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Original poster

Don’t read if you’re feeling fragile - black humour.

79 replies

Wendyer · 29/10/2021 20:17

Or possibly not humorous at all, depending how you look at it.

My df died in 2015 and I have his ashes on a shelf in my bedroom.

My dh died in 2017 and I have his ashes on a different, more prominent shelf (under the tv!), also in my bedroom.

(I’ve just realised the presence of two lots of earthly remains in my bedroom might sound grim - it’s quite a nice room really I promise!)

Anyway, I have decorators in so I had to clear all shelves in my room today, and put stuff away. Df and dh ended up next to each other in a cupboard which made me smile as they weren’t especially fond of each other.

I had an imaginary conversation between the 2 of them going on in my head:

Df: What are you doing here?
Dh: What are you doing here - this is my bedroom.
Df : I’m in your bedroom?
Dh: Well, you’re in a cupboard in my bedroom to be precise.
Df : Well how long am I going to be here for? And who are these blokes?
Dh: They’re the decorators obviously, I thought even you would’ve realised that, what with the paintbrushes and the paint …

And so it went on (in my head) for quite some time! It was strangely comforting!

OP posts:

Just10moreminutesplease · 29/10/2021 22:30

You sound lovely OP. I think it would have brought me comfort too .

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 29/10/2021 22:35

We have a plastic tub containing some of my father in law on the top of a shelf on the bookcase hidden behind a teddy bear. My sisters in law also have some of the ashes as well. Most of him was scattered in his favourite place but mil thought it would be nice for the family to keep some although she said we were free to dispose of him if we wished.

My friend had some of her father's ashes but lost them during the course of a house move.

Loubiemoo · 29/10/2021 22:35

Well, the stories are making me smile, although I do have a rather dark sense of humour.

Amiable · 29/10/2021 22:36

Wonderful! You found just like the sort of person I'd like to be friends with!

MintyCedric · 29/10/2021 22:40

My mum has my nans ashes still in her wardrobe...they've been there for 40 years as mum ultimately wants then buried with her.

My dad passed away in May and after a brief sojourn in the spare room he is now in the wardrobe on the shelf beneath nan.

The didn't get on so I'm sure one or other will be back to haunt my mum at some point!

iamloading · 29/10/2021 22:47

Ah that made me smile. We lost my mum far too young to cancer. She wanted her ashes scattered in the sea on a specific beach. So we clambered over the rocks to get to the sea in Feb, being careful not to drop her. As a wave crashed in we threw them in to catch it. Except at the same time a massive gust of wind blew them all back and we ended up literally inhaling her. And we all needed up crying with laugher on such a sad day, as we knew how funny she would have found it. I was literally blowing ashes out of my nose for about 4 hours after 🙈🙈🙈

frugalkitty · 29/10/2021 22:52

That made me smile OP, I was expecting you to say they'd been muddled up or something so the thought of them having a bit of a chinwag was a much more pleasant outcome. Sorry for your losses though

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 29/10/2021 23:04

My Dad is in my wardrobe ( he didn't take up much room when he was alive , now he's a little bag in a box)
When I put clothes in (especially new ones) I can imagine him saying
"You've got a whole wardrobe full of Nothing-to-Wear"

I'm keeping him until its my Mums time then they can be together again.

Knockoneofftheshelftowin · 29/10/2021 23:12

My adult son died in January and I have a small heart shaped pendant with his photo on a chain around my neck.
I smile to myself sometimes because if he was here he would cringe and tell me off for having him near my cleavage.

I think humour helps a lot in these awful situations.

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 29/10/2021 23:15

Aww these stories are lovely.

Cocolapew · 29/10/2021 23:20

I'm sorry for your loss @Myusernameisnotmyusernameno but that made me smile

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 29/10/2021 23:22

That made me LOL after a really shit day...thanks OP. I too have ashes all round my house...pets and people. I should put them all in the same place really

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 29/10/2021 23:22

@AutumnWreath

I have my mum in my bedroom. I also have an ' ashes ' story . Friend lost her mum , when she was dying she told the family where she wanted her ashes to go ( the family are keen walkers and had a favourite mountain.) However , once the ashes were returned to her Dad , he decided he didn't want them to go and he would keep them with him. Whenever my friend visits / walks the mountain , she uses the loo in her dad's house and steals a little of her mum and takes her to the mountain.

I do hope she enjoyed watching The Great Escape whenever it was on TV.

