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Original poster

My child seems to have a food addiction

101 replies

fucketyfuckwit · 21/10/2021 20:29

Any parents of secret eaters?

I keep finding wrappers everywhere! The last straw has been an empty pot of hot chocolate powder and a spoon down the side of the sofa. Last week it was a box of icing.

DD is 10. Overweight and seems to be addicted to food/sugar.

Any advice please. I don't quite know where to turn next.

and I really fancied a hot chocolate

OP posts:
00100001 · 21/10/2021 22:09

@fucketyfuckwit

She does look overweight. Largest in her class. Not the tallest in the class but top 3rd in height.

I think I will try and up the exercise as much as I can and up the snacks too.

Give her a better (bigger) breakfast...and a substantial after-school snack.

So maybe add full fat yogurt and a banana..Oor a slice of toast and peanut butter. Or, if you (or she) has time scambled egg on toast/eggy bread etc.

For after school, give her savoury flapjack/muffins/toast and peanut butter/crumpets/cheese on toast/ cheese and crackers etc.

Then see if the sneaking if icing sugar etc continues.

Original poster
fucketyfuckwit · 21/10/2021 22:11

@JaneDoe21

Can't you see the damage your doing? You've been told your effectively starving your child and your still going on about her weight. Good grief!
Calm down dear! She's not starving.

Because of her weight and the fact that she does very little exercise I cut back on snack food at home. Because of this it seems she still wants to eat what she can find.

I feel I have had some good advice on the thread and will make some changes. Thank you.

OP posts:
busybee94 · 21/10/2021 22:13

I'm going to come at this from someone who suffered with secret binge eating as a teenager. It was triggered with stress from my GCSEs and I was perfectly well fed by my family. I used to eat like a shark, anything I could get my hands on. It wasn't even hunger it was emotional.

I'd suggest some therapy and a daily treat, and no calorie counting to avoid binging. Can you introduce exercise and do it together?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
00100001 · 21/10/2021 22:15

@busybee94

I'm going to come at this from someone who suffered with secret binge eating as a teenager. It was triggered with stress from my GCSEs and I was perfectly well fed by my family. I used to eat like a shark, anything I could get my hands on. It wasn't even hunger it was emotional.

I'd suggest some therapy and a daily treat, and no calorie counting to avoid binging. Can you introduce exercise and do it together?

Why therapy though, when the most likely problem based on the information we're given is that's she hungry... Confused
Beebababadabo · 21/10/2021 22:24

Maybe some healthy filling snacks between meals, I boil some eggs and my kids will have an egg for a snack and some carrot/cucumber to go with it. Nuts and fruit and also sometimes I cook some chicken drumsticks in the week and have it cold from the fridge and they quite enjoy eating one of them between meals. I find protein fills my boys up more, so something like peanut butter with apple or veg with egg etc. They still eat there dinner it's usually 2 hours before dinner they get hungry. My older ds would eat all that your dd eats in a day and at least two good snacks between and he is nine. So he be asking for food tbh too

imamearcat · 21/10/2021 22:34

My DD is skinny as a bean but wears clothes 2/3 years older because she is so tall. Is she actually overweight?

ZealAndArdour · 21/10/2021 22:46

Is she hiding the wrappers and detritus? Or are they left out in the open? If she secretive about her eating?

I’m another one on the thread who has been diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder. I didn’t get therapy until I was 34. I started off as an older child and teen in a household with restricted food (due to poverty and an inattentive primary parent) but it ended up being full blown emotional binge eating.

Icing sugar and hot chocolate powder are odd things to eat for a child who is just hungry.

00100001 · 21/10/2021 22:49

But it's also cheese, yogurts and breadsticks... Not just the icing sugar and hot chocolate powder.

Jennifer3849 · 21/10/2021 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Original poster
fucketyfuckwit · 21/10/2021 22:51

She is hiding the wrappers, I find wrappers stashed in all places.

OP posts:
Original poster
fucketyfuckwit · 21/10/2021 22:52

I think it's just sweet stuff she's craving.

OP posts:
idontlikealdi · 21/10/2021 22:54

I used to do this. I was desperately unhappy. I was overweight, comfort ate, got fatter, more unhappy and the cycle continued. I didn't understand the link between food and weight at ten, no one explained it to me. Educate, don't restrict and get her moving.

Original poster
fucketyfuckwit · 21/10/2021 23:04

@idontlikealdi

I used to do this. I was desperately unhappy. I was overweight, comfort ate, got fatter, more unhappy and the cycle continued. I didn't understand the link between food and weight at ten, no one explained it to me. Educate, don't restrict and get her moving.
I'm sorry you felt that way.

I will do thank you. I will educate her more.

It's such a minefield though as I try really hard not to make her feel self conscious.

OP posts:
Waitinginmycar · 21/10/2021 23:19

OP, you are not alone. I have posted about this before re my DD who is the same age as yours. We don't have any 'junk' at home, so DD will eat icing sugar straight from the box, raisins, anything sweet she can find in our house, and she will hide the wrappers and boxes all over the house.

