Do people not understand Halloween etiquette re trick or treating?

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I thought the rule was you only knock on doors where there are obvious decorations or lit pumpkins - basically an invitation to come?

We usually do it and have lots of sweets but I just didn’t feel up to it this year. Teen dd has gone out and it’s just me at home. No decorations at all. And some kids have just come knocking. Have now had to turn lights off at the font to make it look like no one is home!

I've never heard about having to have a joke or entertainment, is that just a Scottish thing? However we had "Carol singers" (I use the term loosely, they were dreadful) a few years ago, knew 2 lines of We wish you a merry Christmas and repeated them a few times, out of tune then demanded payment from my parents. When my parents asked what charity they were collecting for, they left, then ripped down their outdoor fairy lights, smashing the trellis in the process. I think they got mixed up with trick or treat. Not impressed.

Where we are it’s absolutely the rule you only knock at houses that have decorations and/or pumpkins. Agree with PP about only taking one each too.

The only place I've ever come across the 'no pumpkin no knocking' rule is on Mumsnet. In real life it makes no difference whether you're lit up like Blackpool or sitting in the dark pretending you're not in. We even had 2 kids around earlier, in broad daylight, not even dressed up, parents standing at the bottom of the drive while their kids called out trick or treat.

Also, very few people are arriving with a joke, song or other turn. We're in Scotland and this is definitely a tradition. My 13 year old is on door answering duty and he's horrified by the lack of jokes!

I’m 30 and never even knew this was a thing. One elderly lady got the right arse last night when my 4 year old looked at her puzzled when she asked for a ‘trick.’

I literally was brought up thinking it was treat or trick (e.g I’ll egg your house!) 😬

@janj2301

We spent 2 years in Scotland in the 90s. My girls had never done Halloween before, they went out with their new mates. I don't remember them having to do a turn but you handed out monkey nuts, not sweets.

Yep, when I was wee, we had a plate of monkey nuts, a plate of 1p's and 2p's and a plate of sweets for the guisers.

I’m from Yorkshire and we used to sing in rounds at every house and had hollowed our turnips. So not just Scotland. My husband unplugged the doorbell, the miserable old bugger, and ate the sweets with my son in front of Caspar.

Also we only get knocks if we have pumpkins or decorations. It’s bloody expensive if you are skint and I know lots of elderly people who get very distressed and frightened by hoards of teenagers demanding money and sweets.

In terms of Scottish guising (and the idea of a 'turn' for your sweetie) - our Halloween traditions come from the Gaelic Festival of Samhaim - www.nts.org.uk/stories/6-scottish-halloween-traditions

I believe the whole trick or treat thing came from America - my understanding is that the Scottish (and Irish?) traditions went over, were changed, and have come back over as trick or treating - I may be completely wrong about that though.

I think there's very few who won't give a sweetie to a child if they won't do a turn though. As a pp has said, most of the kids are desperate to do their turn and those who don't still get a sweetie.

When we lived in London kids would knock whatever, Now we live in a village they only knock at houses with pumpkins etc outside /clearly decorated.

People I know from school but live 10/15 minutes away we're driving onto our estate. People were knocking at 5pm before i had managed to put the sweets out. I had 80 packets of sweets but they had all gone by 6 so people kept knocking even though the bowls were empty.

It's getting ridiculous now.

@Silkieschickens

When we lived in London kids would knock whatever, Now we live in a village they only knock at houses with pumpkins etc outside /clearly decorated.

We're in London and definitely only knock at decorated houses. Maybe it's different in different areas of town? There were tons of kids and families out last night and groups of kids were all walking past the undecorated houses and knocking at the ones with decorations / lanterns. Been like that the last 5-6 years I've taken the kids out.

In the 20yrs I've lived in this house no-one has ever knocked my door at Halloween, even when I had my own kids at home.
Yesterday I went out and arrived home at 5.45pm and over the following 3hrs there were no less than 20 knocks on my door. I have no decorations, all downstairs and front upstairs lights were off, so definitely no invitation to come looking for sweets etc.

