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Help from churches?

69 replies

julieca · 04/11/2021 13:01

This is a genuine question. I come from a very poor childhood and have had periods of being very poor myself. In any thread about someone struggling, people always say ask at your local church for help.
I have never known anyone who was not a regular churchgoer or an obviously needy family e.g. family very poor because single parent has terminal cancer, get any help from a church in the UK.
Some of my local churches run foodbank that you need a referral for. And if you were street homeless I am sure if you knocked they would give you a sandwich. But there are lots of people who don't have enough money to put the heating on, struggle to feed themselves and their families and so eat a lot of toast, etc.
So if someone like this who was not known, turned up at their local church would they really get help with their heating bills? Because I simply can't see it happening. Even the Christmas toy appeals are distributed through things like Barnardos, not simply given to a poor family that turn up at the church door.

OP posts:
Notebooksarefabulous · 04/11/2021 15:17

The three churches nearest to me would ALL help anyone who sought their help - as much as they realistically could. Or they would signpost to other local services better placed to help. The local c of e church would shoo you away most likely.

bluejuniper · 04/11/2021 15:30

It depends. My church gives out free cooked breakfast every other week. Would more than likely find the funds if you went to a service and asked for help as long as it wasn't something massive. I have no doubt in my mind they'd have gotten together to feed & clothe anyone that asked.

I've known people to have uni fees paid for, a whole house paid for through the church. But those cases were because of their dedication.

bluejuniper · 04/11/2021 15:31

My church also offered free counselling as the vicar is a trained counsellor too.

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bluejuniper · 04/11/2021 15:33

@inflatableseahorses my old church used to be open door policy but they were robbed and had to start locking their doors. It upset the people that worked there because they wanted anyone that needed to come to be able to. Just a sign of the times I suppose.

Toddlerteaplease · 04/11/2021 15:37

My parents church did give money to someone who said they needed help. Turned out it wasn't genuine. I was amazed that they did that instead of signposting to organisations that might be able to help.

1forAll74 · 04/11/2021 15:38

I think that the local church and vicar,in my village here, would direct people to various outlets, for advice on any problems that they may have. They cant personally help with things, except suggest a home visit to you, to talk through any worries you may have, which is a fat lot of good I am sure.!

ditalini · 04/11/2021 15:40

My church sometimes helps people out with a little bit of cash, plus hot drink and food, as well as signposting to other sources of help if they turn up when the building is open (so before/after service on Sunday, Tuesday, Saturday).

julieca · 04/11/2021 16:12

@inflatableseahorses

I always find this slightly odd as the churches around her are always locked unless unlocked for a service or because there is a playgroup or something going on and the massive vicarages next door to the churches are no longer inhabited by the vicar who instead lives in a modern non-descript house a few miles away. So I'm not sure who you'd actually ask for help.
That is the same where I live. But maybe it is different in leafy well-off areas.
OP posts:
gogohm · 04/11/2021 16:24

We gather donations for the local area food bank who are in a position to provide help to families. I work alone so it simply isn't possible for me to verify the need of the person asking for help, provide money or food (from where, funded by whom?) etc. My old work had drug addicts and alcoholics knocking daily, I had an intercom and didn't let anyone in without an appointment but we funded a drop in once a week for hot food and gave out clothing there.

gogohm · 04/11/2021 16:30

@julieca

But we can help refer you the agencies that can help, the food bank has £5 utility cards available for instance. I sit and do benefit claim forms with people who can't do them online themselves and I'm a debt counsellor. We don't give out cash ever because we don't know who you are and whether you are telling the truth about why you need money, you may be honest, not everyone is.

womaninatightspot · 04/11/2021 16:39

@Hardbackwriter

So if someone like this who was not known, turned up at their local church would they really get help with their heating bills? Because I simply can't see it happening

Realistically I agree that no, a church isn't going to give a random person cash. But then no other charity is either, is it?

