So many kids growing up in the spotlight

[Greentrees2021]

I was pondering tonight how when I was young (80s) there were not a lot of famous kids. It's long been a belief that kids growing up in the public eye have a hard time of things e.g. the Royal kids, child actors etc.
But nowadays I'm starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable about how many children I know from social media and I could tell you infinitely more things about these kids than I ever could have about Macauly Culkin. I wonder if sometimes the parents regret that they started posting about their kids when they were cute babies with the future seeming far away in the distance but now they can't take it back.
For example, the McFly families. It felt like they started posting cute things about their kids as byproducts of their parenting journeys. But now the kids are older, very recognisable and so much of their childhoods have been documented and shared. How do parents undo this? It feels like once you've started down this road, you can't take it back.
I was a very shy child and would have absolutely hated my parents to share things about me with the world. Are we heading to a future with a lot of children who will have been damaged by this?

My children aren’t on social media because I don’t have it.

But my 7 year old wouldn’t even mention it anyway. It baffles me how even such young children are even aware that “friends and cousins” are featured on social media. Says a lot about the parents use of it and how important it is on their lives.

@Dragonfire282

SarahAndQuack I think you're missing a very important element and that is consent. What you decided to post about yourself on live journal was up to you. We're talking about parents photographing and filming their children and posting them on huge social media platforms, without a child's consent or at least informed consent for monetary gain. What a parent might think is cute and endearing, a child may be mortified by when they're an adult. The OP is also talking about these children then becoming famous and having a following in their own right, not for any given talent but because their parents are turning their lives into the Trueman show. Also, you're comparing Instagram to 'live journal'. Instagram is a huge platform, it's not going anywhere. It's not going to become defunct anytime soon it's far more established than LJ ever was.

I do see this point to an extent, but generally, teenagers aren't considered mature enough to give informed consent on all sorts of things, are they? So it's a spectrum rather than a clear-cut difference.

I think it's naive to imagine Instagram will be around forever. Again, that's what people thought about LJ and now it seems ridiculous.

During half term a friend and I took our dc to a local attraction. We were wandering around and my friend commented ‘xxxxx must be here, they’re her boys’.

I assumed she was talking about a friend, but she was actually referring to a lady she follows. I don’t use instagram, so I have no idea how high profile this person is, but they’re certainly not a celebrity. The fact that random people are able to recognise her children, even without being able to see her, was genuinely quite shocking to me.

@Dragonfire282

Yes, I am comparing different things, which illustrate that people's ideas about what's socially appropriate often change as technology changes That doesn't make it right! People are caught up in SM, we're in the thick of it but there will be a moment of clarity, probably not until this used generation are adults and are living with the consequence of their parents actions. The adults who advised you not to post on live journal were absolutely correct to do so. You were just lucky that that particular platform didn't take off or that for you personally it didn't have any repercussions but we have seen celebrities cancelled for things they wrote on twitter pre fame. We also know that employers check social media accounts of potential employees before hiring them. Imagine being the child of a family YouTube, going for your first professional job and your interviewer can go away and watch you potty training, having tantrums, using sanitary protection for the first time etc.

It's parental abuse.

YY, I know ethics is separate from convention, but I still think it's important to take into account what role convention plays here.

No, the adults weren't 'right' to advise me or anyone else not to post on LJ. They just didn't yet understand how social media was going to develop and change, and they had some excuse because it was pretty early days of the internet. I think there's less excuse now, TBH.

Yes, of course people should think twice about posting things their children might find embarrassing. Yes, some people get it badly wrong. But I think there is also a risk to presuming that we can turn the clock back to a pre-social-media age, each of us individually.

That’s exactly the point. You can’t turn the clock back, so be very very careful what you put out there.
Because you can’t get it back. 🤷‍♀️

SarahAndQuack but LJ never had the audience that Insta already has. Even if Instagram/youtube vanished into a puff of smoke the damage is done to these kids who have already lost their anonymity. I think you might be naive to whats actually going on on some of these platforms.

