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Original poster

My child seems to have a food addiction

101 replies

fucketyfuckwit · 21/10/2021 20:29

Any parents of secret eaters?

I keep finding wrappers everywhere! The last straw has been an empty pot of hot chocolate powder and a spoon down the side of the sofa. Last week it was a box of icing.

DD is 10. Overweight and seems to be addicted to food/sugar.

Any advice please. I don't quite know where to turn next.

and I really fancied a hot chocolate

OP posts:
ChorizoJacketPotato · 21/10/2021 21:11

I mean this with so much respect but you need to ignore the people who are telling you to restrict her food and get a dietitian.

She doesn’t need a dietitian. She needs therapy. Binge eating is a coping mechanism, it is rarely to do with diet and usually to do with mental health issues.

ChipsNCurry · 21/10/2021 21:12

That doesn't sound like much food at all, maybe she's hungry? My 9 year old eats way more than that and he's as skinny as a stick. In his school the lunch portions are really small.

Does she need a healthy snack when she gets back from school? Or if she's hungry before bed?

Original poster
fucketyfuckwit · 21/10/2021 21:13

She did eat more than she does now. But that's when she ended up putting on quite a bit of weight. She doesn't do a lot of exercise, she refused to go for walks (we have to make her) she doesn't partake in sports clubs etc.

But because of her weight gain I cut back on snacks.

I think it was the shock of the icing and hot chocolate.

I have spoken with her and she did it because of nothing else to eat.

There ware apples and bananas available,

I feel dreadful now. Poor thing.

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ChipsNCurry · 21/10/2021 21:16

Definitely up the exercise and get her moving. Walking or cycling to school, after school sports clubs, street dance, weekend bike rides, trampolining with her friends, junior parkrun or whatever she is interested in. My 9 year old is doing couch 2 5k with me cos he likes the music and instructions.

A sedentary lifestyle is really not healthy.

Original poster
fucketyfuckwit · 21/10/2021 21:19

I have tried and tried to get her moving more. I will of course keep trying but she is so stubborn. She had been given the opportunity to do everything you can think of but she just isn't interested. We now try and go for 2 long walks at the weekend to make she is doing something.

A few weeks ago she asked if she could do the netball team after school, I was delighted. She went once and then refused to go again.

I'll carry on trying though.

OP posts:
AdriannaP · 21/10/2021 21:24

OP I started secretly eating at this age. Lots of emotional issues and I basically ate my emotions. Anything going on in her life? New sibling/stepparent/issues at school or with friends?

I know you are trying but also agree that it is so so crucial to get her engaged again in any sort of sports. Her weight problem will only get worse if she has zero sports she enjoys.

Original poster
fucketyfuckwit · 21/10/2021 21:27

I'm not aware of anything going on.

She isn't going to the same secondary school as her friends next year so maybe that is it. But she is going to the best private school in the area, a small school which encourages each child to do 2 clubs per day, many of which are sports clubs. I'm really hoping that when she makes new friends there they will encourage her to go to sports clubs with them.

OP posts:
Original poster
fucketyfuckwit · 21/10/2021 21:27

It's not necessarily a sporty school, but they will encourage her to try everything.

OP posts:
Summerfun54321 · 21/10/2021 21:32

But because of her weight gain I cut back on snacks.

But you say she’s tall and is only in one size clothes up than her age. Have you been to the GP about this? It sounds like she’s hungry and you aren’t feeding her enough. Kids are meant to gain weight, particularly girls in preparation for puberty. Also if she’s tall she might be heading for puberty earlier than many of her peers as well.

Pencilandpaper · 21/10/2021 21:34

Quite a drip feed.. so, no snacks or “junk” (please don’t refer to food like this to her) in the house NOW. But, you did have it and she put on weight so you stopped?
She became overweight somehow - and that couldn’t have been from breadsticks and babybels. It reads like she was overeating biscuits, sweets etc, put on weight, you have now too severely restricted so she is secretly eating?

JaneDoe21 · 21/10/2021 21:35

Yep thought so. Maybe focus less on the weight and the well being of your own child?
Being one clothes size up is normal. It doesn't mean she's overweight. Everything is fine in moderation but not to the extremes your doing you could cause a eating disorder if your not careful.

