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Do people not understand Halloween etiquette re trick or treating?

365 replies

Notcontent · 31/10/2021 17:44

I thought the rule was you only knock on doors where there are obvious decorations or lit pumpkins - basically an invitation to come?

We usually do it and have lots of sweets but I just didn’t feel up to it this year. Teen dd has gone out and it’s just me at home. No decorations at all. And some kids have just come knocking. Have now had to turn lights off at the font to make it look like no one is home!

OP posts:
winnieanddaisy · 31/10/2021 22:18

We never decorate our house but still have sweets for when the children knock. Usually we have several groups of children knocking but last year there were none at all .
I was quite puzzled by this and mentioned it to my 8yr old DGD . She said that they had been told in school that they should only call at decorated houses .
No wonder we had no callers even though we had left the hall and the porch lights on .
This year my teenage DGD carved 3 pumpkins and put them in the porch and we had several groups knocking for their treats so decorating is the way to go !

Woeismethischristmas · 31/10/2021 22:23

Around here people leave the porch light on if they are keen to have visitors. Scotland so a joke is told. Some people just hand the treats out though. It’s all very jolly and nice.

@heythereamigo I know in my area local encompasses the rural kids who would naturally go to the local school/ nursery. Parents of nursery kids/ p1s set up a guiding trail for the younger ones to do at dusk with a map of houses of parents/ grandparents / friendly neighbours who’d agreed.

Whitefire · 31/10/2021 22:23

We had door knockers, despite the house being in pretty much darkness and no decorations, we are quite tucked away so don't usually get bothered especially as there are very few young families in the immediate area.

Even more annoying is that it was dark, we have scaffolding up and the car is also parked at a funny angle due to said scaffolding, any sensible parent would have avoided us.

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Irishfarmer · 31/10/2021 22:23

Really did not know that was a rule. But I don't have kids and it's a while since I trick or treated myself! If I'd have known I'd have told my mam, she lives on a busy street but had no one call, she's loads of sweets now. I've had no visitors but I live in the middle of no where!!

BoredZelda · 31/10/2021 22:27

Fuck off and then fuck off some more you self-entitled twat! I am not sitting in the dark in my own house

Oh calm down. I presume they meant your outside light.

thirdfiddle · 31/10/2021 22:27

They were perfectly behaved here. Lots of knocks till we ran out of sweets and brought the pumpkin in, not a single knock after that.

Great system, I used to hate halloween as I both hate bothering strangers and hate people knocking at ours. But now I know we are invited/inviting I'm much happier. (Still send DH out with DC though, not that happy.)

BoredZelda · 31/10/2021 22:29

Good for you@BoredZelda. They were horrid little grabbers here.

Perhaps they were responding to what seems to be a bit of an attitude.

UglyModernWindows · 31/10/2021 22:30

We're in Kent and Halloween is a big thing in our large'ish village. So many houses take the decorations to the next level, it's brilliant.

We've been here 10+ years and the rule "only knock if the house is decorated" has been a thing and well respected.

Divebar2021 · 31/10/2021 22:31

If you don’t like Halloween you would have really hated “mischief night” that we had growing up. No opt-in system for that.

Shirazboobaloo · 31/10/2021 22:35

@BoredZelda - they frigging knocked on the door from 5pm til 9pm.

We do not have an outside light . We have "normal" lighting - you know like most folks do; so they can see there way around their own house.

Outdoor lighting isn't standard where I live

Go and get cross somewhere else and don't assume you know where I live and what my house is like

Chakraleaf · 31/10/2021 22:36

We have a village rule that only knock on houses with pumpkins.

Kids got a bag full of sweets and we had 30+ come to door.

Great fun.

Shirazboobaloo · 31/10/2021 22:40

@Notcontent

If you don’t like Halloween you would have really hated “mischief night” that we had growing up. No opt-in system for that.

Oh you're hard!!

No one is saying they don't like Halloween or T/T - just that there are rules now!

bananabuddy3 · 31/10/2021 22:43

Decorations for Halloween aren’t really something I want to spend my money on. I do however buy a couple of pumpkins (which tomorrow I’ll start making into soup). So I put those at the end of my path to indicate I’m partaking. It’s been a big thing on my estate which I’ve never experienced till I moved here.

