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Original poster

Do people not understand Halloween etiquette re trick or treating?

365 replies

Notcontent · 31/10/2021 17:44

I thought the rule was you only knock on doors where there are obvious decorations or lit pumpkins - basically an invitation to come?

We usually do it and have lots of sweets but I just didn’t feel up to it this year. Teen dd has gone out and it’s just me at home. No decorations at all. And some kids have just come knocking. Have now had to turn lights off at the font to make it look like no one is home!

OP posts:
maofteens · 31/10/2021 21:08

I'm in a new neighbourhood this year and expected a good turnout - I bought bags and bags of sweets and it was like those Halloween scenes in ET - lots of groups of mostly pretty young kids, a few younger teens, amazing costumes, excitedly going up and down the street. We ran out about 7pm so pumpkins in and lights off but still had a few knocking.

Buzzinwithbez · 31/10/2021 21:13

She said that this year they'd arranged to not have decorations outside, and for lanyards for the local village kids, and people would only open their doors to the kids wearing the village lanyards.

That's a shame for the sake of buying a few extra sweets.
A street in our town invited everyone over and raised a bit of money for charity while letting people enjoy the street.

Redwinestillfine · 31/10/2021 21:14

Definitely only decorated houses here, thems the rules 👻

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Shirazboobaloo · 31/10/2021 21:19

@Kanaloa

I mean did you never go out and trick or treat? If your ‘terrified’ by children in costumes knocking on your door then you need some help because it sounds like you’re seriously anxious.

Don't be dismissive of how people are feeling now or what they are experiencing.

Yep I did T/T in 80s and DC did it in 90s/00s - appreciated all those who opened doors and engaged with kids then BUT the rules have changed.

If you don't want to engage then no decorations is fine. I'm not sitting in the dark but I am absolutely fucked off with the persistent knocks and adults saying: "just knock again I'm sure I saw someone back there"

I am not answering the door as I have other shit to deal with - that doesn't make me anxious or afraid of costumes or terrified of costumes.

It makes me someone who has to get up at 4am to get a train, deal with palliative care for dying relative and organise work rotas for tomorrow. And also someone who has a frigging awful cold (not Covid) and just wants some respite

featheryfancy · 31/10/2021 21:21

This has been my first Halloween since moving and I'm impressed. Lots of knocks, all kids and parents very polite while the pumpkins were out.
Once we ran out of sweets, we brought the pumpkins in and turned the outside lights off, haven't heard peep since.
Such a good experience I'll be making double the effort next year!

heythereamigo · 31/10/2021 21:30

@SpookyS

I had no idea ToT tourism was a thing until my friend told me recently that it goes on in her nice friendly village, to the extent that they get dozens and dozens of knockers.

She said that this year they'd arranged to not have decorations outside, and for lanyards for the local village kids, and people would only open their doors to the kids wearing the village lanyards.

A couple of years ago there were dozens and dozens of cars from different areas in, and the residents just didn't want hundreds of knockers that were strangers from other parts of the city.

what a horrible attitude! I live in the countryside, on a dangerous road, so this year I took my 4yo and 2yo to the nearest town. They’ve missed out on so much with Covid, and had an amazing time. I’m not usually a Halloween fan, but it felt really magical, like people were reconnecting again… but no, apparently I’m a tourist and should be run out of town. Haloween Sad
SleepingStandingUp · 31/10/2021 21:31

We only knock where there's pumpkins / decs but then the kids get confused when there's lights on, decs up and no one answers. They've knocked at one or two with lights on and no decs but we've quickly told them to leave the door and reminded them of the rules

SleepingStandingUp · 31/10/2021 21:36

@Larryyourwaiter

I always wonder about those out trick or treating - does that mean there’s no one at their house giving out stuff (I did ask this of a grumpy dad because we had nothing, no decorations and was in fact just coming home from work very late. There wasn’t by the way).

We were out by I stopped at Sainsbury’s local and some kids went in and said trick or treat and the manager gave them some sweets! Never would have thought of that.

My friend left a bowl outside her door, the other brought bags and gave them out of the kids answering the door were dressed up and I left DH at home with the toddlers to answer the door
Jesusstolemyhotrod · 31/10/2021 21:37

No one got their houses egged then? We didn't but there's been a load of trouble in 2 areas round here tonight: eggs thrown at windows and kids banging on doors.

speakout · 31/10/2021 21:40

I've never seen any houses being egged in any area I have lived.

Bananarama21 · 31/10/2021 21:44

Plenty round here join and their houses aren't decorated rule is if the light is on. Many tonight which were decorated but didn't answer 🤷‍♀️ just pop the light off.

Kanaloa · 31/10/2021 21:44

[quote Shirazboobaloo]@Kanaloa

I mean did you never go out and trick or treat? If your ‘terrified’ by children in costumes knocking on your door then you need some help because it sounds like you’re seriously anxious.

Don't be dismissive of how people are feeling now or what they are experiencing.

Yep I did T/T in 80s and DC did it in 90s/00s - appreciated all those who opened doors and engaged with kids then BUT the rules have changed.

