WWYD if your partner said....

[itsme1978]

"I'd be much more attracted to you if you were in better shape".........?!

I'd be more attracted to you if you were less rude

Or... That's awkward, because you could do all the burpees in the world and I'd still think you were a knob

Why do you think I want to be attractive to you? It's not my life's goal or anything

Omg! It is awful for anyone to say that to their partner.

I wouldn’t want to stay with someone who thought so little of me.
DH has always adored me fat or thin. Even when I was moaning about my blubber and fat rolls he’d squeeze me and tell me ‘I think your gorgeous’.

Be thankful! I am very out of shape and I know it. Truthfully I think if he told me that it would be the push I needed, not so he would be more attracted to me, more a case of "I'll show you"!!

Have you looked in the mirror recently, mate? Daniel Craig, you ain't.

I suppose he's a real Adonis is he.

It would depend if I felt I had let myself go unreasonably. My DH and I try to motivate each other to keep in shape. After lockdown he mentioned that I looked like I’d put in weight and I had. It was upsetting but honestly I knew and it gave me the motivation to sort it out.

Out of the blue? Yeah.. good luck with that mate.

As an answer to a question I asked or prompted by me in some way, then totally fair enough. Wouldn't necessarily mean I'd change anything, but I'd accept his opinion/view.

My ex used to say that - note the ex bit.

It really knocked my confidence and self esteem. It was a slow roll into daily abuse which nearly broke me.

I would be hurt and it would destroy my confidence.
Deep down I know DH feels like this but he's never said anything.

"My fanny's just slammed shut thanks to your comment, so my size and your attraction to me is immaterial."

"Oh, sod off."

“I would be much more attracted to you if you shut the hell up “.

“Ok. I can lose (whatever he weighs) by tomorrow. Pack your things” .

Then help him take a pillow and blanket to the sofa.

I’d try to understand what they meant by it. Is it entirely me being out of shape or is it a symptom of me not caring about my body and self, ergo generally being depressed etc. have I always been in shape or is it symptomatic of something else. Are they saying it meanly or with good intentions.

Or are they saying it to be a controlling arsehole and neg me? What is the intent?!

@Mantlemoose

Be thankful! I am very out of shape and I know it. Truthfully I think if he told me that it would be the push I needed, not so he would be more attracted to me, more a case of "I'll show you"!!

You're joking, of course?

Time to knock this one on the head methinks.

I would tell him that he is unattractive and then I'd never want to be near him again.

Unless he is Giovanni Pernice, I'd tell him to Fuck Off.

I would say that to some men, if they were in bad shape., as in paunchy and blobby, and unkempt looking.

@Palavah

Or... That's awkward, because you could do all the burpees in the world and I'd still think you were a knob

Perfect

Actually, even if he was gorgeousness personified... I'd still tell him to fuck off. If he doesn't like it, he knows where the door is.

I know I am not very refined but I would just go with 'fuck off'.

And I would mean it.

Everything is relevant. Are you much more out of shape compared to when you met? Is that due to carrying and birthing his children? If so, that puts a different spin on things.

But it's not wrong to find certain body types unattractive. So, if you're really honest with yourself, have you changed shape? Massive caveat though - if that's due to pregnancy/childbirth he can jog on, unless he's prepared to stay home with the kids while you hit the gym.

relative not relevant