I know our local church will do one off grants of up to 100 quid for locals in need. It was publicised in a round robin community email during covid but apparently it's a long standing thing.
SarahAndQuack · 04/11/2021 17:46

@inflatableseahorses

I always find this slightly odd as the churches around her are always locked unless unlocked for a service or because there is a playgroup or something going on and the massive vicarages next door to the churches are no longer inhabited by the vicar who instead lives in a modern non-descript house a few miles away. So I'm not sure who you'd actually ask for help.
Why would you be incapable of asking the vicar for help because she or he doesn't live in a fancy house? Confused

Would you not just go during opening hours, like, you know, you would anywhere else?

Lessstressedhemum · 04/11/2021 17:48

Well, as I said, our minister has access to a fund that he can use at his discretion to help people who knock on the manse door. Our church is in an area of high deprivation, not in a leafy suburb or anything like that.
The church is not open routinely through the week, except for foodbank etc, but if it were open and someone turned up looking for help, they would never be turned away.

LaurieFairyCake · 04/11/2021 17:49

Our Ministers details are online

Yes our church would help you - standard Methodist church

Hm2020 · 04/11/2021 19:01

The mosque near me was giving anyone free bags of cooked vegetarian food to anyone during covid they stood outside at lunchtimes and asked how many people you had at home. My church takes in homeless people to the basement next door and also runs soup kitchens from there. I knew of a family with a disabled child and bad addiction problems think mum and step dad on crack and heroin and about 5 primary aged children they said the church was helping them I don’t know how didn’t want to pry. I’m not sure how it works my Ds is in church school school and we lightly attend church and are relatively poor in desperation church wouldn’t be the first place I’d think to ask. Children centres are great for things like knowing charity who give out grants for things they are very area dependent though.

TheMooch · 04/11/2021 19:15

Our church can help.

The caretaker who lives next to the church has £50 on standby for emergency callers.

All those who ask have been helped and identified by others in needing help.

There's a meal train set up where different people take meals for the person/family. And a 'chat group who basically ensure anyone who might be lonely (have loved ones in hospital etc) has someone to chat to, help them out with e.g transport.

There's the food bags which have enough to get through the week.

The knitting group kit everyone in hats, scarves, gloves, blankets, Knitted toys etc.

Plenty of coffee mornings in the week with cake, and there's a person who sources out clothing e.g school uniforms, winter coats, clothing for going into hospital etc..

I know a family who were in a desperate financial situation and one night an envelope was posted through their door with several hundred pounds in. It was from a few at church who'd been hugely upset at their situation.

Some churches do loads out in the community

Teaandakitkat · 04/11/2021 19:31

Our minister has a small fund of cash and would give you maybe £20 for a night's heating. He wouldn't just hand over more cash than that. He has bags of food in his house if anyone knocks, he would bring you in for a cup of tea and a chat and would point you in the right direction for more help. I have known him to pay for a Premier Inn for a night.

So he wouldn't hand over vast sums of money to fix all your problems but he would make sure you were safe and warm and fed at that time and he would encourage you to talk to him more in the following days.

You could show up to our community cafe for cheap warm food, nearly new shop for cheap warm clothing, food co-op to buy cheap food and other supplies like toilet rolls and light bulbs. I know they sell lightbulbs for 10p because rhey find people want to pay when they can, but if you didn't have 10p they would give you one anyway.

Churches are not perfect, some will do nothing at all, but others are out there opening their doors and trying to help wherever they can.

It's got to be worth a try?

Albless · 04/11/2021 19:43

I’m a parish minister and have twice lived in the house next to the church so did get people knocking on my door. I took pps comment about ministers staying further away to mean they weren’t easy to find. I have taken people in and fed them, given them food to take home, and have given cash and clothing and advice about who else might be able to help. I have also had a couple of slightly nerve-wracking experiences with men turning up late at night, and clearly dodgy. I’ve also had windows broken twice - after offering food or advice rather than money when I felt things weren’t quite right.

