WWYD if your partner said....

[itsme1978]

"I'd be much more attracted to you if you were in better shape".........?!

I have put a lot of weight on but I was underweight when I met him
I do need to be healthier and exercise and lose weight but if it was meant to kick start me into doing these, it's totally backfired. I'm ashamed and angry

If my partner said that to me I’d think it was fair enough as I have rather let myself go over the past few years and I know it wouldn’t be coming from a bad place. That definitely does not apply to all men though.

I'd appreciate the honesty. I've become fat and I know I'm less attractive, if he woukd say it rather than keep being nice it would help me. Works both ways, I woukd find him less attractive if he was fat

But if you know you have put weight on and that's not what he's attracted to, he's allowed to say that, he should be able to be honest with you.

He's not saying he loves you less, just less physically attracted to you, which is perfectly reasonable.

@itsme1978

I have put a lot of weight on but I was underweight when I met him I do need to be healthier and exercise and lose weight but if it was meant to kick start me into doing these, it's totally backfired. I'm ashamed and angry

How did he say it OP? Was it clumsy wording or was it thrown at you out of spite?

Don't be ashamed you're allowed to be hurt, but shame? No. You are more than your size and shape, and if he can't see that, fuck him.

What shape is he in physically?
Has he changed at all since you met?

Sorry but I’m with him. I’d find my bf more attractive if he lost weight and I’ve told him so. It’s not a crime not to find fat people attractive. If you’ve put on a lot of weight since you met he’s entitled to find that offputting.

My husband has never, would never, say such a thing (although I'm a LOT heavier than when we married 41 years ago.

I hope you hit him for that.

‘No amount of getting in shape will make your dick bigger’

I’d tell him thanks for letting me know.
Then I’d get in the best shape of my life. Then I’d dump him.

@Sparklfairy I’m with you on this one - context is everything behind a statement like that. And as the OP has been left feeling shame, then it clearly wasn’t said in a supporting and caring way, in which case, he is an absolute bellend. OP - you deserve better than being put down and belittled in this way

And as for the ‘I don’t like fat people’ type comments surfacing on here, this isn’t about someone’s ‘right’ not to find fat people attractive, this is about being a kind and considerate partner, and building each other up in a relationship, not putting them down.

I’d feel very hurt however it was said.
Over the years I’ve put on 6 stone. I’ve also lost 6 stone. I’m finally back to my ‘original’ weight now I’m in my 40’s. It has taken me years of chipping away at it.
If my DH had said anything like that to me, I’d be feeling pretty devastated.

'Thank fuck for that. It's working!'

Eh I was just going to say the same about your dick...

I'd be really shocked and probably have a cry tbh. That is not the sort of thing a loving partner says. I have no interest in being with someone so shallow and misogynistic to view my looks as the most important thing about me.

I am certain I'd be more turned off by this horrible attitude than he would be by my weight.

Was seeing someone for a very short while who was a complete arse. More a booty call than a proper relationship. I had known him for years and to be fair he had always been a prat.
However, he told me that he didn't love me, I replied that's good because it would be awkward, he also told me that he expected sex/Bjs when he wanted , I told him that if his dick was as big as his mouth I might think about it. And he did tell me that I was too fat. I told him that he knew where the door was and I wouldn't ask him to stay. One Saturday he said he was going to the pub at lunchtime to watch footie, asked me if I would drop him off and collect him on my way to and from the gym. I said sure. I dropped him off, picked up pies, chips and ice-cream and went to my friends for lunch, we had a great laugh. I collected him on the way back and he apolgised for being horrible and said that he was really proud of me for going to the gym. 🤣😂

I can't stand him seeing me naked now......he must be repulsed by me

@itsme1978

I can't stand him seeing me naked now......he must be repulsed by me

How can you stand seeing him at all when he's such a repulsive excuse for a human being?

@makelovenotpetrol

I think it's fair. My DH and I wouldn't dream of getting out of shape. I wouldn't feel attractive to myself let alone him.

Life happens. Accidents, illness, pregnancy...

Being a smug twat tends to occur before life happens.

@itsme1978

I can't stand him seeing me naked now......he must be repulsed by me

How long have you been with him?

I know it's not easy, but have a very serious think about your relationship. Loving partners fo not speak to you like that x