YANBU

it’s generally thought of as any house decorated means ‘trick or treat’ knock to the door!

We haven’t put any decorations up this year either, but luckily as the weather was so shocking, think it deterred many trick or treaters this year.

DS is a teen now so not interested in going out but when he was of the age to go out, we would never knock on doors without decorations!

No decorations up but had numerous knocks. That’s okay but what I couldn’t handle was one group saying what did I have that’s dairy free. Another group wouldn’t accept a sweet out of a celebrations tub as they had a nut allergy.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate food allergies are serious but I’m not a sweet shop. Couldn’t the parents let them have the experience of trick or treating & then swap the goodie for suitable ones.

We're in Scotland, and in our area kids only go to friends' houses and/or houses with decorations, and they all do a turn of some kind (if it's a group, it might be only one or two that tell a joke etc.)

We don't bother keeping sweets in now as our kids are grown up and aren't involved, and we never get random callers.

I’ve never heard of this tbh. When I was growing up very few houses ever had decorations, but most had sweets. House decorating for Halloween just wasn’t a thing.

@libertyfarmboots
When I was growing up very few houses ever had decorations, but most had sweets. House decorating for Halloween just wasn’t a thing.

I grew up late 70s and lived in a block of flats. We knew everyone in the block and most would give us mainly cash rather than sweets because our mum told everyone we were doing it to collect for the church roof fund. She'd hold the cash until we went round the block carol singing, then add the two lid of cash together and send us into church with it.

After about 3yrs we decided to give up doing it because we were getting almost nothing for our efforts but the church (I don't believe in any god) was getting all our hard earned cash!

I didn't have any decorations or pumpkin on display this year and no one knocked. I just didn't think anyone would be out, but there were quite a few, felt bad as I usually enjoy all the kids knocking.

Yes. This is how I also understand.
Decoration and pumpkins with candle in.even if the candles are out or lights off I don’t knock as
I understand that the party -or sweet is over.

I taught my son this etiquete as well :)
But I do understand that is not everybody that knows it, or first time parents, or people that are or used to the tradition. If you don’t want to be bothered just write a note and stick to your door.

@Kanaloa

And in my experience as a child trick or treating in Scotland you said ‘trick or treat’ got some sweets and said ‘thank you.’ No asking for ‘turns’ of songs/jokes etc.

I'm scottish and we ALWAYS had to do a party piece when we were guising.

Still live in Scotland and every child that came round did their party piece. Shame it just seems to be all jokes now, no singing or anything else.

@weebarra

Also, very few people are arriving with a joke, song or other turn. We're in Scotland and this is definitely a tradition. My 13 year old is on door answering duty and he's horrified by the lack of jokes!

That’s a shame-we had songs, poems, jokes the lot! Only a few seemed to be sharing one joke between them

Why aren't the parents telling the kids not to knock? When I was younger we went to every home but these days surely everyone knows to only knock if there are decorations?

Our estate left the sweets outside this year as we thought that was best last year. Although they were all gone rather quickly due to people taking a handful.

I only even heard of this rule a few years ago on mumsnet so may well have broken it multiple times when the dc were small. They’re too old for trick or treat now, but ds1 had a great time at the pub!

@ditavonteesed

Also you take 1 sweet, I've just had some take a massive handful each so now Ive only got enough left for a couple more.

We had loads, but live in a cul-de-sac and it's generally a very well mannered event. Had a couple of kids who dived in to the tub as I opened the door. I just pulled the tub away slightly and popped one sweet in each bag

Well that's the rule we have always played by OP. If it's decorated we knock - if not then no. So if someone did buy stuff in this year and only had their lights on and not a hint of a decoration - we didn't knock because we didn't wish to intrude.

Only my youngest is old enough to continue guising now and she came back with a pretty large haul of treats last night after an hour out. To give an idea we live in a community in Scotland of 8 squares and 30 houses in each. You're talking maybe about 8 houses in each square were decorated. I would say maybe 10 of those houses had nothing left. Our small community really do go all out for Halloween. I think I might have to make up 100 bags for next year just in case, because the 70 we had, went in a matter of an hour.