Personally I have to give the children and their families a big thumbs up. I heard plenty of parents acknowledge that there was a pumpkin and giving their children permission to knock. I didn’t have any unescorted. No one took big handfuls, some took a couple (to be honest I didn’t mind because I wanted the sweets gone) and 99% of them said thank you etc. I quite enjoyed taking part this year (I definitely bought too many sweets though. Bye bye diet)

There was a discussion on the FB page in my town about timings. First one appeared as the sun was setting and by 7:15 the streets were deserted. I bought the pumpkins in about half 7 and there wasn’t a soul to be seen. That was lovely and a respectful time IMO, I could have dinner and relax for the evening without the doorbell going every 5 minutes or having to stay in the dark.

It’s a shame community spirit and etiquette doesn’t happen everywhere.

Lessofallthisunpleasantness · 31/10/2021 22:45

Trick or treating is not what it was. You are lucky you didn't get an egg through your letter box. That's what we all did when we were kids. Thats why it is called Trick or Treat.

Ann51abc · 31/10/2021 22:46

Yes I agree. Decorations make it clear you welcome trick or treaters

TrashyPanda · 31/10/2021 22:47

@Kanaloa

And in my experience as a child trick or treating in Scotland you said ‘trick or treat’ got some sweets and said ‘thank you.’ No asking for ‘turns’ of songs/jokes etc.
Well, I’m coming from the standpoint of having gone guising when I was a kid, not trick or treating. Plus we had great big scones, smeared with treacle and hung on a string - you stood with your hands behind your back and tried to take a bite.

And you definitely had to do a turn. For irrefutable evidence, just look at any Oor Wullie annual!

Shirazboobaloo · 31/10/2021 22:48

Trick or treating is not what it was. You are lucky you didn't get an egg through your letter box. That's what we all did when we were kids. Thats why it is called Trick or Treat.

I wish - we have shit and fireworks - maybe why some of us are not enamoured about it @Lessofallthisunpleasantness

TheGirlWhoLived · 31/10/2021 22:49

I put up a sign this year as the baby is small - people were super respectful! It says “please don’t knock, the baby is sleeping- grab some sweets, happy trick or treating!”

I was particularly impressed with the rhyming tbh… the bowl of sweets is now empty bar a couple of lone fruitella- checked on it periodically to see if it needed refilling and it was dwindling slowly

Shirazboobaloo · 31/10/2021 22:52

@bananabuddy3

You mentioned It’s been a big thing on my estate which makes me think that those defending knocking on all doors etc maybe live on housing estates and not "streets/roads" - hence different viewpoints

ScouseQueen · 31/10/2021 22:53

@SpookyS

I had no idea ToT tourism was a thing until my friend told me recently that it goes on in her nice friendly village, to the extent that they get dozens and dozens of knockers.

She said that this year they'd arranged to not have decorations outside, and for lanyards for the local village kids, and people would only open their doors to the kids wearing the village lanyards.

A couple of years ago there were dozens and dozens of cars from different areas in, and the residents just didn't want hundreds of knockers that were strangers from other parts of the city.

Surely the cost of the lanyards must outweigh the cost of bunging extra sweets to some kids from outside the village?
immersivereader · 31/10/2021 22:55

Absolutely lashing it down here so not many treaters really

TrashyPanda · 31/10/2021 22:57

I think hello/trick or treat and ‘thank you’ is a bit different than expecting kids to sing/tell jokes/perform. Not every child will be able to do that

I mentioned the little shy girl above.

This year, she had written a fabulous poem, which her Dad read out.

It’s great to see how she can take part, with a little bit of creativity. Totally in the spirit of the night.

TrashyPanda · 31/10/2021 22:58

@TheGirlWhoLived

I put up a sign this year as the baby is small - people were super respectful! It says “please don’t knock, the baby is sleeping- grab some sweets, happy trick or treating!”

I was particularly impressed with the rhyming tbh… the bowl of sweets is now empty bar a couple of lone fruitella- checked on it periodically to see if it needed refilling and it was dwindling slowly

Great poem!
Waitwhat23 · 31/10/2021 23:01

@TrashyPanda Scottish here and we definitely had to do a 'turn' when I was growing up (90's). You were generally invited into the living room, stood on the hearth carpet and told your joke or said your poem and were given your sweet. Tonight, almost all the guisers who came to our door had a joke to tell me - some were pretty good!

DDMAC · 31/10/2021 23:04

Where we live in Ireland it was the ‘wren boys’ would dress up and sing a song on NY day I believe I’ve never heard of it being tradition for Halloween. Children around here now don’t do a trick unless asked.