Lighthearted - what things have your toddler said or done that have broken your heart?

[MyMabel]

Inspired by the fact my already unaffectionate nearly 2-year old just about threw my heart into the bin tonight.

We always have a cuddle in her bed while she has her milk. But tonight I tried to hug her and was met with an annoyed grunty-cry and her turning away, so I said “oh sorry I thought you wanted a cuddle; so you want mummy to go?”

She said “yeah.” So I thought I’d check since she was crying and hoping she misheard me so I asked her again “you want me to go yes?” She said “yeah” so I tucked her in and left her alone.

She called me in once she’d finished her milk and said “night night mummy!” I said “night night darling” and tried once more to give her a hug as she seemed happier now.. but no. I got “no, night night mummy” while pushing me away.

What did I do to deserve this kind of emotional punishment from my child? Is it because I’m growing her a sibling? Does she already know my attention will be divided next year? Is it because it’s a boy and she wanted a sister? Is it because I didn’t buy her enough Christmas and birthday today this evening? I guess we’ll never know the reason. But upon almost crying to my own mum about this I was met with “wait and hear what she calls you when she’s 13, circle of life I call it”

So maybe it’s good old fashioned karma?!

Feel free to share the things your own children have done to make you question their love for you.. it might make me feel better knowing I’m not the only worst mum in the world sometimes 😂

lighthearted!

One of mine told me my bum was bigger than Mexico

My two year old pretends to eat my tummy flab (sometimes with a wooden spoon). He thinks it's delicious. I think he does it now cus it gets such a good reaction from whoever is in the room.

My twins are only 20 months, so can't really speak yet, but still manage to insult me!

I normally wear my long hair tucked up in a hair clip, just to get it out of the way, and to save time styling it.
The odd time I make an effort and wear it down, and nicely curled/straightened, one of my twins looks at it dubiously and skates her head.
I asked her "do you not like mummy's hair down, you want it up?", and she nodded approval!

The driving off leaving mum at the bin and the friends not thinking the mums pretty 🙈😅

Yesterday I walked into a room, wearing black. My almost two-year old pointed at me and shouted, "Vampire!" (Didn't even know she knew that word!)

I've also had from my 4 year old, "Mummy, you're not wearing your rings - you're not pretty any more!"

DD - (overhears me talking about my weight gain) "Mummy, don't say you're fat, it's not nice. Even though you are fat, just say you're blobby, it sounds kinder"

For a some homework about parents, dd (5 at the time) "my daddy plays music in a band. my mum sleeps all the time".
I did have quite bad depression, was sure a phone call home was immienet.

I looked after my cousin's children for a while when she was ill.

When it was time for them to go back home, her wee girl (age 4) asked if her mummy could make "bassanga" (lasagna) for dinner that night, only it had to be "nice, like Aunty Carrie makes it, not black and hard like you make it mummy"

"Your beard is nice and soft, not spiky like Papa's."
Um....thanks?
It'd definitely be worse if he had said it was spiky I suppose?

My dd (now 15) was fascinated with weddings when she was 3 because of William and Kate.
MIL to dd "I can't wait to dance at your wedding"
Dd "Oh you won't dance at my wedding"
MIL "why's that?"
Dd "because you'll be dead!"

DS when he was about 4. "Mummy why are you going to the gym?" "So I will look beautiful like the people on the telly." DS "You won't though will you, because of your face". Git.

These are brilliant! When dd was two or three she said 'it's ok if daddy dies mummy, but you mustn't'. Harsh!

It was our wedding anniversary recently so looking at some photos. DD2 "Ooh you look beautiful mummy. [Gives me long look up and down] "Why aren't you like that now?"

