So many kids growing up in the spotlight

[Greentrees2021]

I was pondering tonight how when I was young (80s) there were not a lot of famous kids. It's long been a belief that kids growing up in the public eye have a hard time of things e.g. the Royal kids, child actors etc.
But nowadays I'm starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable about how many children I know from social media and I could tell you infinitely more things about these kids than I ever could have about Macauly Culkin. I wonder if sometimes the parents regret that they started posting about their kids when they were cute babies with the future seeming far away in the distance but now they can't take it back.
For example, the McFly families. It felt like they started posting cute things about their kids as byproducts of their parenting journeys. But now the kids are older, very recognisable and so much of their childhoods have been documented and shared. How do parents undo this? It feels like once you've started down this road, you can't take it back.
I was a very shy child and would have absolutely hated my parents to share things about me with the world. Are we heading to a future with a lot of children who will have been damaged by this?

And yet nobody here has mentioned poor Azaylia Cain, who was paraded around on SM until literally her dying day. I will never forget the sight of her being bounced around and chanted at, days from death, bleeding from the eyes, while her parents recorded content for the gram.

@Dragonfire282

SarahAndQuack You're just being rude now. There's no need to call people silly. We're having a conversation, one that needs to happen more often. You can disagree and argue your point but name calling is unnecessary.

I thought your post was pretty rude TBH. So maybe we're both just rubbing each other up the wrong way.

I think what bothers me about this conversation is the way it's reinventing the wheel. People always worry that modern life is going to damage children, and the best thing to do is to keep children away from scary new technology. I don't think that's always right.

People always worry that modern life is going to damage children, and the best thing to do is to keep children away from scary new technology. I don't think that's always right.

Surely you see there is a difference between keeping kids away from scary social media and actively exploiting your child to earn money by selling their lives as daily vlog content online without their consent.

All we can do is to show our DC how to use the Internet wisely and explain they need to be very careful what they, themselves share. Because you cannot take it back once it's out there.

But I don't know how you can save the DC whose parents insist on putting everything out there from it all.

@PinkWaferBiscuit

People always worry that modern life is going to damage children, and the best thing to do is to keep children away from scary new technology. I don't think that's always right.

Surely you see there is a difference between keeping kids away from scary social media and actively exploiting your child to earn money by selling their lives as daily vlog content online without their consent.

I do, sure. I've said several times I think there are problems with the way some people do social media. But the OP isn't only about parents who exploit their children in that way. And, I would point out, parents who exploit their children are not new. Long before the internet, there were parents who pushed their children into beauty pageants and child modelling and all sorts. I am not sure the internet does anything except provide a different forum for bad parents to show they're bad parents?

Long before the internet, there were parents who pushed their children into beauty pageants and child modelling and all sorts. I am not sure the internet does anything except provide a different forum for bad parents to show they're bad parents?

Of course some parents have always exploited their children but social media makes that so much more public. Also there is a vast difference between a child choosing to perform in a pageant or modelling job than one who is basically forced to do so on social media. It's very unlikely the pageant or modelling job are the parents sole income but for some of these families the exploitation of their children is how the bills are paid so I can imagine even if a child didn't want to participate they wouldn't have much choice.

@picketingpanic

And yet nobody here has mentioned poor Azaylia Cain, who was paraded around on SM until literally her dying day. I will never forget the sight of her being bounced around and chanted at, days from death, bleeding from the eyes, while her parents recorded content for the gram.

I didn’t see any of it, but from snippets in the press, it sounded pretty terrible.

I don’t care how i made my money. If my baby was sick and dying, putting them on social media would be the last thing I’d think of.

At the time I was lambasted for being cruel for pointing out how sick it all was.

Yes, I am comparing different things, which illustrate that people's ideas about what's socially appropriate often change as technology changes.

Yep. And in twenty years our kids will be doing something we think is socially unacceptable and berating them for it. We can't judge how they will react to things that have happened based on what we think we would have done, because their own lives are often lived at least partially online too so they will view it through a different lense.

Also there is a vast difference between a child choosing to perform in a pageant

"Choice" is an interesting word here. According to some here, children can't emotionally consent to being posted on the internet, but they can (apparently) to being dressed up like a mini adult and flaunting themselves in a pageant, subjecting themselves to being judged against their peers as to who is the best? I'm certain I know which is worse for a child and it isn't having a funny picture of them on the internet.

It's not just funny pictures though. It's their whole life documented daily warts and all, to be watched by anyone that wants to look.

I'm not familiar with the world of beauty pageants (apart from a series a few years ago about one in the US) they are not a thing in these parts.