If you don't want to engage then no decorations is fine. I'm not sitting in the dark but I am absolutely fucked off with the persistent knocks and adults saying: "just knock again I'm sure I saw someone back there"

I am not answering the door as I have other shit to deal with - that doesn't make me anxious or afraid of costumes or terrified of costumes.

It makes me someone who has to get up at 4am to get a train, deal with palliative care for dying relative and organise work rotas for tomorrow. And also someone who has a frigging awful cold (not Covid) and just wants some respite[/quote]
I was responding to a post which referred to trick or treating as ‘terrifying people into giving you food.’ That’s an extreme reaction to a normal occurrence and if you feel like that it is indicative of deeper issues. If you don’t like it then you don’t like it but it’s silly to make out children are going to terrify you or do ‘nasty things’ if you don’t participate.

Kanaloa · 31/10/2021 21:46

In fact the phrase the poster used was ‘terrify people into paying you.’ That is not a normal healthy reaction to hallowe’en. You might find it boring or annoying but children aren’t ‘terrifying people into paying them.’

DoctorSnortles · 31/10/2021 21:55

We shut up shop early as I got pissed off with kids grabbing handfuls of sweets from an offered tub instead of just taking one and getting the arse if I did the, ‘Hold out your bag and I’ll pop one in’ routine.

No manners at all, but that’s modern life for you. Entitlement and complete lack of common courtesy.

Icantrememberthenameoftheartis · 31/10/2021 21:59

Doctorsnortles What a shame but not all children are like that. I went out with a group of about 15 children aged 5/6 (plus parents) and all children were told in advance to take one sweet each and say thank you. And they did.

PurplePinecone · 31/10/2021 22:00

We will look for pumkins, but not all people would want to go to the bother of carving a pumkin, but would get sweets for kids. My parents always have sweets in but say they get hardly any knocks, but probably because they have no pumkins out.

BoredZelda · 31/10/2021 22:04

Everyone arriving here has had a (bad) joke - and 2 boys from the last group treated me to an obviously well rehearsed light sabre battle

Same here. We had some cracking jokes too. We had to prompt them though, so maybe that’s why @weebarra didn’t get any. I think if we hadn’t asked maybe that’s why nine were given.

DoctorSnortles · 31/10/2021 22:05

@Icantrememberthenameoftheartis

Doctorsnortles What a shame but not all children are like that. I went out with a group of about 15 children aged 5/6 (plus parents) and all children were told in advance to take one sweet each and say thank you. And they did.
I am well aware that not all kids are like it, but lots of them are and I'm not legally obliged to spend my money on other people’s ill-mannered, and already vastly over-nourished children.
BoredZelda · 31/10/2021 22:05

No manners at all, but that’s modern life for you. Entitlement and complete lack of common courtesy.

Said every older generation about the younger generation for centuries.

The kids round ours were perfectly polite and chatty.

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/10/2021 22:06

@Bananarama21

Plenty round here join and their houses aren't decorated rule is if the light is on. Many tonight which were decorated but didn't answer 🤷‍♀️ just pop the light off.
What light ?

Porch ?

Living room or kitchen ?

Why should people have to sit on their own house in the dark to stop t&t?

A lit pumpkin is much easier for all to see and for kids to understand

DoctorSnortles · 31/10/2021 22:06

Good for you@BoredZelda

They were horrid little grabbers here.

Shirazboobaloo · 31/10/2021 22:08

@Kanaloa - fair enough - was hard to get context as couldn't see original comment you referred to.

Yep that does seem an extreme reaction.

But to pick up your point it's not just "annoying or boring" when you have opted out of this. It is really invasive and has ruined my evening.

Adults peering through letterbox and stating: "Oh I think they are hiding...come on, don't be a spoilsport" (that's polite version) is not what I had planned for my Sunday evening.

If that was someone vulnerable or elderly then they "may" be scared - even if they aren't people need to back off

SanFranBear · 31/10/2021 22:09

It was definitely quiet tonight, probably about 30 kids all night - I have sweets left which I wasn't expecting but did really enjoy it! To be fair though, I'm normally out with my two and being a single parent, does mean no-ones at my place, giving out treats! DD is old enough to go out with her friends now and we have a brand new kitty, so DS asked to stay home.

We still always do pumpkins though so have probably annoyed many people in the past who've knocked whilst we've been out and been thwarted!

Shirazboobaloo · 31/10/2021 22:10

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MyCatHatesWhiskas · 31/10/2021 22:16

So sorry to hear of so many bad experiences. Feeling really lucky as it was DC1’s first time trick or treating - we stuck to our street (which is long) and people were so lovely. The rule here is “if there are decorations you can knock” and everyone really respected this as far as I could see. Lots of really generous people making a huge effort with their houses and being so kind to the little ones.

All the ones we had at our door were great too. Polite, only took one sweet (well, mini packets, seemed more hygienic), dressed up - and nobody knocked after the pumpkin candle went out. Both DCs loved it!