Don’t read if you’re feeling fragile - black humour.

[Wendyer]

Or possibly not humorous at all, depending how you look at it.

My df died in 2015 and I have his ashes on a shelf in my bedroom.

My dh died in 2017 and I have his ashes on a different, more prominent shelf (under the tv!), also in my bedroom.

(I’ve just realised the presence of two lots of earthly remains in my bedroom might sound grim - it’s quite a nice room really I promise!)

Anyway, I have decorators in so I had to clear all shelves in my room today, and put stuff away. Df and dh ended up next to each other in a cupboard which made me smile as they weren’t especially fond of each other.

I had an imaginary conversation between the 2 of them going on in my head:

Df: What are you doing here?
Dh: What are you doing here - this is my bedroom.
Df : I’m in your bedroom?
Dh: Well, you’re in a cupboard in my bedroom to be precise.
Df : Well how long am I going to be here for? And who are these blokes?
Dh: They’re the decorators obviously, I thought even you would’ve realised that, what with the paintbrushes and the paint …

And so it went on (in my head) for quite some time! It was strangely comforting!

Ha, made me chuckle
I'm sorry for your losses, but.... 😁

That's exactly the kind of thoughts I'd have in that situation too.

Made me smile! Nice to think of them chatting ( or arguing!)
On a similar vein, I offered to go and collect DMIL's ashes from the funeral directors. I was surprised by the size and weight of the container. I popped her on the back seat of the car, and then sniggered because I felt that I was driving a hearse.
Totally inappropriate, but it stopped me crying!

My mum keeps my GF’s ashes in the same place as she keeps her dogs’ ashes. The plan had always been to scatter his somewhere important to him and make a special occasion of it, but she has never been able part with them. It’s sad, but I’m afraid that like you, I have found some black humour in the situation. An eternity in the company of a couple of dogs he wasn’t especially keen on...

I collected my Dads ashes yesterday and my brother had picked the box. It was the most garish golf themed one ever. I thought it was going to a tasteful wooden box. I laughed the whole way back to the car. I put it on the passenger seat and put the seat belt on it

Excellent. :)

🤣🤣🤣
you are my people

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

🤣🤣🤣 you are my people

And mine!

My dad(stickler for work, lost his temper easily, esp with my uncle) and my uncle (dad's brother who dad kept an eye out for but was a very quiet law unto himself) are sat next to each other in the bottom of my mum's wardrobe (they have both passed away nd it is their ashes, they are not just sat there quietly )

We often chat about the conversations they would have, namely driving each other up the wall!

I have my mum in my bedroom.
I also have an ' ashes ' story . Friend lost her mum , when she was dying she told the family where she wanted her ashes to go ( the family are keen walkers and had a favourite mountain.)
However , once the ashes were returned to her Dad , he decided he didn't want them to go and he would keep them with him.
Whenever my friend visits / walks the mountain , she uses the loo in her dad's house and steals a little of her mum and takes her to the mountain.

DH kept his Dad's ashes in his wardrobe until his Mum could face scattering them - he used to talk to his Dad quite a lot, especially when DH come back from the pub......... reckons he got quite good advice.

Dmum has my DDad's ashes in her wardrobe and she chats to him often - she's keeping him until she joins him and they can be scattered together. I have been known to visit Ddad for a chat too.

@AutumnWreath

I have my mum in my bedroom. I also have an ' ashes ' story . Friend lost her mum , when she was dying she told the family where she wanted her ashes to go ( the family are keen walkers and had a favourite mountain.) However , once the ashes were returned to her Dad , he decided he didn't want them to go and he would keep them with him. Whenever my friend visits / walks the mountain , she uses the loo in her dad's house and steals a little of her mum and takes her to the mountain.

That is actually lovely and I feel like it should be a side plot in a film about loss and family relationships....

Op your post made me smile

DH's ashes are on my bookshelf in my bedroom (what's left of them, I scattered most of them where he wanted to be but kept some back) and I chat to him a lot. When I'm on a Teams call and getting pissed off, I'll look at him and pull a funny face (no video on) and imagine him telling me the other person is a knob. He used to always make me howl with laughter when I was in Teams meetings before he died. I find it comforting and funny.

(I put the seat belt round his urn in the car when bringing him home too)

Three deaths in last 18 months and we have only scattered one lot of ashes. I'm struggling to deal with it 😩
Your tale did make me smile

I think that's brilliant!

Even through the humour (and weird made up conversations!) the love for your dad and DH shine through. And I think it's great you can still bring them to life in your mind.

I've just moved my cats ashes to underneath where the cat travel boxes are.... I think he's probably thinking bit for that

I think this is bloody lovely and I hope you smiled while you were thinking about it 💐

I think they would love that you had that conversation and honestly op I kinda think your amazing.

That made me smile.

After DF died my mum bought a nice wooden urn. None of us were relishing the prospect of transferring the ashes, so I (the practical one like DF) mustered up the courage and said we must get on with it. Upon realising the bag from the crematorium wouldn't fit directly into the urn and we'd have to decant the ashes, DB (the sensitive one) left the room).

I worried about any dust escaping so suggested we cover the table in newspaper. DM said in her best Hyacinth Bucket "I will not have your father spilt on newspaper" and went off to get her best tablecloth. Unfortunately a little bit of ash did escape onto the cloth and our hands as we tried to gently pour the ashes into the the urn. I did manage to refrain from saying it was like pouring icing sugar (but it was). Mum then left the room so I went to wash my hands. She returned with a pastry brush and proceeded to brush the ash on her hands into the urn because "we can't possibly wash some of of your father down the sink". Whoops. She still doesn't know that I did. Sorry Dad. But I do think he'd have gone down the newspaper route too.

I love this, OP. My mum and I used to take her mum shopping with us. Gran liked shopping. We would then sit her in front of Countdown.

My dad is on top of my wardrobe. Well part of him. His ashes are all over the place (as in different specific locations not random places) and I sometimes wonder which bits of him I've got up there in a box

My FiL ashes were on a table in our hall for a while. Mu mum who is more woo than us was looking after out house while we were on holiday. While she was in the house, she used the downstairs loo. As it was only her in the house, she didn't shut the door over properly and then she was horrified that FIL could see her having a wee!

Mum keeps DF, 2 dogs and 2 cats ashes in posh biscuit barrels above the TV.

You absolutely cannot get through this without that kind of humour. My mum and I were astounded at the size of the scatter tube for my brother and kept joking they shoved someone else in there with him. Sometimes it’s the only bit of non-crying you get.