"Choice" is an interesting word here. According to some here, children can't emotionally consent to being posted on the internet, but they can (apparently) to being dressed up like a mini adult and flaunting themselves in a pageant, subjecting themselves to being judged against their peers as to who is the best? I'm certain I know which is worse for a child and it isn't having a funny picture of them on the internet.

I used the word choice because we all know if a child doesn't want to do something like dress up and pose on stage then they will most likely refuse. This element of choice is removed when your entire families income is based on you being filmed or intimate information about yourself is shared on social media because it's what pays the bills.

Obviously neither is a good choice and I also loath pageants but looking at it objectively as an adult I'd much rather have done a few pageants as a toddler than have every moment of my life published online for the world to see since I was born.

@WildWombat

The odd post on a public profile is one thing. Like the Cambridges who only release official pictures and never give anything away. Or carefully controlled posts. Georgia Tennant, for instance, blocks her kids' faces out and keeps it all pretty generic. But all these influencers who document every darn thing to the world are obviously taking inspiration from all the ghastly reality shows on TLC where cameras follow people around all the time. Are they trying to get famous? Or copying their own TV idols? It's tragic for the poor children.

I find the Tennants really annoying for this - won't show kids faces on social media but are happy to push their 10 year old into acting?? Very strange double standard.

Also I don't stand for anything about the child wanting to act - she may want to act, but a responsible parent in my opinion would never let their child enter that world until they are of an age to properly make the decision. Its irresponsible.

I thought your post was pretty rude TBH. So maybe we're both just rubbing each other up the wrong way I apologise if you thought I came across as rude, that wasn't my intention this is just something I feel very passionate about and i don't think it's fair to call someone silly.

I think what bothers me about this conversation is the way it's reinventing the wheel. Peoplealwaysworry that modern life is going to damage children, and the best thing to do is to keep children away from scary new technology. I don't think that's always right

I don't think anyone on this thread is is suggesting that at all. My DS has Instagram and YouTube, he uses it for his mountain biking, it's an absolutely brilliant source of information.

@Sparklingbrook

It's not just funny pictures though. It's their whole life documented daily warts and all, to be watched by anyone that wants to look.

I'm not familiar with the world of beauty pageants (apart from a series a few years ago about one in the US) they are not a thing in these parts.

But you're saying that as if most parents in your social circle are putting their children's every living minute on social media and getting rich from the proceeds. I'm sure that can't be true.

Parents who exploit their children are a minority, but they've always existed and they've always, I'm afraid, found ways to do what they do.

@PinkWaferBiscuit - I don't see any difference at all between 'do you want mummy to put this picture of you on insta! Of course you do!" and 'do you want to compete in the talent show/ do baby modelling? Of course you do!'

I should imagine there are as many parents earning money from putting their children on instagram as there ever have been parents earning money from getting their children to do modelling, or acting, or whatever. That's to say - it's the very few, but those few are quite visible to us. Take Britney Spears. Her father quite clearly shows the same traits the parents we're criticising show, using social media - but it's the same dynamic. But I don't think it has anything to do with the vast majority of parents' choices.

@Dragonfire282

I thought your post was pretty rude TBH. So maybe we're both just rubbing each other up the wrong way I apologise if you thought I came across as rude, that wasn't my intention this is just something I feel very passionate about and i don't think it's fair to call someone silly.

I think what bothers me about this conversation is the way it's reinventing the wheel. Peoplealwaysworry that modern life is going to damage children, and the best thing to do is to keep children away from scary new technology. I don't think that's always right

I don't think anyone on this thread is is suggesting that at all. My DS has Instagram and YouTube, he uses it for his mountain biking, it's an absolutely brilliant source of information.

I'm sorry I offended you with 'silly'. I just meant, it's daft to make out that the standard advice to children is 'don't post on the social media forums' - it's an exaggeration. There's a lot of advice about safe internet use out there; I have never heard of any credible person, in a position of responsibility for children, who thinks a blanket social media ban is the answer. But I think from the second part of your post, you don't think so either? So I am confused. You said that, when my teachers told us not to post on social media forums, that was 'the right thing to do' and the same as current advice. Now you're saying your child uses some social media forums and they're good.

It is the name of the game these days, with social media, and so many people , totally addicted, to putting themselves out there all the time. So called celebrities, have to post photo's of their children, their houses and gardens, their holidays,. all making money for the photo shoots.

Katie Price has done a fair amount of sharing photo's of her various children and homes,and Husbands etc. I guess all the children are used to it all now, and how it affects them, I would not know.