My DD is very slim, so we were initially concerned about a potential eating disorder. This behaviour peaked during lockdown, we were really concerned as she would pick at her food during meal times and then consume all of these things in secret. Things really improved when she was back at school after lockdown. She told us that she felt much better and that she no longer felt the need to eat in secret, so we were hopeful. Now we are finding wrappers and other signs of secret eating all over the place again.

OP, I have no advice to offer as we tried everything the last time around. We have treats every now and then, we tend to get sweets or bake something together for movie night on weekends so it's not as if she is deprived of treats. We have felt reluctant to seek out therapy, as we don't want to make this into a huge issue for her, but I am beginning to think it may be our only option.

I wish you all the best, OP. I hope you will find a way to help your daughter to feel better, this must be so sad for them.

BritInAus · 21/10/2021 23:57

She sounds hungry! I remember at that age being STARVING when I got home from school. Would always have something like a couple of slices of toast with peanut butter.

Kanaloa · 22/10/2021 00:05

So is she having just one portion of veg per day with her dinner and no fruit at all? It doesn’t sound a lot to be honest.

Maybe you could have free snacks like vegetables and similar. So tell her that xyz is here for her to eat so she isn’t then eating chocolate powder etc.

Kanaloa · 22/10/2021 00:06

Although I will say my youngest is six and eats more than your daughter in a day. She will have some fruit with her weetabix in the morning, her packed lunch then probably a snack when home from school as well as her dinner later in the evening.

She’s not overweight at all, so if that’s genuinely all your child is eating then I’m not surprised she’s sneaking food when she can.

Courtier · 22/10/2021 00:10

@MrsCardone

OP, my DD aged 9 is like this, but it’s out only started a few weeks ago. In that time she has become obsessed with food.

We eat a healthy plant-based diet but she’s adding to it with jam on toast and extra cereal, etc. She is actually looking a bit, dare I say it, tubby.

I wonder if it’s anything to do with puberty?

She's probably due a growth spurt and is hungry
Dancingonmoonlight · 22/10/2021 00:21

I'm unsure whether to worry or not but your daughter is eating now, age 9, what my children ate when they were 6 years old.

DC2 refuses to eat proper meals and has a diet of carbs.
I try to restrict 'snacks' and encourage fruit but its a losing game and I often reach for crackers/breadsticks/tucs to discover DC2 has eaten them all. DC2 is also adverse to exercise.

If your daughter will eat meals, then I'd increase the portions sizes. DC2 refuses to eat dinner unless its pasta so you are lucky that she will eat full meals.

BuckEmOrf · 22/10/2021 00:40

She isn't going to the same secondary school as her friends next year so maybe that is it. But she is going to the best private school in the area, a small school which encourages each child to do 2 clubs per day, many of which are sports clubs. I'm really hoping that when she makes new friends there they will encourage her to go to sports clubs with them.

Does she want to go to this fancy school? Really? If not, this could be linked.

She probably is hungry and all the suggestions of boiled eggs and apples may not help. What about a hot chocolate with skimmed or semi skimmed milk - protein. Baked potatoes when she's starving with protein, or a yoghurt and berry smoothie.

BuckEmOrf · 22/10/2021 00:41

Comma failure.

Knackeredmommy · 22/10/2021 01:05

I'd take her to the GP, could be a deficiency or emotional, could just be a growth spurt, I wouldn't assume anything before a health check.

icedcoffees · 22/10/2021 05:30

I did this as a pre-teen.

My parents were super super strict when it came to sweet treats. Dessert was always fruit salad or yoghurt - never anything like ice cream or maybe apple crumble or cake. There was never any crisps, chocolate etc. in the house either.

I ate sugar and hot chocolate powder with a spoon as I craved sweetness - and not the kind of sugar you get from fruit.

My parents were big fans of wholesome "healthy" cooking - which was fine but not what I wanted to eat day in, day out with absolutely no variation.

As soon as I had access to my own money I spent it on junk and as an adult I have an awful relationship with food. Please don't be too restrictive - it doesn't work long term.

uggmum · 22/10/2021 06:06

I really would seek medical help with this.

My friend has a 14 year old boy that is addicted to food.

He was slightly overweight at around 9. But he is now 14 and over 20 stone.

He is a compulsive eater and despite me recommending that she sought help and limited food in the house, she ignored it.

He literally raids the house for food and eats anything he can. Has stashes of food wrappers in his room.

He even made up a full box of paxo stuffing and ate it in one sitting as he was desperate for food.

Food addiction is real and can be linked to emotional issues.

creamandberries · 22/10/2021 06:26

People are being extremely hasty in suggesting therapy. In all likelihood she's just hungry and sending her to therapy will likely just shame her if you jump straight to it.

She's a preteen- she's bound to be ravenous. Please be careful OP- as countless others have said you're in prime eating disorders territory- how you behave now could have a huge affect on her lifelong relationship with her body/food. If she's hungry- let her have more. Stop referring to some foods as junk and reintroduce them back into the house. If she's a little overweight, fine. Better that then developing an eating disorder.

If she's one of the tallest in her class then statistically she's also more likely to develop an eating disorder too as she'll feel she stands out.

But please please stop restricting her access to certain foods. Especially in response to her weight.

I would do all of that and if there's still a problem in a years time then I would seek therapy- but in all likelihood her body is just craving more food than you're giving her and it will balance out in a few months.