Sparklfairy · 29/10/2021 23:23

@iamloading this seems to happen in every comedy involving ashes (meet the parents, desperate housewives, dynasty reboot just off the top of my head!) and I've always scoffed and said that would never happen in real life I had such a vivid image reading your post and burst out laughing, it's kind of lovely that a sad memory will always be remembered with a smile (and possibly a sneeze)

RainbowMum11 · 29/10/2021 23:37

Excellent - my Mum has some of her Mum, her brother & her husband - they had interesting relationships and we often chat about it!!!

KilledByWitches · 29/10/2021 23:39

My late mum was horrified when her ndn put half of her late husbands ashes in the sea. "Which part of him does she have?" She said."What if his head is in Wales and she's just got his legs ". I cried laughing. She made me promise I'd not put any of her anywhere other than in the plot when she'd gone.

My dad and I were always the ones for gallows humour. I remember him coming in and telling me he'd got a shadow on his lung. He called it Hank Marvin. He didn't lose that sense of humour at all and it helped us both through I think.

SanFranBear · 29/10/2021 23:42

We buried my Dad at the very top of a beach overseas where him and my Mum had settled 25 years before (against the law to bury him there so we did it in the middle of the night with the spade from a bucket and spade set! He was at least in a biodegradable urn). About a month later, there were torrential rains and the whole beach was swept away - I've never seen floods like it! After a lifetime of travelling, my DB and I consoled ourselves that he was at least continuing to explore, out in the ocean!

LakesideView · 29/10/2021 23:49

This made me smile. It’s the kind of thing I’d imagine too OP.

My Mum wanted to be scattered at a scenic point we visited as a family many times, up a ruddy big hill. She said she wanted to be there because it was somewhere she loved and we go regularly. Course now when we are huffing and puffing up the hill we imagine her laughing that we have to climb said ruddy big hill to visit her! She’ll be looking down and laughing!

nildesparandum · 29/10/2021 23:51

My DH's ashes are sitting in an urn in my front room.He said he would like them scattered on the sea (he was a sailor when young) but covid has hep all arrangements for that so he stays in his favourite room in the house until the scattering is possible.
My DM said she wanted her ashes taken to her favourite childhood holiday location and as she was ancestry there, my brother and I took them there shortly after her death. We strapped her onto the back seat of the car, set off and scattered them n the spot she had requested.We wondered what to do with the empty disposable urn, so after enjoying a meal and a drink in the nearest pub we peeled her name off the top and left it in a bag behind the outside door. I brought the name label home with me and stuck it on the back of an old photo of her.

TerriblyNaice · 29/10/2021 23:52

@Wendyer

Or possibly not humorous at all, depending how you look at it.

My df died in 2015 and I have his ashes on a shelf in my bedroom.

My dh died in 2017 and I have his ashes on a different, more prominent shelf (under the tv!), also in my bedroom.

(I’ve just realised the presence of two lots of earthly remains in my bedroom might sound grim - it’s quite a nice room really I promise!)

I had an imaginary conversation between the 2 of them going on in my head:

And so it went on (in my head) for quite some time! It was strangely comforting!

We'd get on really well OP. Just the sort of thing I would do

My father died a few months before Lockdown and I've not yet had a chance to travel to scatter his ashes.
At the moment he's on a shelf in the hall and I can 'hear' him grumbling at me each time I go past.

Ireallymustgetup · 29/10/2021 23:54

I have my cat’s ashes in a box in my bedroom ‘random stuff’drawer. I bought a stone cat garden ornament and intended burying his ashes in one of his favourite spots in the garden. But I can’t bring myself to put him out in the cold/rain because he always hated it and came to lay by the fire or on my lap. New cat often walks over or stands on the ornament.

unsync · 29/10/2021 23:54

My mother is still at the undertaker after six and a half years. My father always kept her waiting and still is He's nearly 90 now, I reckon she'll be there a while yet!

Shodan · 30/10/2021 00:00

I have some of my dad's ashes in a little pot on my mantelpiece.

When my mother died, I was very tempted to put some of her ashes next to his, because she absolutely loathed him and spent 40 years bitching about him.

I liked to imagine the disgust and horror she would've expressed, in finding out they were Ash Neighbours.

(Didn't do it in the end. Dad didn't deserve that )

thatonesmine · 30/10/2021 00:01

We scattered my PILs ashes across several fields where they used to enjoy walking. Found out later that one of the fields is a Site of Special Scientific Interest and we had altered the chemistry of the soil.

BlooBagoo · 30/10/2021 00:11

FIL died a few months before I met DH (about 10 years ago now.) It took him a while before he told me he still had some of FIL's ashes in a Tupperware in the house as he thought I would freak out.

He obviously underestimated me as I personally carried FIL from our old house to our new when we moved as I didn't want anything to happen to him. He's still in a Tupperware in a cupboard in our display cabinet.

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