glad you are in a better place. That money you donate will definitely be going to helping other people through tough times.

They are great, but then so are all the other little faith based organisations working away quietly in the background of every community.

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