This will be outing to those who know me but anyways, when my son was 2.5 he was in his car seat in the rear of my friends car when we stopped to chat to my friends mother, she put her head in the window to chat to my angelic looking (deceptively so) Toddler and pointing upwards says 'look at all the birdies on the wire', without a second passing my son replied 'shoot the whores', I was mortified and quickly realised he'd been spending a lot of time with my father who was constantly complaining about the birds eating the crops he planted, chat needed with grandfather to encourage the passing on of agriculture knowledge without the awful language. Son is almost 30 now, he's more careful of his language and still adores his grandfather. I still get embarrassed when I meet my friends mother.

I suppose it's not the same but my 8yo is autistic and just doesn't do affection. Mostly, you'll ask for a cuddle and you get an emphatic shake of the head or possibly pushed away. Sometimes though, he'll put his head on you and that's your cuddle.

My otherwise adoring DD saw me without makeup. Doesn't often happen. She looked at me strangely then said I was like her grandmother had been. Before her death. They haven't met as my mother did actually die while she was on the way, but there are photos around and she's probably right frankly.

My nephew when he was 4 said to his mum, mummy I'm ugly. My sister said no your not you look like me, thinking he would say your beautiful mummy, but no the little darling said I know mummy that why I'm ugly!

My niece when she was about 3, I was looking after her for a day as her siblings and parents went to see WWF wrestling. As not to make her feel left out I told her we would have a really fun day.
We went to the park, MCDonalds, the toy shop where she picked a toy and then finished off with a visit to peppa pig who was appearing in the shopping centre.
On the way home she looked and me and says Auntie Pixie when's the fun going to start!

I'd spent a fortune and was exhausted trying to give her a fun day!

Me: “When you grow up what would you like to be?” (I’m thinking I’m going to hear him say train driver or superhero).

c.5 year old DS: “When I grow up I want to be a murderer so I can do lots of stabbing. But don’t worry Mummy I won’t do stabbing to fat people”.

There is so much wrong with this, the career choice (I have no idea where he got the notion from) but also the up and down look I got when he was telling me I’d be safe

He’s 17 now and wants to be a journalist (thank fuck).

Absolutely loving all of these! Kids can be so cruel yet so cute

Not sure DP appreciates me sat giggling besides him at 1:30am but nonetheless I feel much better!

Sometimes I squish into DS' toddler bed for a cuddle, generally he finds it funny. Yesterday I got:

"Cuddle in bed?"

“Yes, DS, I'll cuddle you in bed."

"No, not you, Mummy, you too fat to fit."

Delivered with the kind of casual cruelty that only a 2 year old can muster.

Today he told me that he liked all his nursery keyworkers better than me. 🤷‍♀️ He also never wants me and only wants his Daddy lately, which is galling, and somewhat problematic, when his Daddy works away during the week atm and I'm the one lavishing love and affection on him and taking care of him during that time.

Quite a sweet one but made me feel like a right cow.

I was doing bits around the house and DS was trailing after me talking away, and I was starting to just want some peace.

DS (5): why does always follow me around
Me: (angrily) why do you always follow me around?
DS: because you're lovely

Oh the guilt!

When my daughter was 4, she returned from having tea at her friend's house and went straight upstairs. I followed her and found her packing my old vanity case with her nightie and clean clothes and her Binkie (stuffed toy she always took to bed).She announced that she was going to live with Margaret (her friend's Mum). So I asked her why and she said that. Margaret made nice macaroni.
.,'1 make nice macaroni'
'not nice like Margaret's'.
I was devastated. 'I won't make macaroni again.'
'Promise?'
Utterly devastated.

DD4 has complained about my morning coffee breath before. One day I tried to give her a good morning kiss and she said "mummy, your breath really stinks!" I said "that's not kind, it hurt my feelings". She replied "oh. I'm so sorry mummy!" Then held her nose tight and said "SOMEBODY who is sitting next to me's breath really stinks" 😂

I'm glad I'm not the only one on the receiving end of these and since DS is only 2 I imagine it's only going to get worse.

The other day he saw me getting dressed and said 'mummy's tummy wobble wobble'. I did tell him that was mostly down to him!

But mostly he is a mummy's boy and DH is on the receiving end of 'go to work now, daddy' comments.