For a couple of years I worked in a Christian outreach centre with a cafe twice a week and anyone who came and said they had no money would receive a free hot meal and drink. In that town, a free hot meal was available from a church - different denominations - 7 days a week to anyone in need. One of the churches set up a charity, supported by many other churches so they can offer a range of support services and connect with people with, for example health care professionals, citizens advice, addiction services, benefits advisors, housing officers, etc. And then you’ve also got church run projects which help people decorate, equip and furnish a new home, provide support for children and young families.

And yes, as already mentioned, Christians Against Poverty do a huge amount of work. And there’s food banks, many, if not most, of which are run by church or other faith groups.

But hey, we’re all just losers who believe in sky fairies! Hmm

MargaretThursday · 04/11/2021 21:03

I work at a church.
We would not give out cash, simply because we get people asking regularly. If you give to one, it very quickly becomes known.

One of our volunteers gave some of their cash one morning to someone who "needed just to get to X to visit their dying mum". Next day we had four people, day after we had seven... Getting increasingly aggressive and the original person was back on day three although this time it was their dad...
People aren't honest simply because they've walked into a church. The week before we went into the first lockdown we got through a month's supply of toilet roll in about three days. A church is seen as fair game.

There is often an attitude that the church must give people what they want or it isn't "Christian".
And that goes from everything from not giving cash through to not immediately finding them somewhere to live permanently. People have expected sleeping bags, cars, furniture, speeding fine paid off, dining room table and chairs, go round and redecorate (us providing all the stuff) and much more at the drop of a hat with only their word and no checks done.

If someone comes and asks for prayer it's probably slightly greater than 50% that ask for money by the end.

What we do do is have a list of places that we can refer people to. The church donates directly to them and they help people from everything from food bank through to grants for furniture and heating bills, helping to find accommodation etc.

We did free meals for all last year over half term, we have a basic emergency food bag we can give to tide someone over, we can give a hot drink and occasionally a meal.
We have found second hand furniture, and helped people get school unform.

But we cannot just give out money. And that does often mean we are met with abuse for not just giving out what they want.

What people also don't see is that the church isn't sitting on money. There isn't spare to hand out to all who ask.

It would actually be easier just to hand over cash when someone asks. Gives you a nice glow inside and quick, easy and you don't get abused. But it isn't the best thing to do.
By referring them onto the places that specialise in helping them you are not just sending them to get what they're after if it's appropriate but also the trained knowledge and assistance of the people who run that service. That's better than sending them away with cash, or a hot meal when by tomorrow that will have gone and they'll need more.

I hope that explains a little for you.

NiceGerbil · 04/11/2021 21:11

I know what you mean OP that in theory that's a thing supposed to do.

Some churches do still keep open door food shelter type thing I've seen them in the news.

Used to always be open I think as part of the underlying religious principles etc but silver getting nicked put paid to that years ago.

I think maybe there is quieter stuff going on.

Eg I have a... Stop and chat relationship with a man who sleeps rough on our high Street. He has mentioned that he gets shelter food at RC church. I've not asked the details. But that shows something going on iyswim.

NiceGerbil · 04/11/2021 21:14

There's a charity called st mungo my mum has always supported- for rough sleepers of the group that are v difficult and don't get much sympathy.

There's other things like that around as well I'm sure.

And that just reminded me of a man I know vv religious who does something with others out and about that he's got recognition for. And I can't see the point at all. They go around in uniforms though and I'm sure it makes them feel good iyswim. That sort of thing annoys me.

NiceGerbil · 04/11/2021 21:18

Just looked the thing up website sounds potentially more useful than what this guy does!

Still.

julieca · 04/11/2021 21:19

To be clear I wasn't being critical. All the churches around me are locked when there is nothing organised happening. One runs a foodbank. I don't expect to be able to go to a church and get money. But it is often suggested on MN.

OP posts:
NiceGerbil · 04/11/2021 21:21

Some info on stuff - plenty more on Google.

Think this site gives info from any religion quick squiz saw churches and a mosque.

www.thepavement.org.uk/services?service=14&city=1&page=2

julieca · 04/11/2021 21:21

@NiceGerbil Yes I know St Mungos gives a lot of help to homeless people. Some denominations have a stronger ethos of community work than others.

OP posts:
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