I think the point isn't about normal folk putting pictures on their social media for their friends to see, it's about people, "influences", sharing every minute detail about their children to hundreds of thousands of strangers.
The woman I was talking about earlier, I know her 12 year old daughter's period cycle, I know she uses a certain brand of period pants and that she prefers to wear them all the time. I know she has been bullied, she has high anxiety, she hates her spotty skin.
I know her 17 year old daughter sleeps in a shed in her garden, the whole layout of her house.
I know her eldest stepson keeps getting detentions at school, her younger stepson has been in isolation. I know why they were removed from their mother.
I've seen her 2 year old naked in the bath, seen him have sensory meltdowns and being laughed at.
I shouldn't know any of this.
And this woman is in charge of a centre for domestic abuse victims so surely should have had safeguarding training.
It's disgusting how the children are used to make her money.

But you're saying that as if most parents in your social circle are putting their children's every living minute on social media and getting rich from the proceeds. I'm sure that can't be true

Where have i said that? I don't have anyone in my 'social circle' that exploits their children for money on Instagram.
The 'kids growing up in the spotlight' (referring back to the actual OP) belong to celebrities and people who aspire to be celebrities.

I think the point isn't about normal folk putting pictures on their social media for their friends to see, it's about people, "influences", sharing every minute detail about their children to hundreds of thousands of strangers

Yes if any of my actual friends on Instagram started doing it I would be most surprised and be clicking 'unfollow' fairly swiftly. But as far as I'm aware none of them are looking to build up a huge social media following with a view to making money out of their DC...

@Sparklingbrook

But you're saying that as if most parents in your social circle are putting their children's every living minute on social media and getting rich from the proceeds. I'm sure that can't be true

Where have i said that? I don't have anyone in my 'social circle' that exploits their children for money on Instagram.
The 'kids growing up in the spotlight' (referring back to the actual OP) belong to celebrities and people who aspire to be celebrities.

I said 'you're saying that as if'. Not 'you're saying'.

You're saying that beauty pageants are 'not a thing in these parts' as if, in your world, every mum is rushing to exploit their children on instagram.

Actually, neither beauty pageants for children nor instagrammers exploiting their children are that common. It's not even that common amongst celebs, as a couple of posts on this thread observe.

That doesn't mean it isn't a problem when people do awful things, like @wheresmyhairytoe describes. But it does mean that you can't make the argument this is radically different from the other types of parental exploitation of children I was describing, which you say are different because they're not very common.

Actually, neither beauty pageants for children nor instagrammers exploiting their children are that common. It's not even that common amongst celebs, as a couple of posts on this thread observe.

I think if you looked you'd be very surprised at just how many parents are actually exposing every part of their child's life on social media. Even if they don't have a cult huge following they are still sharing every part of their children's lives in the hope of making it. These posts and videos will still be out there in decades to come even if the parent never gets famous.

@PinkWaferBiscuit

Actually, neither beauty pageants for children nor instagrammers exploiting their children are that common. It's not even that common amongst celebs, as a couple of posts on this thread observe.

I think if you looked you'd be very surprised at just how many parents are actually exposing every part of their child's life on social media. Even if they don't have a cult huge following they are still sharing every part of their children's lives in the hope of making it. These posts and videos will still be out there in decades to come even if the parent never gets famous.

I don't think I would be, TBH (maybe?), but I think suspect you and I differ on what we'd consider to be a normal amount to share online. Nor do I think anyone will be looking for perfectly ordinary posts and videos of perfectly ordinary children in decades to come.

There’s a generation of YouTubers that started posting on that platform as teens / early 20s 10+ years and gained substantial followings. I always wondered what they’d do if they had their own DC and now some of them have started having children, they’ve continued to upload as if their DC are accessories to their channels. Not fair on the DC.

SarahAndQuack I really don't think you're understanding who the OP is referring to. We're also talking about the psychological damage this will do to the children which is happening right now, even if Instagram doesn't exist in 20 years, as I said previously the damage is already done.

I think it is common but why would it even matter if it isn't? If its hurting 1 child or a million children it doesn't make it any less wrong.

I should imagine there are as many parents earning money from putting their children on instagram as there ever have been parents earning money from getting their children to do modelling, or acting, or whatever I completely disagree. It's now far easier for people to exploit their children. They can do it from the comfort of their own home home and their children don't need any kind of talent. Another important point is that they're also being viewed on a far greater scale. How many paedophiles would have access to a child pagent/modelling contest? How many paedophiles have access to a child being filmed potty training and put on YouTube? ALL OF THEM