There is one particular family (I'm not sure if I'm able to say their name on here as they get litigous) whose Dd has just turned 16, she has spent most of her childhood on YouTube and Insta as part of this 'Family Adventure'. During that time there has been a fair bit of controversy with the stepdad, she was taken out of school, they travel the 'world' lately in a converted DPD van. All you see her doing is looking after the younger ones. She seems distrustful of anyone outside her family posting that friends are 'overrated'. It is so sad. Their whole life is about making 'memories' I.e money making content for their vlog. The youngest boy has grown up on Youtube literally from birth. He often doesn't look at his parents when they talk to him but the camera and often says 'film me'. They have sold a baby doll to represent him for their 'fans' .
Over the past year they have vlogged about their daughter's periods, mental health issues, self-esteem most days. You rarely see them with anyone outside of the family. They could well be having money issues...one of their latest vlogs they complained about spending 5pounds a day to upload to Youtube. Views seem to be falling day by day.
It is almost like a strange sociological experiment. What is this 16 year old going to do when the family business fails? There is such a lack of socialisation, she seems scared of the outside world.

No, the adults weren't 'right' to advise me or anyone else not to post on LJ. They just didn't yet understand how social media was going to develop and change, and they had some excuse because it was pretty early days of the internet. I think there's less excuse now, TBH

Exactly, they were trying to protect you from something completely unknown which was absolutely the right thing to do. The advice given to children today is exactly the same!!

Yes, of course people should think twice about posting things their children might find embarrassing. Yes, some people get it badly wrong. But I think there is also a risk to presuming that we can turn the clock back to a pre-social-media age, each of us individually so are these SM platforms going to vanish or can we not turn the clock back? You're contradicting yourself. SM is here to stay and if there's parents out there getting it badly wrong then something needs to be done to protect those children.

I’m so hoping (probably against the odds) that all this insta influencer dross will become a thing/s of the past- why do people follow this sh!t?….so many better & more fulfilling ways to do escapism than by lining the pockets of these people. Will be interesting whether any modern ‘sleb offspring do anything other than live off their parents - Brooklyn Beckham as an example, quite obviously talentless & workshy…just why are people interested?!

FanOfBlue I know who you're talking about. They're the absolute worst. The dad was caught up in scandal a few years ago wasn't he, that all seems to have been brushed under the carpet and forgotten about by their 'fans'. Kids now being dragged around the world, not being schooled. It's appalling.

@Dragonfire282

FanOfBlue I know who you're talking about. They're the absolute worst. The dad was caught up in scandal a few years ago wasn't he, that all seems to have been brushed under the carpet and forgotten about by their 'fans'. Kids now being dragged around the world, not being schooled. It's appalling.

I can't actually believe that YouTube continue to allow them to make money through the platform.

Their desperation to make money through YouTube will have a very real impact on their kids lives. Apparently the employment laws re: how much time spent on camera /rehearsing etc don't count for Youtubers. A lot of it is drivel....going to lovely European cities and spending time in Primark, Shein hauls etc. How can there be no laws to protect these kids?

Ooh, I would suggest you read "Everything's perfect" by Nicole Kennedy. Book is a bit clunky in places but does cover someone who's a mummy Instagrammer who's monitarised her children and family life. Our book club had a v good talk after it and was interesting those who had teens who now have their own social media accounts arent happy with some of the little kids photos of them.

Theres a local mummy blogger /Instagrammer who has shared everything about her kids childhoods, including 1st period and SEN issues. Her eldest is now at secondary and I do wonder what would happen if friends find her mums accounts, she has no privacy.

I have had a look at livejournal out of curiosity. Founded in 1999 and still there (much like Mumsnet)Site seems a bit confusing but it's anonymous by the looks of it.

Very different to what is being referred to on this thread in terms of showing hundred of pictures under your own name each day.

@Dragonfire282

SarahAndQuack but LJ never had the audience that Insta already has. Even if Instagram/youtube vanished into a puff of smoke the damage is done to these kids who have already lost their anonymity. I think you might be naive to whats actually going on on some of these platforms.

I am not saying instagram is identical to livejournal, though.

I do agree with you some of what is going on, on some of these platforms, isn't right. I've already made that point, right?

But I think we do need to take into account how attitudes and perceptions shift. That's all. Not a particularly complex point and I'm slightly bemused it's stirred up so many responses! It was only meant to be an observation, not a polemic.