Hoolihan · 21/10/2021 21:35

My 9yo does this too, she can't seem to help herself. We don't have lots of junky stuff in the house but I do buy e.g. cereal bars for packed lunches, I'll get a box of five and she'll sneak three in a day. She shoves wrappers down the side of her bed/sofa/wash basket. I once found an empty bottle of maple syrup in her toy box 😱 She's done it from a really early age. We've talked about it a lot, tried to devise strategies, told her that as long as she asks she can have whatever she wants, got cross, ignored it. Nothing seems to make any difference! She's not overweight but I find it really worrying. Sorry not much help but you're not alone!

00100001 · 21/10/2021 21:37

@ChorizoJacketPotato

I mean this with so much respect but you need to ignore the people who are telling you to restrict her food and get a dietitian.

She doesn’t need a dietitian. She needs therapy. Binge eating is a coping mechanism, it is rarely to do with diet and usually to do with mental health issues.

What makes you think it's binge eating?
EvenRosesHaveThorns · 21/10/2021 21:37

Maybe it's too restrictive at a time when her body is craving sugar and fat. I know at that age I made off with the odd naughty banned thing from the cupboard because I wasn't allowed anything.. if you allow some treats and snacks into the diet, it could take away the forbidden fruit cravings

Plotato · 21/10/2021 21:38

I used to sneak snacks because I had so little access to chocolate and treats at home. Random things like stale marshmallows left over from baking. Obviously if there had been better foods i would have snuck those! Emptying your house of junk food is the opposite of the answer I think. (FYI I'm a size 8 adult and allow myself and my daughter plenty of treats now, just in moderation).

ChorizoJacketPotato · 21/10/2021 21:41

@00100001 you don’t get overweight by eating a bit of icing and some hot chocolate powder with normal healthy meals. She is binge eating and doing it secretively. If she doesn’t get help now this will be the rest of her life.

plantastic · 21/10/2021 21:44

Is she just hungry? I remember being ravenous at that age; I used to spend my allowance on loaves of fresh bread and would eat constantly. The need for calories was intense . I did do a lot of sport but don't think I had enough protein and complex carbs to eat. I was also 2 sizes of clothes up as I was very tall (but not overweight); my kids are the same. If she is tall it's not necessarily a problem. At 5'11'' I'm the short one in my family.

I would try lots more protein and good fats and see if that helps. Fruit doesn't cut it (I would do 3 bananas at once at that age!).

00100001 · 21/10/2021 21:44

@ChorizoJacketPotato but OP is implying that the child put the weight in before the healthy diet.

I don't think the child is binge eating personally. I think she's hungry. But the OPs concern about her previous weight gain are "blinding" her iyswim?

beigebrownblue · 21/10/2021 21:47

I would hand over all food choices to her and let her get her own food.

Provide adequate food and veg. Ask if she needs any help.

It is a control thing at that age.

You might just find if she can control it herself it is no big deal and it will ease up.

Bushkin · 21/10/2021 21:51

Is she actually overweight?

One age size up in clothes at that age doesn’t suggest so, especially if tall. Be careful about restricting food too much and causing issues

Original poster
fucketyfuckwit · 21/10/2021 21:56

She does look overweight. Largest in her class.

Not the tallest in the class but top 3rd in height.

I think I will try and up the exercise as much as I can and up the snacks too.

OP posts:
CaptainChannel · 21/10/2021 21:56

Can't you have some healthy snacks in the house so she doesn't go rooting around for icing sugar and hot chocolate powder.
Can you get in her favourite fruits and keep the fruit bowl stocked up? I also buy a few things like Go Ahead Yoghurt breaks, corn cakes, mini bags of pretzels- not highly calorific but still a small treat for after school that that doesn't make children feel deprived.

GalesThisMorning · 21/10/2021 21:57

I would be tempted to get more treat foods in, not less! And let her help chose, plan and cook meals. Make cakes together. Make food enjoyable fun and easy.

JaneDoe21 · 21/10/2021 22:05

Can't you see the damage your doing? You've been told your effectively starving your child and your still going on about her weight. Good grief!

Wotsitsits · 21/10/2021 22:06

Put out more filling healthy snacks.

Ditch the low fat stuff, it's junk. They replace the fat with sugar! Carbs won't fill anyone up either, they convert directly to sugar in the body and are gone v quickly. Easy swap for the breakfast is porridge instead of weetabix.

Healthy fatty and protein rich snacks are needed. Meat, nuts, eggs, cheese, peanut butter. Add protein powder to things you cook with flour. Add beans, lentils and chickpeas to savory foods.

Kids need bigger portions than an adult of the same physical size, because they're still growing