@Sparklingbrook

I have had a look at livejournal out of curiosity. Founded in 1999 and still there (much like Mumsnet)Site seems a bit confusing but it's anonymous by the looks of it.

Very different to what is being referred to on this thread in terms of showing hundred of pictures under your own name each day.

FGS.

Yes, they're different.

Do you genuinely not understand the nature of a comparison?

Sorry to sound snappy but it's irritating me that you seem massively keen to nit-pick about different types of internet forum rather than actually telling me why you disagree with my point.

I agree with previous posters who have said in 15-30 years therapy will be full of child who had their whole lives depicted on some for of social media.

I also strongly suspect and hope that many of these 'child stars' will sue their parents for the proceeds made from being exploited online and their lives made into blog content. Because even though I'm not a betting sort of Women, I'd wager that none of these adults profiting from their children are saving the pennies for their child's future.

Do you genuinely not understand the nature of a comparison?

Not the comparison between livejournal and celebrities posting pictures of their non consenting DC on Instagram, no.

No need to be snappy.

I wonder how it affects schools and their teaching of online safety. How do you explain to a child not to talk to strangers, have profiles set privately and be careful when their parents show them off to random people on the internet and often call them friends. It's very concerning that they won't understand risks of the internet

@PinkWaferBiscuit

I agree with previous posters who have said in 15-30 years therapy will be full of child who had their whole lives depicted on some for of social media.

I also strongly suspect and hope that many of these 'child stars' will sue their parents for the proceeds made from being exploited online and their lives made into blog content. Because even though I'm not a betting sort of Women, I'd wager that none of these adults profiting from their children are saving the pennies for their child's future.

I wonder about any potential future partners of these over exposed children. Strange to possibly know everything, and no getting to know each other, they may have already seen it all.

@Dragonfire282

No, the adults weren't 'right' to advise me or anyone else not to post on LJ. They just didn't yet understand how social media was going to develop and change, and they had some excuse because it was pretty early days of the internet. I think there's less excuse now, TBH

Exactly, they were trying to protect you from something completely unknown which was absolutely the right thing to do. The advice given to children today is exactly the same!!

Yes, of course people should think twice about posting things their children might find embarrassing. Yes, some people get it badly wrong. But I think there is also a risk to presuming that we can turn the clock back to a pre-social-media age, each of us individually so are these SM platforms going to vanish or can we not turn the clock back? You're contradicting yourself. SM is here to stay and if there's parents out there getting it badly wrong then something needs to be done to protect those children.

No, the advice today is not 'do not post on internet forums'. Don't be so silly.

How on earth is me observing that social media forums become obsolete anything to do with turning the clock back? They're two different things.

I wonder about any potential future partners of these over exposed children.
Strange to possibly know everything, and no getting to know each other, they may have already seen it all.

I suspect none of the parents have had the forethought to consider these sort of questions. However sadly it is likely to prove an obstacle in future for some of these children. Can you imagine going home after a first date, mindlessly googling the person and being able to access 'content' detailing everything about their childhood!

Exactly @PinkWaferBiscuit, it would be so bizarre. No need to ask if they have brothers or sisters, what their favourite food is, where they've travelled to etc
Their whole life for all to see, and they had absolutely no say in it.

SarahAndQuack You're just being rude now. There's no need to call people silly. We're having a conversation, one that needs to happen more often. You can disagree and argue your point but name calling is unnecessary.

I know exactly what you mean OP and I think it’s awful. Once these children become adults and realise what was done to them I think we will start hearing another side to it. I like watching YouTube videos but have had to stop watching certain people who have had children and then feature them in their content and over share every aspect of their life. It just seems really unhealthy and exploitative.

@Sparklingbrook

Exactly *@PinkWaferBiscuit*, it would be so bizarre. No need to ask if they have brothers or sisters, what their favourite food is, where they've travelled to etc Their whole life for all to see, and they had absolutely no say in it.

Like I said a therapy epidemic waiting to happen!

It completely baffles me in this day and age people are so blasé online about their children and that some parents actively use their kids for this purpose. In my opinion it's abusive. A good parent is not one who plasters their children's entire lives online for the world to see without my consent.